Im so Happy

Hello Everyone,

Im so glad I found this site. I have been with my younger man off and on for about a year now. He is 24 I am 37. My heart tells me he is my soul mate but my mind says its wrong, Im always afraid of what others will think. I can honestly say I have never expierenced a Love so deep in my life as I have had with Him.
But I keep on pushing him away for fear of what others "society" will think, and Im afraid that one day Im going to loose the only true Love I have ever had because of my stupid insecurities of what other people think. The only time I am happy is the time we spend together! I guess I just need some encouragement from others in the same kind of relationship, To help me get over my stupid insecurities and enjoy the Love that I have in my life!!!! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my rambling!!!!! :)

Renee

Welcome to Ageless ;)

I am sure you are going to find a lot of encouragement here - so check out the threads and see you are not alone in any way ...

I can sympathise with getting freaked out at times about what others may think, but tbh, being with someone who's 20 and 16 yrs my junior, there is no way I am going to let this concern and "normal" expectations run my life ... - even if I still suffer from occasional discomfort socially, those moments seem to be receding the longer I am "living it" (almost 1 year now ^_^)

It's still your choice and your responsibility what you make with your life - and love :D

Best wishes either way, Lady :)

Hi Renee and welcome to Ageless. Congratulations on taking a step in a different direction. You've reached out for support and that, my friend, has probably started a growth process that you won't be able to stop. YAY! :D

I'm 36 and my boyfriend is 20. Believe me - I had my insecurities at first, too. It took me 2 years to move from a platonic friendship to something else. Well, true I had a boyfriend whom I cared about and wouldn't have cheated on, but somehow the idea of being with an 18 year old didn't sit well. Oooo... I though it was wrong >:|

The more I think of your "dilemma", which was once my dilemma as well, the more I think that when we first fall in love with a younger man, it's not what others think that makes us feel bad. It's what we think of it ourselves. That is, we, like most people out there, believe that what we're doing is wrong. At the same time, we are in love and we intuitively know (i.e., we *feel*) that there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. So it's not so much the thought of what others may think that kill us. It's the conflict between what we believed then with what we know now. (And you think you were rambling! ;)) Regardless of who was thinking what, as you said it yourself, our insecurities may push away the man we love and the possibility of much happiness. I wouldn't say your insecurities are stupid. Poor insecurities... you're gonna hurt their feelings. :P Let's just say they are... hmmm... uneducated. ;) Now you have the love, the information, so much more... Educate your insecurities and tell them they are free to venture elsewhere while you embrace this man and his love.

Oh man, I love being in love!

Welcome to ageless, shakeslady!

This is the place for support, my dear. Stick around and read some of the stories and your doubts and insecurities will quickly fade...;)

Hi Renee, welcome to Ageless!

Congratulations on being in love and being loved in return!!!

To cut to the chase, I'm baffled why so many people think that what they are doing is wrong. He's not 15. Neither of you are married. You aren't planning to use him and then cast him aside when you are finished with him... You love him and want to make sure life is wonderful for him. What is so wrong with that?!

I'm 56 and Dave, my husband of 22 months is 30. We have been together for 5 wonderful years now. :) When we met I thought it would only last a few months. Then I saw how perfect we are for each other. It is as if we were two halves and now we are a whole. I like dark meat, he likes white meat, we love to do the same things, go to the same movies, read the same books. As he said yesterday, "I never thought I'd meet someone who thinks like I do." I can complete his sentences because we think alike so much of the time. We go to sleep to cuddles and wake up to kisses. What on earth could be wrong with that???!

I have to ask you seriously, why do you care so much what "society" thinks? Why is this so terribly important to you? Why would you risk losing your soulmate over the opinion of others?

Family and friends usually come around, some quickly, some when they see how happy you are. Some never come around and you can see that they are unable to love unconditionally and want you to be what *they* need you to be. Since no one can live someone else's life, you have to love them, but not let them influence you.

I have only my sister and she adored Dave from the first. His family is trying. His mother and I are friendly. We are so completely different that, as she said, the only thing we have in common is Dave. But they gave us the wedding and even paid for a lot of it...doing so with good grace and many hugs. His brothers and he have never gotten along, but they treat me okay when I see them. The rest of the world can take a flying leap as far as we are concerned. :D

Most of us here have had very little problem with "society" in general. Some have had a rude comment or a stare here and there. Dave and I never have and have been sung to by a cashier and had a *lot* of people smile at us. We don't worry about them either way because we are too busy being in love to care.

I hope you can let go of your worries and allow your heart to sing. Read the posts here, we've had several ladies who came in your worries and who are doing better now. Check out the place and pull up a chair. We hope you stay.

Peace,
Jane (56) who adores her Big Bear, Dave (30)

Hi Shakeslady and welcome to agelesslove. :)

Your feelings are perfectly normal. Many of us women who are involved with younger men have the same feelings and concerns that you do.

I also tried to push my b/f away. We are now engaged and those worries still creep in every now and then. And, I also worry will my worries destroy our chance at happiness together. So, I've been working very hard to try to get a handle on those concerns and put them to rest once and for all.

I hope you'll stick around and post here and then you'll soon find out that you are not alone.

Katrina (46) engaged to Remi (27)

Hello Everyone!


Thank You So much for your replies!!! I cannot tell you how much your kind words mean to me. I keep on telling my self Renee listen to your heart not your head! This man Loves you and Makes you happy. I told him I needed some time to myself this past weekend and once again pushed him away. I was miserable without seeing him. I came home from work today and there were a dozen hot pink roses were sitting on my front porch swing with a note attached saying Take all the time you need baby, you have my love always and forever. It just brought tears to my eyes. I know this is going to sound stupid But no one has ever sent me flowers before and receiving those flowers made me realize How much I love him! And all of your replies made me that much stronger!!!! I cannot thank you enough for the encouragement I have received!!! I will keep everyone posted and Its good to know we are not alone!

Renee

Oh, how sweet of him to send flowers! It is as though he understands that it is insecurity that makes you push him away and not lack of love. He is being very patient with you. Don't make him wait too long.

By the title of your thread, I think you just need to listen to your heart!

You are happy, he's happy, who is going to be there in your shoes in 40 years? You, right?

So it's up to you to decide what is wrong and what is not, and this is not wrong! This is called Love! It happens in the best families! ;)

Welcome Renee! ((hugs))

I just want you to know that I think we ALL had these thoughts at one time or another.....You will be happy to know that over time as your relationship progresses, those sort of thoughts will fade away. At least in my case they certainly did. I can honestly say we never think of the age gap anymore, let alone discuss it. And any issues we have don't involve the age gap at all, but normal things like children, money, in-laws, etc.

Its a wonderful feeling, being in love and feeling wanted and cared for. Revel in it and enjoy it....

Well yeah, it's tough at first. We were 35 and 19, and however bad 24 might feel, it's pretty darned bad to fall for a nineteen year old.

Arrgh. I was pretty convinced I'd gone batty, cuckoo, off the deep end and was pathetically attempting to live out my lost youth all over again. I was also sure that I would do great emotional damage to him.

But you know, we're just two people and when I watched us together, all that I really saw and all that anybody else saw, was two people who made each other happy. Love is a good thing and it's good for people to express it to each other. I wouldn't have chosen this lover sixteen years younger than myself - I wish we were closer in age, but how can I throw this special a fish back in the river?

The next one I pick up might be the right age, but would he be right in all of the other ways that this guy is?

Unlikely.

So we'll be five years down the road in a few months - living together for four - and I don't regret a thing. There are sometimes some challenges, but that is true of any relationship and none of them have been unmanageable so far, and they are greatly overpowered by the joy of being together every day.

And the best news is that NOW he's 24 - LOL!

Good luck and don't let the fear rob you of someone special. It's never worth it.

Hi Lady!

Yup! 35 and 24 here...

We are just people. We are best friends and we are in love. Really, after you've been here only a short while, you'll feel much more at ease than you could have ever imagined!

Welcome :)

We're 51 and 24.

Welcome to the site, Renee.:)