special K
05-21-2004, 10:07 PM
Hey, all....
Just wanted to share a quirky, cool little thing that happened to me today. In a sentence -for those who don't know my story: I was in love with a ym for 3 1/2 years (me 47, him 22...got together when I was 43, him 18+), the social stigma of our relationship in our small town (especially with his small-minded family) was too much in the end...he walked in October of this year, and it was (is) a tough healing process because I considered him the love of my life (and he did me, so he said all those years).
fast forward...
In early March I saw him one last time to sign a document, things were uncomfortable, he was distant and dismissive. Haven't seen or talked to him since.
Today I was getting my hair highlighted and while my gal was rinsing out the color, the business phone rang. I heard the girl who answered it say, "OK, K (my ex's name), we'll see you at 1pm" ....it was 12:30! (we used to always get our hair cut at this place, sometimes at the same time...) I hurried my hairdresser along and got out of there by 12:55. Whew! In my rush, I forgot my favorite sunglasses. Hmmmmm....I sat in the car for about 15 minutes trying to figure out what to do, and realized that I couldn't let him alter my life in any way. If I hadn't heard that phone conversation, I would have immediately gone back to get those glasses and just run into him casually and naturally. I saw this as an opportunity to "face my fear" and just live my life as I needed to now.
I glanced in the mirror and looked really great with my new hair cut and color, manicure, and big smile with my familiar confidence and joy for life back after all these months. By golly, I went back there with a bounce in my step. Walked in the door, saw him in the chair, told my gal that I forgot my glasses, and when she went to get them for me I heard him say, "Hi, Karen". It was great because since it was a public forum, he had to be nice and upbeat (no more staring at the ground when he talked to me).
"Hey, K, How the heck are you?" Smile, grin, bouncy walk over to his chair where I bent over and hugged him. "Are you here to get that mullet you've always wanted?"
Everyone laughs, including K.
"Actually, this is 'ban the mullet week' and he's in here to get it cut off," said his hair lady.
We chat briefly, I have my hand lightly on his shoulder as we talk (he is completely covered with the smock-thing) just like I would have when we were friends before we were ever in love. It felt normal, not negative in any way. After about 2 minutes, I got my glasses, thanked my gal again for the great job on my hair, said goodbye to K, and walked out..thinking (lightheartedly, of course) "eat your heart out." No more cowardice here
;)
Oh, and, I'm leaving for a 3 day trip to Las Vegas on Monday with a sweet ym (32) who has become a dear friend in the past few months...just friends, and I love it that way, actually. I'm in no hurry. Healing was so arduous I just want to feel single for a while, and relish it!
Shoot, I really wished Candi (my hair gal) would have called after me on the way out, "Oh, and have fun in Vegas with that great guy, Karen!" :D
Oh well, can't ask for everything, I guess.
Hugs to all of you wonderful people.
Karen
Just wanted to share a quirky, cool little thing that happened to me today. In a sentence -for those who don't know my story: I was in love with a ym for 3 1/2 years (me 47, him 22...got together when I was 43, him 18+), the social stigma of our relationship in our small town (especially with his small-minded family) was too much in the end...he walked in October of this year, and it was (is) a tough healing process because I considered him the love of my life (and he did me, so he said all those years).
fast forward...
In early March I saw him one last time to sign a document, things were uncomfortable, he was distant and dismissive. Haven't seen or talked to him since.
Today I was getting my hair highlighted and while my gal was rinsing out the color, the business phone rang. I heard the girl who answered it say, "OK, K (my ex's name), we'll see you at 1pm" ....it was 12:30! (we used to always get our hair cut at this place, sometimes at the same time...) I hurried my hairdresser along and got out of there by 12:55. Whew! In my rush, I forgot my favorite sunglasses. Hmmmmm....I sat in the car for about 15 minutes trying to figure out what to do, and realized that I couldn't let him alter my life in any way. If I hadn't heard that phone conversation, I would have immediately gone back to get those glasses and just run into him casually and naturally. I saw this as an opportunity to "face my fear" and just live my life as I needed to now.
I glanced in the mirror and looked really great with my new hair cut and color, manicure, and big smile with my familiar confidence and joy for life back after all these months. By golly, I went back there with a bounce in my step. Walked in the door, saw him in the chair, told my gal that I forgot my glasses, and when she went to get them for me I heard him say, "Hi, Karen". It was great because since it was a public forum, he had to be nice and upbeat (no more staring at the ground when he talked to me).
"Hey, K, How the heck are you?" Smile, grin, bouncy walk over to his chair where I bent over and hugged him. "Are you here to get that mullet you've always wanted?"
Everyone laughs, including K.
"Actually, this is 'ban the mullet week' and he's in here to get it cut off," said his hair lady.
We chat briefly, I have my hand lightly on his shoulder as we talk (he is completely covered with the smock-thing) just like I would have when we were friends before we were ever in love. It felt normal, not negative in any way. After about 2 minutes, I got my glasses, thanked my gal again for the great job on my hair, said goodbye to K, and walked out..thinking (lightheartedly, of course) "eat your heart out." No more cowardice here
;)
Oh, and, I'm leaving for a 3 day trip to Las Vegas on Monday with a sweet ym (32) who has become a dear friend in the past few months...just friends, and I love it that way, actually. I'm in no hurry. Healing was so arduous I just want to feel single for a while, and relish it!
Shoot, I really wished Candi (my hair gal) would have called after me on the way out, "Oh, and have fun in Vegas with that great guy, Karen!" :D
Oh well, can't ask for everything, I guess.
Hugs to all of you wonderful people.
Karen