Tips for Making Things a Little Easier

Here are some suggestions on things you and/or your partner can do to help ease the pain of being apart. I am going to try #5 soon.

1. Every night for a week write down 10 things you appreciate about him/her. By the end of the week you will have written over 70 things. Send the list to him/her in a romantic card.

2. When you’re with him/her again, before you leave give him/her a jar containing the same number of M&M's as days you will be away (if you know when you‘ll be back). Instruct him/her to eat just one a day in your absence.

3. Buy a box of chocolates. Under each chocolate place a short love note.

4. Make a list of 5 things you can do to be more unselfish in your relationship and then DO THEM!!!

5. Go on virtual dates together on the Internet. A few ideas include attending concerts, going to the zoo or museums.

6. Build a webpage just for the two of you. You can post love poems there or write notes there celebrating your accomplishments.

7. Buy a nice picture frame and send it to him/her with your picture in it. Write a special note to him/her on the back of the frame.

8. Have a calendar made with pictures of the two of you.

9. Buy her a teddy bear that when squeezed will repeat a personalized message in your voice.

10. Send a "chocolate attack" of one candy bar each day for a week.

11. Have a favorite photograph of the two of you made into a jigsaw puzzle. Send her a few pieces with every letter.

12. Send a "Heart Attack". Cut out heart shaped pieces of paper and write on them the things you appreciate about her. Place all the hearts in an envelope and send them to her.

13. Use a video camera to give him a "tour" of the place you live and the things you do during the day.

14. Share with him some of your goals for the next five years.

15. Write a letter as if you were stranded on a deserted island. Place the message in a bottle and send it to her.

16. Be the change you want to see in your relationship. Make a list of the things YOU can do to improve your relationship over the next year. Refer to it on a weekly basis.

17. Burn a CD of your favorite songs, or songs that will remind him/her of you.

18. Take a deck of playing cards and write a love note on the face of each one. There will be 52 cards when you’re done. One for each week of the year. Then when he/she is missing you, he/she can play solitaire with that deck of cards and will be reminded of you.

19. Buy a picture frame that will allow you to record your voice. Each time he/she looks at your picture, he/she can also hear your voice.

20. Paint a box (make sure it is non-toxic paint). Inside fill it with hugs and kisses candies. Then, whenever he/she is having a bad day missing you, he/she can open it out and get “hug and a kiss” from you.

I like the talking picture frame.... now if onlyI could get a decent picture to go into it!!

And I would like to add another suggestion: Read the same book together! :D

I think these suggestions are good for EVERY relationship...Im gonna try a couple with J. *winks*

Whiterose, I LOVE THIS FORUM!!! Thanks for starting it.

These are things Rick and I do:

1) We watch movies together, (a little hard when I am 2 hours ahead of him. lol) But what I mean is, when a movie comes on at his house that he has not seen before, I listen in and he turns it up loud so I can hear. We discuss things during the commercials. ITs kind of like listening to radio theater to me and I can use my imagination, rather fun actually.

2) I have a unlimited plan for long distance on my land phone. I like that better than using a cell phone because minutes start costing after a certain amount is used up on most of those plans, and right now I don't have a car phone, so I find the land phone to be easier for me with the unlimited long distance 24/7.

Rick works from his home and I do too. He does not have free long distance, so I call him, but he leaves me a code on his answering machine so I will know if he is there or not, and everyone else just hears the usual message....it is a slight tap twice if he is out and no tap if he isnt. No one notices it but me :)

SOOO, anyway, one way we keep in touch, is we call each other every night and tell each other the schedule we have for the next day. He sends me his work schedule and I send him mine, and then we always let each other know if that varies in any way. IT is fun to hear from him (he has long distance but not unlimited, so he calls some or emails me) that he is running to the store, be right back, etc. Feels like we are already together and we both know where and what each other is doing at all times. I call him about 6 times a day and we just chat.

3) We also have date nights, those are usually Sunday evenings since we are both off on Monday mornings.

4) AND another thing that Rick does for me, is he has an extra webcam he sets up on his porch and lets me watch him while he works in the yard!!! LOL He calls it his Rick live show, and he leaves it on all day so I can view when I want. He did that once at Christmas time and I got to watch he and a friend wrap presents....that was interesting, especially cause they didnt have any tape. LOL

this is a little risque but we have naughty dates sometimes via the telephone, it is wonderful, really wonderful and i never in my wildest dreams imagined i would even want to do anything like that. God, he is hot. after one of our dates i truly feel that we were together, i get the dumb looking smiley face..... we dont have web cam but we have our imagination, my baby is inspirational and hot, hot, hot.

I'm glad everyone's enjoying this forum. :)

We have been recording lots of stuff we do on the videocamera. I will take a little bit of his hair with me (his beard actually) and a t-shirt. I'll leave a lot of my stuff here, too.

Katrina, I will go look for a picture frame today for one of the pictures I brought to him! I had forgotten about little simple things like that.

Once I sent him a letter with tens of little hearts that I had made with one of those things that cut the paper in the shape you want. When he opened the letter all the light little hearts fell on his lap and all around him!

I send him boxes as often as I can. I will continue to do so. His mail box should be always full! I bought rubber stamps to make the letters more fun to read, too.

We have plans, lots of them and talking about them make us feel so close. Plans are good. I think we should put them into paper.

We also made a contract where we have impossible agreements like, if we have a fight and we are not talking to each other, he's the one responsible for kissing me, even if I don't want. This way his pride is not hurt because he's obliged by a contract, and I know I can't say no, because he's going to force me! We've used it once, but I had to remind him in the first place. ;)

I love the video idea, Maria. And, actually, my video of Remi from our trip in March is what is keeping me from going insane over missing him so much. I watch it at least every other day and have every word memorized. I still laugh at all the funny parts. I even managed to capture on film one discussion we had about the fact that I was getting tearful so much. This was on the last day there. That particular moment reminds me just how patient Remi is with me.

Kitty - I know what you mean about "naughty" dates. It's true that they somehow feel real and I'm glad that at least we have a way to "feel" physical together. Australia is a long, long way from here and without those dates occasionally, I think I'd lose my mind! (has anyone every gone crazy from lack of sex???)

It's funny how some of us think alike too. For Christmas, one of the presents I sent Addy was a little packet of hearts - seven of them, all made of different materials , one for each day of the week. He loved them!

Maria, I love the idea of the contract too. It's a good way to assure that someone has to give in first. It seems that the little "issues" we have can seem worse because we aren't face to face and because of that we let our imaginations get in the way of reality sometimes. I know that when I got a little tiffed at Addy, I didn't talk to him for a few days. He was busy and didn't even know I was upset .So there you go, I think a contract would have forced me to call him sooner and find out that there was no problem at all. I could have saved myself two days of doubts and worries.

Good idea about internet dates too. We do visit certain sites together - but doing it as a date to a specific place, seems more of a together time.

Thanks for all the good advise :cool:

Before Tim and I met in person the first time, I had him sleep in a t-shirt for 3 nights and then send it to me. That way I had his smell to cuddle to every night. I also knew from the smell that we would be physically compatible as well when we met.

We met and it was not as strange as it normally is when I meet a guy for the first time. I instantly felt comfortable around him and it was partly due to his t-shirt!

Now that we have been a couple since October 2003, that shirt means even more and I still keep it right at my pillow as I go to sleep. ;)

What a great idea, yellowrose! I thought about taking some of Remi's clothes home with me from our trip together in March. Wish I had now. I miss his smell, which was wonderful. :(

And Sunlover, I love the idea of the hearts for different days of the week. How sweet.

Jim and I use yahoo voice messenger daily. Though it's a little hit and miss - my connection cuts out frequently- it's good for constant contact and certainly saves on those transatlantic phone bills. All it needs is a mic. plugged into the p.c and finding your way through yahoo instructions. For technophobes like me, be prepared for hitches at first and many threats to chuck the pc out of the window! Msn have a similar service; free, too.

Dates online are a great idea. We play chess and draughts (checkers) and...er....he's introduced me to poker! Free poker, I hasten to add! We've explored Glasgow together online, but haven't yet got round to films, museums and art galleries. We will.

We've also got some literary tastes in common, so have explored some of those sites online and will be doing more.

Photos are a great idea. I took snaps of the interior of my house and of the garden and sent them to him.

I also sent a scarf of mine, which he insisted on wearing for a couple of days, much to his mother's consternation. It was loaded with my perfume!

We both bought webcams, but, strangely, haven't made much use of these - yet. At present, we both prefer talking.

If immigration is likely to be a possibility at some point, make sure to send cards/letters which are dated. I gather officialdom likes proof that the relationship is long-standing and serious.

I read in one site about this couple who would write everyday a line about their plans for the future. I find it fantastic!

She writes a line, sends to him, he'll send it back with another line added.

I guess it could go like this:

I want to build a nice house.
There would be lots of flowers around it.

and etc, etc.