Moving far away from him :(

I was going to journal this (journaling always helps me at times like this) and then I said to myself, why not put it out there and share it with my friends at Ageless? Here I am, ready to open my heart to you, and just as ready and open to receive your feedback.

This coming Monday (5/31), I’m moving from San Diego to northern California, somewhere between San Jose-San Francisco. I will stay a few weeks in L.A. to take care of some things, but then I’ll be heading up north, hours and hours away from the man I love. It’s been a hard decision on one level and an easy one on another.
Why am I moving up there? Well, that is where my daughter is. You see, last year my daughter asked me to go live with her dad for the first time. Since my ex and I split up - very amicably I may add - she had lived primarily with me. Back then, we were practically neighbors, so the distance wasn't an issue. Eventually, he got transferred north - that was 2 years ago. I guess being at an age where the father is so critical to little girls, she wanted to be closer to her dad. He is a good friend and a great dad, and there is no way in hell, no matter how much I love and would like to be with her, that I could have said no. (Yes, I do follow what I preach: When you love someone, you have to set them free and let them experience other things and be with other people.)
Soon after she had moved in with her dad and step-mom, she told me she wanted to come back to live with me after school was done. Well, in the months that she's been there, she’s grown naturally a lot closer to her dad and also built a really strong bond with her half-brother. I couldn’t find it in my heart to bring her back down here, like nothing happened, and take her away from them. Things had changed, and I had to adjust. I couldn’t take her away from people she loves. (Before I proceed, let me just say that my ex was and is willing to move back to Southern California, but he can’t do it right now. He works for the state government and the department he works for has put a freeze on all transfers. Thanks to the budget cuts.)
My move was decided on a few months ago. Jimmy (my b/f) has been extremely supportive of my decision. He fully understands how much my daughter and her well-being mean to me. He is in tune with all that is going on and although it was hard for him to let me go, he did it - and he did it graciously. He never once complained or whined about it; he never questioned it. All he has done is shown me love, support and continuous reassurance that this will be a learning experience that will only strengthen and not hurt our relationship in any way, shape or form. Since he is in the middle of his college education down here and unprepared to move, he promises to visit at every opportunity he has.
Although I don’t doubt that he will visit - I will too - and I know that we have enough connection to sustain such a change in proximity, I can’t help but be sad. I will miss him terribly. Right now we live 5 minutes away from each other. This is the way it has been for the last 2 years - since before we started dating. He’s a huge part of my life - my daily life.
Like I said, this is just a public version of my journal, so to speak. There isn’t necessarily a point that I’m really trying to get at or anything. I’m not even writing very carefully. I have tears coming down my face and I can barely see the monitor... I just wanted to jot down my thoughts and feelings on this and share them with you.
I know some of you have or have had long distance relationships with your ym. Anything you can share with me, please? Although I know intuitively that things will be alright, and I don't worry about the relationship itself suffering, I do worry about missing him so much. The sadness that I feel this very moment is blinding me, I suppose... I can't think too straight.
Thank you so much for listening… I really really appreciate it.

Love,

~Eliana (aka Elle)

Hi Elle,

You must be going through all kinds of emotions right now. Joy that you'll be living near your daughter and sadness that you're moving away from your b/f. But, it takes a strong woman to make such a decision. Just remember that.

So, you'll now be in a long distance relationship, huh? You'll have to come join us over in the Long Distance Relationship forum. My fiance lives 5500 miles away from me, so I know full well the heartache that distance brings. But, I bet you two will be able to spend some time together periodically since you'll be a few hours away from each other. It sounds like he is as committed to your relationship as you, which is definitely key in a LDR.

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. :)

Good luck with everything Elle! I believe that such an unselfish and loving decision can't help but be rewarded by the universe. I'm sure that things will work out fine in the long run. ~hugs~

Eliana, não chora!

I am a firm believer that everything that happens in our lives, happens for our own good. I don't go around looking for trouble, but if I have to go through something difficult, I know it's because there's something there for me to learn from.

I was not looking for a LDR, and many times I wrote here that I wouldn't get into one. Some nice guys from Ageless know that, I always told them that this kind of relationship was not for me... well, I had to bite my tongue once I met Jason. He was just everything I wanted from a man, and the more I get to know him, the more I am sure it's him and that fighting distance is worth it. I would do anything to stay with him, anything!

If this is how life will be for you, take it graciously and do all you can to keep in close contact with your boyfriend. You'll be able to visit each other and make it work. Join us at the LDR forum, we try to encourage each other as much as we can!

Your "journal" entry says so much about you. ..The first weeks are truly the most difficult. Devastating at times..but we pick ourselves up, and brush ourselves off and keep moving forward.
In a odd way it does make the relationship stronger. Us as women stronger. People in LDRS never take anything for granted and grow together on a deeper level as a result of the long distant struggle. We look for the light at the end of the tunnel and work towards the day when we will be together for always. 3000 miles and two years later I can say it has been a struggle but I wouldn't give up a moment of it as it has brought me more happiness then I could possibly imagine!

Joi

Thank you whiterose, Inahnia, Maria, Joi and babes for your compassion. Your kind words of encouragement and support have touched me in more ways than I could tell you. And just to be silly, but also real: "may the force be with you." :) (Yes, I do have a smile on my face now. Thank YOU!)

Wow,

How interesting your story is.

My mom and dad divorced when I was about 4 or 5 I guess. My dad stayed in Chicago and my mom moved to California when I was about 6 or 7. My two brothers stayed with my dad and I went with my mom.

She was working and going to school, so I didn't see her much. I was lonely and I wanted to be with my dad and my brothers. My mom cried and cried and cried but she let me go. I moved away from her to be with them and she said exactly what you said on the issue...

...and there is no way in hell, no matter how much I love and would like to be with her, that I could have said no. (Yes, I do follow what I preach: When you love someone, you have to set them free and let them experience other things and be with other people.)

Because she was in California I didn't get to see her much. We were def. kind of estranged even though us kids did spend a month with her every year.

My dad is very religious (he joined the Jehovahs Witnesses after him and my mother divorced) and so when I hit my teens I wanted to be athletic, have friends, do "normal" stuff and he wouldn't allow it. I couldn't join track even though I was the fastest sprinter in our school, the only way I could bring friends over is if I studied the bible with them (what 16 year old would freaking do that?) etc... so I was abandoned by my athlete friends as they moved forward on the team and I was left behind. I started hanging out with the stoners who didn't give a Sh!t about anything because quite frankly I didn't either. I then ran away. They found me two weeks later at a friends house, and I was shipped to California to live with my mom. My dad said he wasn't dealing with that in his home. Ironically to this day, he still can't see that he CAUSED the problem.

It was horrible when I got to California. My mom was drinking a lot and never home much. I had no respect for her and had a horrible attitude, chip on my shoulder. I did what I wanted, when I wanted putting myself on a serious path to destruction.

I moved out of her house when I was 17 and she was glad to be rid of me. From there I became pregnant and moved to Oregon. I have been here ever since 1990 and have lived a pretty decent life. I have been without any family for the most part and struggled with my personal relationships but I wanted so much to do right by my son.

His father and I are very close to this day and I vowed that I would not split up our family. I am getting laid off from my job on June 4th and have had job offers but they are out of state (good jobs too!). So, I turned them down because I'm keeping my promise about keeping us close together. That is very important to me and in 4 years my son will be in college and if I need and or want to move - then I can.

My father hasn't talked to me more than 4 times since I was 16. 2 of those times I actually saw him, it was very very uncomfortable and he has made it pretty clear that he has no interest in communicating with me.

My mother and I have become the best of friends over these years. We talk ALL the time and I love her dearly. We have discussed my childhood and she has cried over her decision to move across the country -- not staying by us kids in Chicago. She regrets a lot of decisions she had made, much like I regret a lot of decisions I have made too. In both of us seeking to understand all that has happened our relationship grew again and I could not be happier with my relationship with her.

I know that because of her decision she made many years ago to live across country, I WILL steadfastly stay put so that my son can have both parents in his life as he grows up. The way my mom and dad did it, absolutely did not work.

_______________________

Anyway, that was really really long winded but I just wanted to tell you that your decision is a noble one and I think without a doubt you are doing the right thing.

I don't know anything about LDR's but I do know that you are brave, your man is brave, and I hope sincerely that all works out well for you.

Blondie, First Love, Trish and everybody else who has responded to this thread: Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart. <3

What takes place in these forums involves so much compassion, understanding - or at least a willingness to understand - support, acceptance and all of those beautiful things that true love is made of. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I sincerely appreciate your support.

As the weekend approaches, I get a little more nervous. I have all sort of mixed emotions and although I'm concious of that and why it's happening, it still affects me. The nervousness not only stems from the fact that I'm leaving Jimmy behind here in San Diego, but also from all the other changes taking place in my life at this time. As I mentioned elsewhere, I very recently quit a long, mostly unhappy career in IT in order to pursue my passion. I am currently in the process of interviewing with graduate schools up north with ambitions of pursuing a degree in Psychology (I got my B.A. in Psych back in 1996). Although this is something that I've wanted to do for a long time, it is a huge change economically and in many other ways. To top it all off, I'm moving to an area where I've never lived before. What comforts me is: the support I get from Jimmy, friends and family; the idea that soon I don't have to either put my daugther on a plane or have my ex or I get on a plane to see her; and then there is you guys. I am blessed. I am sooo blessed. (I'm also impressed at how well I'm actually managing it. *pat on the back* ;))

Now going back to my thank yous, I just know it in my heart that what I have found here is a gift from above. I graciously embrace it and extend to you my deepest love and appreciation.

::hugs::

There's no way in hell I'd move to be closer to my ex - I'm doing everything in my power to get the hell away from him.

Call me old fashioined, but I believe a child belongs with their mother. The mother shouldn't have to pack up and move just because the child chooses to leave their surroundings for what they feel are "greener pastures".

Originally posted by molly
There's no way in hell I'd move to be closer to my ex - I'm doing everything in my power to get the hell away from him.

Call me old fashioined, but I believe a child belongs with their mother. The mother shouldn't have to pack up and move just because the child chooses to leave their surroundings for what they feel are "greener pastures".

I can relate, but I'm just assuming that everyone's ex- isn't the deadbeat, jackazz mine is.

And just as I spoke of love...

Molly: I'm sorry you have such a horrible relationship with your ex-husband. I'm also sorry that you believe in the preconceived idea that a marriage has to end in bad terms or that one must have a bad relationship with a former spouse (perhaps to justify a divorce?). I don't believe in such things and I'm glad that they don't apply to me.
I love my ex-husband as a human being and he loves me just the same. I am very happy that that's the case. Not only am I happy for my daughter, that her parents care about each other although they are not together together, I'm also happy for us. By then we had spent nearly 12 years of our fairly young lives together. To toss all of that out as if it meant nothing just didn't fit our situation. If you are able to grasp this concept, our divorced was also the product of love. We wanted to preserve what we still had - friendship - and we did.
My ex-husband is by no means perfect and I wouldn't marry him again, however, he is a good person. Also, and more importantly, he is an amazing parent. Although I agree with you that a child belongs with her mother, I would like to add that a child belongs with her father and all people in the world that show her the love and the respect that she so well deserves. I know my daughter because I listen. She didn't go for "greener pastures". She went for a different taste of love and, yes, I happily gave the gift of freedom to her so she could experience it. Was it easy? Was it always a piece of cake? No. But, I can see how much she's learned, how much she's grown and not even for a split second do I question the support I gave her in that regard.
Just so you know - not that I care whether you approve of what I do or not... it's your life, your head - she will be living with me. I am a wonderful mother and not to brag or sound conceited, I do wish most of the mothers I know had half the love for their child as I have for mine. The person who matters the most in that area of my life - my daughter, of course - is beautiful. Despite her very young age, she has learned to reassure me of what I already believe in. She tells me from the heart, and not to simply suck up, that I am the best mother she could have ever asked for. And I believe her.

Marcy: you're right, he's not. :D

Evidently your ex never beat the crap out of you. Believe me, I would have loved to have an amicable divorce but I was kind of busy running for my life at the time. Thankfully, at the moment, his behavior is under control thanks to the judge, but I'm sure that's temporary, usually is. Honestly, I don't know anybody that's on great terms with their ex, seriously, you're the first.

Originally posted by molly
Honestly, I don't know anybody that's on great terms with their ex, seriously, you're the first.

Yes, I know it's rare and I find myself explaing how it works more than anything because people don't get it, are curious or both. I do know a few other couples that have maintained a very healthy friendship after their divorce. Some examples are very close to me: my ex-husband's parents and my current boyfriend's parents. Jimmy's parents have been divorced for about 10 years. His dad still comes over for her birthday parties, they still spend holidays together - with their current significant others present - and his mom is still as close to her in-laws as she was when they were married. It's beautiful. That is actually another great thing about Jimmy. He fully understands my relationship with my ex and never ever not even got close to tripping on jealousy or insecurities. On the contrary, he really likes my ex -and my ex really likes him, too. Oh well, let's just say we're odd. But gawd, do I love being odd!

LOL Spoken like a true Californian!! ;)

First, Elle, let me tell you how sorry I am for what you're going through, and facing a LDR. As others have expressed, I tend to believe that your emotional sacrifice now will be repaid with happiness in the future. Regardless, you are making a decision in the best interest of someone you care about -- the finest of motives.

I am another one who has remained close to an ex -- in my case, an ex-b/f that I lived with for several years. However, we have no child together that would maintain our tie to one other. Yet he is my closest, most trusted friend. He has looked after my house (and my dogs! :eek: ) when I've gone on trips, and moved in to look after me following major surgery. I have trusted him to repay substantial amounts of money that I've loaned him. Our romantic relationship lasted about 4 years, and ended almost 14 years ago -- we have now been friends for more than three times as long as we were lovers.

Yes, people find it very odd that we have this close friendship bond. But I'm not going to throw away one of the most valued relationships in my life because of what others think. ;)

Molly~

I get along great with my ex-husband and even a couple ex-bf's. My ex-husband and I are good friends and I have been to all three of his weddings!:p I was the first.

However, we haven't always been on good terms. He was physically abusive when we were married and an alcoholic. He cheated on me as well. We have been divorced since 1989 before our daughter was even 2. It took a few years for us to get on good terms. He became very involved in church and now he even preaches part-time. He truly changed himself and that made all the difference. I forgave him a long time ago and now have nothing but love for him, platonic that is.

Now I don't know what I would do without him. She is 16 and driving me beserk, lol. He really is a huge help with her and we are in sync on discipline and everything. I get along well with his wife too and I also got along well with the second wife, in fact I used to cut all of their hair, if you can believe that.

I have been on friendly terms with all my exes, in fact I can't think of one that I have an ill feeling about. I think that forgiveness comes with time and with much soul-searching, but not for everyone. Even if you can't be on friendly terms with an ex, at least try to forgive, otherwise it can poison you.:(

Hi Elle, glad you are feeling better. I love being odd too, esp. in relation to family and parenting. My ex and i decided to share the kids half half, he gets them on wednesday and i get them back on the weekend, all of which is amicable and changeable and fairly supportive. Luckily he doesn't live too far away, ten minutes, so it does make it easier, but when we split he moved 300kms to be with us and continue to play an active parenting role. Sure he has issues, he is a pot smoker extraordinaire, he is lazy etc etc but he works, coaches my son's soccer team, has helped me through the difficult "16 -17" period of our daughter's life, we all celebrate birthdays, pet deaths etc together, he gets on well with Daniel, in fact with all my previous partners and he lives his own life like I live mine. it is possible to do it, but it takes committment, hard work and a rememberance of the love you once had as a touchstone when things get rough, as they invariably do when you are extended family. Elle I hope you have an easy transition and the love that surrounds you also sustains you. Give yourself and Jimmy some time to adjust, you have a wise head on your shoulders and a beautiful relationship with yr child, yr ex and yr lover. Listening to you describe your daughter made me think of my relationship with mine, she is my soulmate and we have similar conversations about life the universe and everything. the other day i was bemoaning my parenting (some stupid "mistake" I thought i'd made) and she just walked straight up and hugged me and said we all love you so much yr the best. even my friends think so. Take care chez

I also have an excellent relationship with my ex. We are really good friends and count on each other. :)

My ex and I were not good for the first couple years and then we worked it all out. We have been very close for almost 11 years now.

He is in an age gap relationship (she is 14 years his junior, I think) and they are having a baby. I'm excited for them!

They spend the night here sometimes, or I will stay there. We always spend all major holidays together which is cool.

He loves our son. That's enough for me! LoL
:-)

Wow, Elle...

I might be a bit slow, Elle, so please forgive my questions.......

I'm still trying to grasp the situation you're in...I read your message twice, slowly, and i still couldn't work out why you are moving exactly.

How often you see your daughter now, and how often will you see her when you move to her town? I am guessing that you expect to see her an awful lot when you move, to justify the massive sacrifice you're making. Will you see her daily, weekly, whenever the other couple need a baby sitter? Just wondering.

Also, if your ex and his new partner are acting as terrific parents to your daughter already, could it possibly be a bit intrusive for your ex's new partner to have you around all the time performing the same role as her? It sounds like a confusing, possibly highly competitive situation....two mothers with different ideas about mothering, discipline, and all the duties associated with that role. Not to mention the way kids can play off two competing parents against each other. Just sounds...well...messy.....

Finally, I am wondering what are you trying to gain by moving? Is it more influence over your daughter, possible custody, daily access....?

I hope you will accomplish whatever it is you're hoping to achieve...

Poor Elle! I am really sorry for you having to be separated from your guy.

About 5 years ago, my boyfriend at the time moved back to his native country, Mexico. I was devastated. From then on, we had to commute back and forth. I broke up with him after a couple of years, though. He was cheating on me and lying about some other issues. I am not sure that he wouldn't have cheated on me if he had stayed in my area, so I am not suggesting that it will happen to you, but just that I understand your pain.

I live just north of San Francisco. It will be good to have you around here. Hopefully, you will live in a warm area and not in the fog belt like I do!

My previous boyfriend lived in Los Angeles. We would sometimes meet halfway around San Luis Obispo. The 4-hour drive down there from here is beautiful and that area is a wonderful place for romantic weekends. So, if you guys can't afford to fly, you can consider driving.


Stay strong!

Sorry to break your mold, Molly, but I am from California and never speak to my exes after we break up. :)

*shrug* To each their own, I guess. . .

Originally posted by molly
*shrug* To each their own, I guess. . .
Well, I do live in California...

My ex, my current husband, and I all moved to Phoenix from Northern California at the same time so that our children would have the benefit of being close to both of their biological parents. I give my ex credit for being willing to do that! It's working out well.

Okay, reading back through these posts I think my joking about Californians was not understood. Elle was talking about being kookie or something for getting along with her ex, I said spoken like a true Californian - I was referring to the whole "Californians march to their own drum" thing, you know, the whole "live and let live" thing?? Well, at least that's what it was like when I lived in Glendale. . .lol

Hiya Elle,

I don't have kids, but if I did, I'd want to be a Mom just like you :>

I gotta believe that if you do the right things for the right reasons, that you will be rewarded and I think that's the case here.

Psychology is good, being there for your daughter is good, and having a guy who can understand a decision like this is very good.

As a Northern Californian for 18 of the last 19 years, I can tell you it's a beautiful and stimulating place to live and I'm sure you'll find things here to enjoy.

And it's really not so far to Southern California - you two will find a way if you both really want to.

Yoir daughter is lucky to have such a caring, empathetic mom and two parents who will work together for her happiness. Most kids don't have it so good.

I'm sure it'll be hard for a while, but really, congratulations on the big move!

Elle, you are a smart one, I wish more fathers would think like you do and want to be closer to their children.
My ex moved a state away he rarely sees his son, I meet him halfway, the dad misses out on so much everyday things, like school plays, baseball, emergency room trips :( (we had one last night, my son fell down on wood the park department left laying in a pile while rebuilding the skateboard park. Son was trying to catch a bball and split his head open, 4 staples and a cat scan and he is fine, he is in pain and I feel it too. I was on the phone with his father the whole time, but it was my BF Will (Kingoficily29 on here} that made the ambulance trip with us and he was there every step of the way.
See, my ex met a YW who he now lives with in her hometown, and she refuses to ever move elsewhere, it is a very long drive so I can have son and his dad see each other.
The ex and I get along very well now, and we do talk daily on the phone.
But I tell you what, If my son ever decided to move with his father (my older son did it and just moved back here) I would be as close as I could be to him.
Kids need Moms and Dads.
PS I am very good friends with both of my childrens Dads, we have great communications and conversations. It's very important.
It took a bit to get to that point, but it's great now.
Hugzzz
~Tammy

To the new posters, Savannah, 1love, FreeSpirit, Bella_D, Trish, Serendipity, whisper, Desert Spring and SnowPrincess: Thank you so very much for your kind words and your support. I never doubted that my decision was the right one, however, when your heart aches, it's great to hear that there are people out there who also believe "you can do it", that type of thing. TY TY TY <3

Bella_D: Good questions. Here's my reply...

Since she's moved with dad, I've been seeing her at least every other week, sometimes more. Sometimes she would fly down and stay with me, and sometimes I would fly up and stay with them. She stayed with me during school breaks, and I spents some short vacations up there with them as well when I would go to school with her (volunteered to help her teacher, helped with her school play, etc.) and on short little trips in the Monterey, Carmel area.
My ex-husband and I have joint physical and legal custody of my daughter. As I said, my divorce was very amicable and custody couldn't have been any different. We both have access to her at all times so I don't *have* to move up there to be with her. She wants and can live with me down here, no problem. I am moving up there, however, because she loves her father and her little brother, and being closer to them will be healthier for her than otherwise in MY point of view. I don't have family down here. They are her family. So why not adjust?
I never said my ex AND his wife were great parents. If you read carefully, I said my ex-husband is a great parent. :) Also, I never said she had built a strong bond with her step-mom, she has that with her little brother. So although I believe that she needs her dad around, she doesn't have to live with him and her step-mom to accomplish that. Being closer is all I want.
By the way, just to give you a little background... before my ex was transferred to No. Cali., he was literally my neighbor. We're not going to be neighbors this time but we'll be close enough.
So to answer your question in a nutshell, I'm moving because I want to be part of my daughter's daily life and I want her dad to be able to do the same.

:)

Welcome to ageless! I have enjoyed reading your posts very much.

My youngest daughter is 18 and I don't have any child custody issues but I understand what you think and how you feel about being close to her. From a mom's perspective is makes all the sense in the world, doesn't it?

LDRs are really, really hard in practice although they sound really good in theory. I am coming off of one FINALLY after about a year and a half and it's really harder than I ever could have imagined. The last few weeks have been about the hardest times we've both had. Maybe we're just too close to the end of the distance, you know?

I really admire how you've taken on the challenge. Most of us are stuck in these LDR's because of family, work or school commitments. If you can somehow bring it "together" at some point, I'd surely hope it could happen for you.

Good luck on all of this! And, or course, we are here if you need us.

Thank you, bubbleee. I'm sorry you've been having a tough time recently. :-( What is making it specially hard to deal with recently?

You know I really really hope the distance between Jimmy and I won't be "the end of the world." From what I hear, LDR's can be rather difficult... and I guess all we can do is try our best to make the transition a gracious one... and then take one day at a time. We anticipate being away like this for about 2 years. It could be much less or it could be forever before we are close again. Who knows? I don't hold the answer to that so I'll try to focus on things that I do know, like the fact that I will be happy for being close to my daughter again and he's doing the right thing for staying here to finish school and accomplish a few other things.

Thank you soooo very much for all of your support. It means a lot to me and I'm very very grateful for all of it. :)

::hugs::

Aww Kelley, thank you. What you said is very positive and inspiring. I really like the idea that this may only strenghten our relationship. I'll stick with that thought. :) ::hug::

PS: I visited your guys' website by the way. I've one word for ya: CUTE!

Elle! Is that you and your daughter?
Great avatar, but are you blonde or brown hair?!
:D

Originally posted by Serendipity
Elle! Is that you and your daughter?
Great avatar, but are you blonde or brown hair?!
:D

THanks! Yeah, that's me and my daughter. My hair is naturally brown.

The blond hair you saw in more recent pictures was a f**k-up on the hairdresser's part. I said I wanted *highlights* and ended up leaving the salon practically blonde. I've touched the roots only once and I'm letting it grow out now. I've got baby-thin hair... it damaged it a LOT.

Wow, Elle...what a stunner you are!

Sorry to sound so daft. I don't have children so I really can't begin to offer any opinions about your situation. You just seem so......selfless and wise!!! It amazes me the kinds of decisions people will make for their children; I'm sure these decisions will mean the world to your little girl.

I just wanted to say I'm very sorry that you won't be close to your lover. How long till he finishes college?

LDR are tough, you better be prepared for missing him like crazy! It takes courage, resistence, lots of committment and the ability to deal with suffering and loneliness.

It's not for everybody, it's a tough test, but when I see Kelley and so many other couples that went through it and made it, I just believe we can also do it.

We are here for you anyway!

Hey everyone:

First off I would just like to say thank you for all the support you have given Elle. She appreciates it so increadibly much.

And now its my turn to post.
I am jimmy. And Elle is the love of my life. In the 3 years that i have known her she has given me so much that i am thankful for and I have grown as a person. were going on to about month 3 and I can strongly say that my love for her has only grown. The change has been kind of hard but has grown increasingly easier. I have made many trips to spend time with Elle and her daughter (which i love to pieces) and I dont think i could have spent that time any better. Unfortunatly I had changed my major and am now persuing a career in culinary arts (I am going to become a chef :) ) so this puts my college time pretty much back to ground zero. I was formerly going with computer science major.

I am very dedicated in the relationship i have with Elle , she is such a wonderful person and we are increadibly connected. Up untill i meet Elle I did not know what true love was. And i thank her so much for showing me what true love is because it changed my life dramaticaly. I would love to move closer to be near her but we have both agreed that there are still things in our life we need to do. I have to finish school among a few other things. And she is an important part in her daughters life and i totaly respect her decision to be closer to her.

I have never doubted the love i have for Elle and she never doubted the love She has for me. Just like i belive love has no age , distance will never stop a person in love. I would walk the distance to just see her no matter how long it took me. Each time i hear her voice on the phone its like im lighter and it puts an instant smile on my face. For some reason if we decide not to be together i wouldnt give up the friendship and the connection i have with this woman for anything. True love lives forever.

I dont know why it has taken me so long to post, maybe its just because it was elle's time, and i just decided to share the type of person i am.

Again thank you all for the wonderful words of kindness you have given elle and me by reading them. I wish you all the best and baby if you read this im sure you have just as many tears going down your cheeks as i do now, i just wanted to say i love you. talk to you soon

te amo muito anjo... ciao,

Jimmy

OMG, this is so beautiful! You lucky people!

And a chef!!! Love and Food are two of my three favorite things, Eliana, you surely chose well... and Jhenry, another American/Brazilian couple here, please take care of her (and of the little girl!).

E bem vindo a Ageless!

i wouldnt think of doing anything else

these are the two loves of my life

sabrina and eliana

Hello Jimmy~

Welcome to ageless.... tell Elle I miss her! Congratulations to both of you on your wonderful relationship.:)

Good luck with your chef training!

Originally posted by marcy
I can relate, but I'm just assuming that everyone's ex- isn't the deadbeat, jackazz mine is.

IMHO by the time most people get through with their divorce, they are so tired of the whole scene they want to get as far away from each other as possible. Deadbeat or not!

I never want to see my first ex-girlfriend or ex-fiancee ever again. :mad: One cheated on me, the other was way too controlling. :(
;)