My situation

I would like to introduce myself. I am 24 years old and am now secretly engaged to the love of my life. She is 39.

This would not be bad but we are both finding this awkward and maybe could use some advice. I will get to the point. I met Grace a year ago when my brother was getting married. The complicated part is that my brother is married to Grace's daughter. A year ago at a family get together before the wedding my eyes locked with a beautiful raven-haired woman who was tall, beautiful, physically fit, and with smooth milky white skin. We couldn't keep our eyes off each other and as we were leaving we ended up talking for quite some time by the cars outside. We went to for coffee after and since then we have been romantically involved secretly. She was divorced ten years ago and has dated but not found the right man. We both ended up leaving our partners and have been together. We were overjoyed to find out that Grace is now 3 months pregnant (and it's twins).

This news has forced us into a wedding in the next couple of months. The awkward thing is not only the age but the family ties. I would now be a father-in-law to my brother and our children will be brothers/sisters/nephews/nieces to this couple as well. We are not sure how they will take it. We are also concerned how both our parents and also friends will percieve us.

We will be making the announcement this weekend and could use some advice.

Darcy,

Most people won't really care. People are way too self absorbed to bother themselves with technical details about other relationships such as age differences; even family.

I don't know if its your love for Grace talking, but Grace sounds very physically beautiful, from the way you described. I think physical beauty, like uncanny popularity, charm, or wealth, can put people off a bit. It can make those close to you feel insecure and inadequate in comparison.

So depending on the people involved, its sometimes easier for people to focus on your age gap rather than admit that they are envious. This is what I'd be wary of in your position.

Bella_D -- that is a very good observation!!!!!

Hi Darcy and welcome to ageless. I wouldn't worry about all those semantics of the relations issue (ex. your brother being your son-in-law). There are so many unusual marriage combinations these days that I'm sure this won't be a first.

Regarding how to break the news... well, there's no easy way. The way I have handled things with my children and other relatives was to break the news to them slowly. This did give my son, who is 20, time to adapt to the idea of me marrying a 27 year old man (I am 46). My son is the one who had the hardest time with this at first. But, I do believe that giving him bits of information to "chew on" over a period of time has helped him alot, rather than shocking him by telling him all at once that not only am I in love with a man young enough to be his brother, I am also met him online, he lives in Romania (I am from the U.S.) AND I am marrying him.

In your case, it doesn't sound like you have the time that I had to break them in slowly. So, it seems to me that all you can do is explain exactly how this all happened. It's not like either of you planned it. You fell in love and now you have two babies on the way as a result of your love.

I think that you and Grace should prepare yourselves for anything. You will likely receive a mixed varietey of reactions from people. Some may be shocked. Some may be upset. Some may be happy. Some may be outraged. But, in the end, all that really does matter is how you and she feel about each other.... and then of course her health, as well as the health of your unborn babies.

I have a feeling that when those babies come along, that no matter what anyone is feeling after you tell them this weekend, they will be happy for both of you when they are born.

Good luck to you both in your upcoming wedding, the birth of your babies and in telling your family and friends your big news.

We are here for you.

What's the name of that song? "I'm My Own Grandpa??" lol

I've never encountered the situation you're in right now and I can't think of any advice to offer. All I can say is Congratulations! on being pregnant and it sounds as though you've found true love. Who knows how they are going to respond but keep in mind that regardless of age, unusual relations (father-in-law to your brother) etc. there are some people out there that are just plain spiteful when they see others that are happy and in love. Its sad but take whatever comes with a grain of salt. Best of luck to you and your new family!!!