New and I have a question

Hello everyone. I'm a 19 year old guy and I am currently seeing a 43 year old woman. My question is this: When should I tell my family about this relationship, and how should I tell them. I'd appreciate any advice from anyone who has done this. Some important factors in my situation are that I am currently a college student, still living with my mom, and she has both a son and a daughter who are both older than I am. As I said, any advice would be appreciated.

Hi bkreader,
Welcome to ageless. I'm not great at giving advice, but I think you're always ok when you go with your "gut feeling". If this is a very new relationship, you might want to wait - just to see where things are going. But if you've been seeing this woman for awhile and truly want to introduce her to your family, just do it. You might prepare your Mom in some way, just so it doesnt knock her socks off. But you know your Mom and how she reacts to situations and how open-minded (or not) she is, so just use your own judgment. If this is a fairly serious relationship, I know you and your girlfriend will both feel better when the cat is out of the bag. I did want to tell you, that as a Mom, the most I can hope for is that my children choose a mate who makes them happy. In other words, as long as my kids are happy, then I'm happy. And I think all Moms pretty much feel the same way. So I hope that helps...

Good luck and let us know how it goes,
Southerngal

Greetings!!

Well what an interesting question you pose. Don't do what my guy did... he basically BS'ed is parents and then one day sprung it on them.

What that did is told them he felt "bad" about our relationship otherwise why wasn't he upfront about it in the first place. I agree that they have a point, but he was afraid of being judged. And well... he was judged and I was judged.

I never really fleshed this out, but some basic stages in my head go like this:

You tell someone of your relationship

1. Joke - "haha, you are kidding me! Come on get real..."
2. Shock - "OMG, are you REALLY serious?" "What could you possibly have in common?" "Wow he/she must be good in bed"
3. Advice Givers - "Dude you can't be in a serious relationship with her/him... You need to end this... its not right"
4. Outrage - "I see you didn't listen to me! Fine! Whatever! It's your life and you can Eff it up however you see fit, but count me out"

5. Acceptance - "Wow, now that I see you together I can see why this relationship works..." "Nice call"
or
6. End of Relationship - This person will not accept and you must terminate the friendship or if family become estranged.

At least that has been my experience.

Come clean and explain that the age diff. doesnt bother you at all, and that you are happy and that everyone should give your relationship a chance. YES IT COULD END... but so could any relationship.

At the end of the day, they will have to go through the stages or else they will choose not to, and you will adjust accordingly.

I wish you luck! Let us know how it goes.

PS: Southerngal -- GOOD ADVICE!!!

Awww thanks First Love :)

Southerngal