Adivce

Tonight I end it with my Ym. let me apogly now for any bad gammer I might have tonight.Well to begin with last couple months are sex life have went from great to maybe once every couple weeks, and everytime i would ask whats wrong.he would tell me oh noithing......next we were sitting in the parking lot and i start to caress him and so on....well you thought i was raping him.he look and me and said well we only do that in my room.I told him you never had a problem before.also to add to this we really have not spen much time togther here the next problem he want to spend time with a friend.friday or sat. well friday night the guy had plan and sat plan fell threw. well here come today i want to spend timewith him and he call me at work and say sorry to do this to youbut im going out with my friend.well i go to the parking lot and he tell me well im going out with my friend and if you dont like it oh well. and them get im his car with the guy and go to his house leave me staying there like a ***.well let me tell you I was hot.and told him in many a cell phone mess.i hope tonight was fun cuzz you paid a very high price for this night.question was i wrong or should i have look the other way.told him over the phone i can;t for give you for what you done.....fell so dead inside right now agnry and more. that you all for reading this.:mad: :( :confused: we were together almost 4 years/ and whats funny he broke up with me almost a year ago cuzz thought was tradeing up, and did so much for him...

I'm so sorry he's treated you like this. I've been left to sit in a parking lot while he went off with a friend and I was as mad as you are. I also never saw him again. That was the last straw.

This guy has been giving you red flags for a long time. You should never have taken him back when he dumped you thinking he was "trading up." He won't be affectionate with you in public and now he dumps you for a friend. You are well rid of this jerk. Now you can find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

Peace,
Jane

Debbie, I am sorry you are hurting. What he did to you was rude and not manly. He acted like you meant nothing to him and of course, he sent you a very clear message: you are not his priority.

Would you have treated him like that? I don't think so.

You should not feel guilty for reacting or for asking for things that are normal in a couple. It seems he has been neglecting you for a long time now, and if you want to be treated with respect, ignore him.

If he wants to come back, and often they do after they have done what they wanted, you have to impose a set of rules and new behaviour, where you are his priority, and where there's respect. It's not much to ask.

Pamper yourself, go do something you enjoy, call a friend, but ignore him for now.

Sorry for the bad post.But right now dont feel like not being perfect......:(

That's right ((((Debbie)))), what everyone else said...

You deserve better treatment. I don't blame you at all for expecting to be respected. What he did was very disrespectful.

Though it may be hard to move on, you must at least try. Let him get the big picture and see you have more self-esteem than to let him treat you that way. Perhaps he will come to his senses, perhaps not. I admire you for not letting him treat you like a door mat.


xoxo

Angel,Nessa, Maria, Thank you for your replys.Now that my head a little more level.Your right angel after me beign very very angrly.It made me realzied what a fool must look like.. Yes angel and ever one else he NEED to respect me. .No I would't have done that to him. Because not that kinda of person.Maria yes your right! I have felt like i was moving down the just being a buddy instead of a girlfriend......after sitting here thinking about some things that he did over these past months. It made me realized was not only last night but these last weeks was NOT prioritze.And I know the love is there and he will be calling again.he told me i was acting illrational.The thing i feel guilty right now is that gave so much to this relationship.Guess being a big boob right now.I know this foum has help me alot reading all the different posting.:) Your right i need now just to leave things alone and go off and do my own thing right now.I still seeing that guy sitting there looking at me in the parking lot. Must be telling his friends gee! i made a couple break up last night.:mad:

Just think this way: your boyfriend was the one who should have refused the invitation and stayed with you as the initial plans were. The friend guy may be a bad person, a good person, it doesn't matter, he is not the one who should care about your feelings at that moment.

Your boyfriend may be the kind of guy who does what he wants to do, and later comes with a lousy excuse because he knows everything will be okay and he'll have both: his evenings out and you!

Why weren't you invited anyway? I don't see anything bad in guys having their evenings out, I also love to go out from time to time with my girlfriends, but you had a date with him, and it wouldn't kill anyone if you came along! It was in fact a favour you would be doing to that friend, since the priority for that evening should have been you!

I don't know, the last time a guy tried to leave me home to go out with a friend, and I refused, the evening ended out proving that my ex was in very bad company, his friend insulted me all night long (I described it in a thread called "Mommy won") and I am biased about guys who compete with girlfriends for a male friend's attention. I just don't think this is very normal.

What do you all think about a person who TRIES to break up with someone, but gets convinced to stay only to keep trying to break up eventually ending it sometimes years later ???


... I don't really know where I am going with this, other than to just reflect on my last 4 year relationship. I tried to break up with him early on (about 7 months) and he would have none of it. He convinced me in words and deeds that indeed I could be happy if I only gave him a chance.

I did give him a chance and as time went on things were "ok" nothing more nothing less. We bought a house, had 2 dogs, a cat, my son, 2 car payments etc...

At times I would think this was good because it was stable, but other times I would wonder if this is all their was. I could be stable and put on the "put together" show only to realize that is exactly what it was, because I was not in love with him. No matter how much I tried, it wasn't going to happen.

I did leave him a couple of years later but I should have followed my instincts and did it when early on before everything became integrated.

___________________________

I am wondering if anyone has ever had this happen and didn't convince that person to stay with you? Or if you were the one who knew it was destined to fail yet you allowed yourself to stay only to never outgrow those feelings and leave anyway?

The OP's man tried to leave her, didn't and now this is happening. Seems prophetic, and I see it so many times.
If someone wants to leave me, I don't know how hard I would try and convince them not too... guess it depends on whether I am In Love with them or not.
My current R/L is the first time I am in love... so it will be interesting to watch it progress...

I think that when it happens and you are living that kind of thing you have no idea of how much precious time you are losing.

Sometimes I think how is it possible that I stayed in such a doomed relationship, almost knowing it had no chances to work (well, I say almost because we always find excuses to believe we are not sure...) but yet, persisting.

One of the great things about getting older and having experience is that we know what we don't want and we usually get rid of it quickly, so that we can go and find what we really want.

Well he did call just like Maria said.Well I decide to talk to him. That night decide want to get to the botton of many issues that Ifelt that been them.My frist question was have i been a priority in his life... His answer was no was not. They said if you dont want to know the truth you should't ask. well i want to know everything. well my other question was are you still sexutaly attracted to me. Them brought up the going under the tee shirt thing and he look at me and said what would people think?He just look at me them start it to LOOK every where my at me. But at Maria point it out here came the flow of lousy excuses.....Im tried or we dont spend much time with each other which was true.......But still was no excuse.(As one lady put it he has been sending you RED flags or clear mess.last week we were out and he look at me and said you need to go and do what makes debbie happy.cuzz I do!:mad:) and you know what I going to start doing that....there been many things been want to do. that you all for letting me exhale.I was sitting in his car last night with my hands in my lap...he tried to hold my hand and held it for a few mims them told him Ihad a pain.:D

Well, now you know how he feels. Its the painful truth, it is up to you to make some decisions here. Don't delay them becuase you think things will change, as you were advise before...there were major red flags and you choose to ignore them, which got you to this point.

what happens when you continue to hold a relationship together as it dies is that you lose your self worth. Your self image takes a beating and you can't afford to lose that. You will need it to get over this relationship and put youself in a the right frame of mind to be open to other relationships when they appear and keep your baggage light. Good luck.

Paris