Priorities... what is most important to you

An issue tonight brought up priorities. I know most of the women .. I think most... are parents.. but we also ... most of us.. are career women. And we want to be in love.

Men here have jobs, love interests, and children too.

So let me ask you this... if they collide what comes first... Most of us would probably say children so you know what... I'm not making that a choice. To me that is a given. Lets say for those of us who have children that would be our first priority... but aside from that. What are your other priorities? I would really like to hear from the men here.

My issue came up because of my workaholic friend that cannot even put three hours aside on any given weekend to get together even though he did help friends out this morning and blew me off and our plans which would probably only have taken a few hours and went to work where he will be the rest of the weekend... so as it stands now. We are no longer seeing each other.

Poor Swan! Well, at least you found out before you became too emotionally involved.

I voted for "Other". My first priority right now is figuring out how to semi-retire so that I can stop working so much and get my condo fixed up so that I can sell it and try to find a more affordable area to live in and maybe even be able to buy a real house.

Patricia, let me say we were "activity" partners which has no meaning if there are no activities... lol, not a romance... so we may still talk but then... I have more in common with some folks here if that's the case.

If I was in a relationship, other than my children he would come first. Everything else is gravy to me.

I voted for my job, which for me really means my career/profession -- I'm not necessarily tied to my current place of employment.

However, having said that, I do have regular hours of work and would NEVER blow off plans with a friend to do overtime. There's nothing that would come up for me that would be any kind of emergency, so all the after-hours work can fit around my other activities.

my ongoing relationship with God, comes first then everything else will be fine, He knows how much I love my family, I am so blessed they are beautiful. My spiritual development enables me to live today as a free person and know I am not in charge anyway, so i try to be happy in the moment.

I voted for "other", I think my priorities are ever-shifiting, depending on the situation, like where the pressure ("need") is highest, be it a job-issue, friends' issue or partnership at any given time where those sides might clash.

I would not blow off my friend or partner to "just" work overtime, if I had already agreed to spend time with them; I only work overtime if I have to, anyway ^_^ - but as it's based on project work, this does happen occasionally, and yes, then I would also expect my partner to realize that project deadlines are something that can take priority for a few days - it's hardly ever over extended periods anyway ...

I guess I generally like to keep all parts in my life kinda balanced ;)

Having said that: if I had to chose between a relationship and a job (say, because jobs are hard to get locally and I had to move a significant distant and my partner would not be willing or able to come along), there are good chances that I might choose job over the relationship, if a mutual compromise could not be obtained ... But this isn't an "everyday" case and has to be seen in terms of the very specifics of the situation ....

But mostly, my priorities will shift continuously to where my attention is most needed or wanted at a given time ;)

I too voted for other, my life is far too unpredictable to ever state that my priorities would only lie in one place ........ At the moment, losing the flab an re-toning my body is running about equal to training Ella to behave like a reasonable dog an not a rebellious teen with attitude ( yup have hit the terrible teens with the choccy dog :( LOL She even had Canine acne!!!) within a month or 2 it will shift to getting everything in order ready for Uni in the fall YAY So really Crazy said it best ............


Originally posted by Carazy

my priorities will shift continuously to where my attention is most needed or wanted at a given time ;)

PS In my case this includes my kids, then again they r 25 & 26 an both have SO's

Swan-- I am sorry that your plans were blown off and that your 'activity' friend let you down.

I and Prince Charming both voted for our S/O being the most important.

I was married to a man for about 10 years that everything else in life was more important to him than me or our relationship. If I didn't have a specific plan for a day or evening then to him.... he was free to make plans to play ball or fish or something that he thought was 'fun'. Being with me and just 'being' was never good enough. I was alone most of my marriage. I learned to be self sufficient and that is a good thing but I also felt sad most of the time, and angry.

This experience did do one thing for me though. I learned that to have a fulfilling life we must put our loves first. Oh yes, sometimes things come up and take control. But in my heart, my SO and his feelings are number one. It is wonderful to be married to someone who feels the same way.

I am sure you will find someone that will treat you with the respect and love you deserve. Do not settle for anything less. It just doesn't work that way.

Cindy

Right now,
the job comes first, (after the kids).
Being a single parent-
that is just the way it is.

Would a man come first in my life.
No- but we would come first.
I know that comes off kind of selfish-
but I will never put a man before everything else.
Nor do I expect him to do the same for me.

In many ways my marriage failed
because I put my ex first.
I did everything in order for his life to
be happy and comfortable and put all my
needs and wants on the back burner.
Funny how that had a real bad back-lash effect
on both of us and as it ended up-
neither of us was happy.


<FONT SIZE=5 COLOR=768A76 FACE="Lucida Handwriting">~Sage~ </FONT><img src="http://ChasingDownTheBlue.homestead.com/files/lilfairy.gif">

<FONT SIZE=2 COLOR=Black FACE="Tempus Sans ITC">And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Letting the days go by
let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
water flowing underground
Into the blue again
in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones
there is water underground.

Same as it ever was...</FONT>
<FONT SIZE=5 COLOR=Black FACE="Freestyle Script">Talking Heads</FONT>

blondie I will be off the computer MOST of the day.. you can't expect TOO much :D

Sage... yes wording here... as far as Him or Us, I think my definition of putting him first also includes myself....

Poll writing is difficult LOL

Mostly you guys have said that it varies depending on the situation and of course that is true... there have been times I have had to work on a weekend... but I don't think if I was in a relationship that I would keep a job that caused me to work EVERY weekend unless I COULD NOT get another.

Mostly you get out of anything what you put into it and this guy wrote to me today and said something like he works so hard so his children will have something to divy up when he dies... SAD.. I mean what about him? what about now? So this is not someone I would be interested in... so I'm glad I took the SLOW route this time :D

Sorry I didn't put God in there. Used to be that my life was God's, but I have changed that as some may know... don't come down on me here.... born again Christian for about 15 years... not any longer.

swan it seems you have a bad taste in your mouth about the born again's and some are pretty nutty but i hope that your heart is not hardened towards God, being a born again to me means to be of Christ, Christ was the first to forgive and accept, i have noticed mention that alot of born agains get hung up on outward appearance, sexual situations what not..... if i am a sinner and always will be then it is not for others to judge me, and not for me to judge them...

i know for a fact i will never be perfect but God is, and that is great. I do however try very hard to learn more, be more like what i believe in my heart would be pleasing to Him.

here's a passage of a book i am reading:

In the bible the term "Christ" is not identical with Jesus, the individual. It is a technical term which may be briefly defined as the Absolute Spiritual Truth about anything. Whenever the Christ (that is the true idea about anything) is raised up in thought by anyone, healing follows--physical, moral or intellectual healing, as the case may be. The higher law of Spirit overrides or supersedes all the lower laws of physical and mental planes.

here is how i see it, to once have had a desire to find truth and stop because of your perception of other people and possibly their judgement on you was a huge disservice to yourself, once we take the focus off God and put it out there judging others or allowing them to rent space in our heads we are off the mark. there is happiness in spiritual life, life just gets easier its not about who is sleeping with who, it is about loving each other and if some dont get it and need to keep God in a little box then they have no clue of the capacity of the Creator, heck i believe God saw inside my heart and not on the outside appearances and gave me my beautiful tatoo'd radical Adam and we are a match. not by world standards but by spirtual standards. Dont give up on God, really He has never gave up on you. Its not about the buildings or the temples and never was, its about our hearts.

So, i guess not all Christians are alike, i dont want to be a clone of anyone and i really do consider myself born again, i love thinking i can be born again everyday in a attempt to try and get what Jesus did on earth, it was an amazing life and an amazing story that i claim now for my heritage, your heritage too, maybe you just need to find your own spiritual relationship so it makes sence to you, He will understand after all He made you. take care, rina

kittylane ... I am saved.. I know where I am going.. I do not like many "christians" yes bad taste in my mouth.

I do not need "christianity" to define my relationship with God and it is mostly because of "Christians" that I don't consider myself a christian... I am spiritual... I know where I am going.

swan i feel good knowing that on the deeper level you are ok, to me it is the biggest part of us, the spiritual side.

the Christians you speak of dont get the big picture, boy would they be surprized if Jesus walked the earth today, their judgmental attitudes would not fly. But you know for them they are trying and may only be quilty of popular opinion of what the churches want them to believe and for that my heart softens, so cool i get your point. so at the end of the day all that matters is how I relate to God, and that is really what i believe we are supposed to do anyway. kitty