For the people with kids in their 20's

How would you feel if your son or daughter started dating someone older than them? By at least 10 years or more?

I have a daughter...and society accepts the older man..younger woman situation....but is just now accepting the older woman ..younger man relationships...

I have a daughter who is 27. Personally, I wouldn't care what age, how many years older (or younger) color or creed she dated as long as he treated her with the love and respect that she deserves.

That's my answer to you. Period.

And a very good answer it is too bubbleee! :D I agree completely.

That's my answer to you. Period

And a hostile reply at that! I was only asking a question....nothing more...nothing less...no need to be so defensive...

My son is 28. A couple of years ago, he dated a 40-year-old woman for a while. It was fine with me. I never met her, but I would be more concerned with her quality as a person than her age.

I have a 31-year-old son who has been in relationships with older women for many years. He had one girlfriend who was in her forties when he was in his early twenties. He's been with his current girlfriend for about 6 or 7 years. She's about 7 or 8 years older than he is. They don't have a huge age gap, but I would definately accept it if they did.

I have an 18-year-old son who is gay. I was pretty shocked when he first came and told us. I kept telling him that maybe he was going through a phase and would "turn straight again" (he laughed at me when I used to say that). Straight or gay, I love him and just want him to be happy.

My sister was married to an African American man. He took care of her through several years of grueling, painful cancer treatments and stayed by her side until the day she passed away.

My mother was a Catholic who married a Jew (my father); he treated her like a queen (I am not exaggerating) until the day he died. They were totally and completely in love with each other and were married for 49 years.

Love is love. People should be able to love whomever they want to love.

Love is love. People should be able to love whomever they want to love.

I'm a firm believer that no one can pick who they love...love just happens.

I never thought I'd fall in love with a man 11 years younger than me..(he was 27 and I was 38 when we got together)...but it happened.....matter of fact...I have more problems with our ages than he does......or so he says....when we are out in public together...the mall etc...he holds my hand..and will kiss me...yet one time when we were looking at cars...when the salesman asked him why he was looking at cars in PA (where I live) rather than MD (where he lives)..he told the salesman that he is in the area a lot as he has friends here......why couldn't he just say that his g/f lived in the area? Was he ashamed of me?

When he was in the show room ...for some odd reason the salesman asked what our relationship was...I told him ....that he was my b/f.....I then told my b/f..who in turn told me that the salesman asked him the same question but he said he told him we were just friends....

Hey Yruon

Didn't mean to sound snippy, my apologies to you!

I just am so over all this ageism stuff I guess. My one daughter is with a guy her age and he's alright, but she could do FAR better in the love and respect department. My other daughter is with someone her age who is a control freak and puts her down.

My bf's father is an abuse case and verbally abuses his mom. They are the same age as well.

I guess I've seen alot of relationships that are close in age that just aren't that good, you know? So I'm getting to the point that I hardly care about age anymore and who my daughters date. I just hope that they find someone of quality who loves them and helps them find their dreams.

By the way, I'm 30 years older than my bf. Everybody thinks I'm his mom and neither of us care, lol.

Originally posted by yruon
How would you feel if your son or daughter started dating someone older than them? By at least 10 years or more?

Wouldn't matter to me as long as she is a person of good character who treats him with love and respect.

Originally posted by yruon
And a hostile reply at that! I was only asking a question....nothing more...nothing less...no need to be so defensive...

Hmmm . . . I didn't view it as hostile at all . . . I was laughing as I viewed it as the old saying: That's my answer and I'm stickin' to it. :D

yruon, welcome to the board! :D

Sometimes those of us who have been on the board for a while forget that the new ones don't know how we kid and snip at each other -- all in good fun most of the time. I honestly don't think bubbleee was trying to be hostile with you. I don't remember having seen her be that way with new members.

Hmmm . . . I didn't view it as hostile at all . . . I was laughing as I viewed it as the old saying: That's my answer and I'm stickin' to it.

That was EXACTLY it!

LOL

All good answers,realy liked Whiterose's.It all depends on the person,how they treat each other,and love each other.
My parents never realy had problem with me dating OW.Or as I like to say a"M.M.W.",More Muture Woman.To me they offer so,much more than their younger counterparts.
Now don't get me wrong,do have plenty of younger ladyfriends,but just can't contact to them. Always went for the M.M.W.,cause of personal reasons.


Michael

whisper: I really liked your post. Inspiring... :)

yruon: My daughter is still too young to date (she's 7) but I can say without reservations that I will never object to any relationship she may have with a man (or woman for that matter) who treats her with the love and respect that every human being, including herself, deserves.

Hi yruon and welcome to ageless.

To answer your question, I've said this many times on this board. As a Mom, all I can hope for is someone who makes my children happy, who treats them with love and respect - regardless of their age.

If my 21 year old son introduced me to his 31 year old girlfriend (or 41 for that matter) I wouldnt be upset. But I've just never had a problem with people's ages anyway. And when my daughter gets old enough to date, I'll feel the same toward the person she chooses to share her life with. And I'm not being defensive, just hones here, so I have to repeat what bubblee said - I just want my children to be happy, loved and treated with respect. Period ;) No strings attached.

Southerngal

Originally posted by Nessa
OMG I want to be Melodee if i ever grow up.

said this perfectly. I concur 100, 000 %
Lol, thank you, Nessa. You don't want to me me when you grow up, though. My life is very stressful! I am glad, though, that my parents raised me to value and place open-mindedness (is it a word?) over and above everything else. I like the way I am :)

Originally posted by yruon


When he was in the show room ...for some odd reason the salesman asked what our relationship was...I told him ....that he was my b/f.....I then told my b/f..who in turn told me that the salesman asked him the same question but he said he told him we were just friends....
Oh, how embarrassing, and that must have hurt you badly!

I remember two years ago when Jeremy and I were looking at new cars to buy. The salesman asked what our relationship was. I wanted to crawl under the chair and hide (we hadn't been together as long, and I wasn't as used to telling people). Jeremy said, *proudly*, "We're married." The salesman smiled a big smile and kept making comments about it throughout the sale; they weren't negative comments, though.

Jeremy has a *much* easier time than I do telling people about our relationship and age difference. I still get embarrassed. I keep hearing in my head, "Cradle robber! Cradle robber!" That's ridiculous, I know.:rolleyes:

Yourn, I think that your boyfriend might change the way he responds to others later on when he's more used to your relationship and the age difference between you. I'd give him some time, but I'd talk to him about how it makes you feel. Jeremy talks to me about how I need to get over my embarrassment.

I'm open minded about everybody else except myself:rolleyes: lol

My b/f was at the hospital yesterday (No worries - he's well now, thank goodness.) One of the nurses had seen us holding each other in the waiting area and asked him at some point, while he was already inside about to be examined, if he wanted hsi girlfriend to come into the patient area with him. He said "sure." So there I am with him when a female doctor walks in. She looks at me and asks, what is your relationship to him? "I'm his girlfriend" I said. I could see the "hmm" look on her face as she asked it again. I said it once more, finding it humurous that she "didn't get it" the first time. ;)

When I was an EMT we were sometimes told ONLY
family members could come into the emergency
room with their patient so sometimes I would
try to prompt people to say something other
than boyfriend/girlfriend since we weren't really
supposed to let them in. I hope I never made
anyone think I was questioning the validity of
their relationship!!

I did have a problem when my daughter wanted to date an older man.... simply because she was still in high school and he was in his thirties.... life stages tooo far apart in my opinion. And knowing my daughter as I do, I cannot claim that she was "more mature" for her age at all. She liked what he could "buy" her and I was afraid that this was not healthy for either of them. I also felt that he wanted "one thing from her" as her friend was dating his friend (that's how they met) and she (her friend) got pregnant. Luckily she listened to me after I ranted and almost had to ground her as I once caught her going over to his house for this "little flirtation" lasted only a few weeks. Now that she is 25, she still prefers older men, and I no longer care, as she is now in the adult life stage. And what is weird, is that her dates are often older than mine are!! :rolleyes:

Opps I forgot my boys! I would not care if they dated an older woman...but I would get really pissy if an older one wanted one for her "boy toy"... which one "rich beotch" wanted with my younger one (he was 19 but looked 25 at the time) as she tried to pick him up at a Magic game...but my older one told me "Don't worry mom, I saved him!"