Odd Even
06-07-2004, 05:11 PM
Now and then, I see posts here at ageless about persons having an Internet, long distance, romance, who decide to meet i.r.l., for the first time, at a place far away from home. Then, one part get cold feet and doesn't show up for the meeting, or cancels the meeting in the last minute when the other part is already there or on his/her way.
Naturally, the other part then feels very disappointed, betrayed, and humiliated, especially since the trip to the meeting place might have been expensive.
For these unfortunate people, I have a tip that could relax these negative feelings of the betrayed part, at least a little:
Prepare, in advance, a Plan B for your trip, for the case when your partner doesn't show up!
You could e.g. find some tourist attractions you want to see at the meeting place. You could pay a surprise visit to a friend living there, you could go shopping, or anything, just as long as you decide in advance something to do if your partner doesn't show up. Because then, the trip might not be felt as a complete waste of time and money, and this could at least weaken your feelings of betrayal and disappointment, although it would certainly not not wipe out these feelings completely.
It's a sad fact that you can't always trust people, and in particular not Internet acquaintances. Therefore, you should always be prepared for the possibility that your friend won't show up at the meeting, and therefore: Always have a plan B!
Incidentally, an occasion for which I find it necessary to have a Plan B is the Ageless London meeting at July 24th (not quite a romantic meeting with a partner, but still...). There has been a lot of talking about that meeting, but still noone has come up with a concrete plan, or even a meeting place in London. Therefore, I wouldn't be surprised if the meeting actually never will take place. But that's no problem for me, because I have a Plan B (or actually, a Plan A), namely, to spend a week travelling in England, and combine this with the Ageless meeting, if it takes place!
Naturally, the other part then feels very disappointed, betrayed, and humiliated, especially since the trip to the meeting place might have been expensive.
For these unfortunate people, I have a tip that could relax these negative feelings of the betrayed part, at least a little:
Prepare, in advance, a Plan B for your trip, for the case when your partner doesn't show up!
You could e.g. find some tourist attractions you want to see at the meeting place. You could pay a surprise visit to a friend living there, you could go shopping, or anything, just as long as you decide in advance something to do if your partner doesn't show up. Because then, the trip might not be felt as a complete waste of time and money, and this could at least weaken your feelings of betrayal and disappointment, although it would certainly not not wipe out these feelings completely.
It's a sad fact that you can't always trust people, and in particular not Internet acquaintances. Therefore, you should always be prepared for the possibility that your friend won't show up at the meeting, and therefore: Always have a plan B!
Incidentally, an occasion for which I find it necessary to have a Plan B is the Ageless London meeting at July 24th (not quite a romantic meeting with a partner, but still...). There has been a lot of talking about that meeting, but still noone has come up with a concrete plan, or even a meeting place in London. Therefore, I wouldn't be surprised if the meeting actually never will take place. But that's no problem for me, because I have a Plan B (or actually, a Plan A), namely, to spend a week travelling in England, and combine this with the Ageless meeting, if it takes place!