Older Women Jumping Ship

AARP Study: Wives 40+ Seeking More Divorces

NEW YORK - Two-thirds of divorces after age 40 are initiated by wives, debunking the myth of an older man divorcing his wife for a younger woman, a new survey shows. "That obviously happens, but mostly it's women who are asking for the divorce," said Steve Slon, editor of AARP the Magazine, last Tuesday. The magazine published the results Thursday in its July-August issue.

"The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond" surveyed 1,147 people ages 40 to 79 who had divorced in their 40s, 50s or 60s. The questionnaire survey, completed in December, had a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3 percentage points.

The survey found that women over age 40 seemed more aware of problems in their marriages, while men were more likely to be caught off-guard by their divorces. Twenty-six percent of men said they "never saw it coming," compared with 14 percent of women.

The increase in women initiating a divorce reflects the empowerment of women to leave bad marriages, said Linda Fisher, AARP's director of national member research.

"Thirty years ago, many of these women might not have been able to (divorce) because of lack of self-confidence and financial means," she said. "Women are more likely to have more self-confidence and the means to leave a marriage when the circumstances are untenable."

The AARP study found that most women said they filed for divorces because of physical or emotional abuse, infidelity or drug and alcohol abuse. Men said they sought divorces because they fell out love, they had different values or lifestyles, or infidelity.

The report also found that most older divorced people move on to other serious relationships.

Seventy-five percent of women in their 50s reported enjoying serious, exclusive relationships after their divorces, often within two years. Eighty-one percent of men in their 50s did the same.

Source: Associated Press/AP Online

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I read this today at work and hoped someone would post it. So much for the fear that he will leave you for a younger woman. :)

Thanks a lot for posting it, Patricia.

Peace,
Jane

Actually, that's true for all age classes. The study that this article quotes also says that it's been true for most of the 20th century.

Divorce study finds more women are doing the dumping

Key factor is their belief that they'll get custody of children, researcher says

By John Tierney
New York Times

Last Updated: July 15, 2000

New York - Which sex is mostly to blame for divorce? The answer seems obvious every time a mogul like Donald Trump or Ronald Perelman or Rupert Murdoch dumps his wife.

Conservative preachers and liberal feminists are united in their disdain for philandering men who abandon their children. Journalists and politicians of all persuasions have righteously condemned "deadbeat dads." Even Hollywood professes to be appalled at the cads depicted in "The First Wives Club."

But there's a problem with the conventional wisdom. Across America, at least two-thirds of divorce suits are filed by women. Researchers who have interviewed divorcing couples have repeatedly found that, in cases where the divorce is not mutually desired, women are more than twice as likely to be the ones who want out. After the split, women are typically happier than their exes.

This trend has inspired what is probably the first paper in the American Journal of Law and Economics ever to be named after a Nancy Sinatra song. In "These Boots Are Made for Walking: Why Most Divorce Filers Are Women," Margaret Brinig and Douglas Allen, both economists, analyze all 46,000 divorces filed during 1995 in four states: Connecticut, Virginia, Montana and Oregon.

They looked for reasons that would prompt a woman to file for divorce. One would be to escape an abusive husband - like a man who is adulterous or violent. But in the state with the best records of grievances, Virginia, only 6% of divorces were granted on grounds of violence, and husbands were cited for adultery only slightly more often than wives.

"Some women file for divorce because they're exploited in really bad marriages," said Brinig, a professor of law at the University of Iowa. "But it seems to be a relatively small number, probably less than 20% of the cases."

The solution to the mystery, the factor that determined most cases, turned out to be the question of child custody. Women are much more willing to split up because - unlike men - they typically do not fear losing custody of the children. Instead, a divorce often enables them to gain control over the children.

"The question of custody absolutely swamps all the other variables," Brinig said. "Children are the most important asset in a marriage, and the partner who expects to get sole custody is by far the most likely to file for divorce."

The correlation with custody is so strong, Brinig said, that she has changed her view about the best way to preserve marriages and protect children. She had advocated an end to quick no-fault divorces, but now believes in rewriting custody laws.

In most states, mothers can fight for and usually win sole custody. But some states, including Wisconsin, have begun making joint custody the presumptive norm.

That change seems to be keeping more couples together, according to this study and other work by Brinig. She and colleagues have noted a decline in divorce in states with joint-custody laws. And when couples do divorce, fathers who share custody are less likely to renege on their child-support payments.

This reminds me of another study I heard about a few years ago. The results:

Married men live longer than single men.
Single women live longer than married women.

Hmmm.

I'm all for dumping a cheating abusive rat! The article makes it sound as if that is the type of situation these women are dumping. Perhaps because their children are out of the home?

I think that you are right, Witchy. The article I posted seems to be about the older women who have no children to worry about. Pink's article seems to be about younger women who have young children still at home.

Actually, the Brinig-Allen study included all age classes and concluded that although infidelity was a major factor in divorce, abuse was not. The state (of the few that report cause of divorce) the had the highest percentage of divorces based on "cruelty" was Virginia. Even there it was the cause of only 6% of all divorces filed by women.