When does the #X# become the current one more time?

I'm dealing with this one now. When do ya think it starts up again, or is it possible to make a go of it again?

Sure I think people can make it work the second time around. But I do think those two people have to resolve whatever issues caused the breakup the first time around. If you go into it a second time with the same issues staring you in the face, the relationship is ultimately going to arrive at the same fate it did the first time.

Witchy,

Most of my ex's try to rekindle things when I spend time with them, even if they are with someone else. I have to admit, they're not bad guys....but they have a really hard time dealing with the different power dynamic of being my friend.

When they were in a relationship with me, they felt adored, safe, nutured, and number one. As a friend, its kind of cold for them, I expect. I put other people first. I don't manage my time around their needs. I don't validate them in any way sexually. Its basically a completely different relationship, and way less emotionally fullfilling for them. I think this is why they flirt and try to create the old relationship again.

Once, I did make the mistake of giving it another go with an ex. But the same old issues arose. Luckily, I didn't tolerate the situation and got out fast.

Peachy's quite right....if you can see signs that he's grown and dealt with his issues, then maybe its worth a try. But be guarded against guys who simply want the sense of power and adoration they once experienced from you, without thinking through what YOU need.

Witchy~

I have been there time and again with an ex or two, maybe three. ;) I agree with Bella_D and I think that they got such wonderful treatment that they eventually want to come back for more.

I have never went back with an ex. Just recently, my ex-husband made a move on me. He told me I am beautiful and he has always loved me, blah blah... I was shocked nearly speechless because he has been married for several years. I told him to go home to his wife whom I have great respect for. I darn near had to throw him out. He was begging shamelessly and I just opened the door and booted him out, lol.

It is possible for people to change and grow though. So, you just have to think it through carefully.


xoxo

"...I darn near had to throw him out. He was begging shamelessly and I just opened the door and booted
him out, lol. "

--- 1love

Hee-hee-hee! :D :p :) LOL!

oh im definitely a believer in second chances...ive needed them more than once in my life...and believe in offering it to others. Im with Peachy tho...it takes EFFORT to resolve issues and a TRUE and sincere desire to change and make things better. Some people are capable of change....others prefer not not to. Im not the same woman I was in my 20's or even 30's....hopefully I will continue to grow, learn, and change FOREVER. My ex is a man that prefers to hold onto the same patterns of life....the man im engaged to...has grown by leaps and bounds in his late 30's and into his 40's. It all depends on the person, I believe a trust in God and a willingness to FOLLOW and hand over those aspects of our personalities that he wishes to change, and the commitment to each other as partners....then, I DO believe it can work...that sometimes 'old' partners who resolve issues and go on to make it work can form the most lasting and loving of all the relationships Ive witnessed. Goodluck to you and yours!

originally posted by Harrison

Hee-hee-hee! LOL!



Harrison~

I'm glad you got a laugh out of that. ;)