Approaching Younger MEn

I am newly separated and 44 (45 next month). Since viewing the Oprah show about younger men and older women dating, I have toyed with the idea of this as another life option. I work in an establishment in which I meet people. Part of our establishement has a food court and a younger man (just don't know his age maybe under 30) works there for a couple of hours. I have been interested (his eyes are GORGEOUS), but have never done anything about it. In his passing me one day he commented: "WOw, smells really good in here (I just looked stunned) and then he said: "Must be you." (I was still stunned and never said a word) He just said have a good day and left) I didn't want to appear (can't think of the word) and didn't say anything about the comment except you have a good day too.
What are your opinions about what I should have done? Am I reading too much into this? How do I approach him? How young is too young?
THanks,
Cheryl

hmmm if i was him and i said what he said, i prolly would have said that because i thought you were cute :)

next couple of times you see him, make some eye contact (with a smile), see how he responds. couldnt hurt right?

Lou (^_^)

Originally posted by Cheryl
I am newly separated and 44 (45 next month). Since viewing the Oprah show about younger men and older women dating, I have toyed with the idea of this as another life option. I work in an establishment in which I meet people. Part of our establishement has a food court and a younger man (just don't know his age maybe under 30) works there for a couple of hours. I have been interested (his eyes are GORGEOUS), but have never done anything about it. In his passing me one day he commented: "WOw, smells really good in here (I just looked stunned) and then he said: "Must be you." (I was still stunned and never said a word) He just said have a good day and left) I didn't want to appear (can't think of the word) and didn't say anything about the comment except you have a good day too.
What are your opinions about what I should have done? Am I reading too much into this? How do I approach him? How young is too young?
THanks,
Cheryl

Anyone over 18 is fair game. :D How about you just think of something nice to say to him next time, with a flirtatious smile. After that, write back about it and we can do a walk-through. :D
You're newly single, he's of legal age and attracted to you...sounds like a promising start to me.

When you have the time, read through the forum sections, particularly the relationship support one and you'll find many posts by older women in situations like yours.

Hi Cheryl,
Just wanted you to know you're not the only one!! Whenever anyone says anything like that to me, I just freeze up!!!! Cant think of ONE thing to say at the time, but PLENTY of things later lol. I'm just the world's worst at spur of the moment things to say!! I can never think of a come back!! I think my mind just gets so boggled at what they said, I cant think at all!! :eek:

Anyway, the guys around here can probably give you way better advice on this subject than I can!! And welcome to ageless!!

Southerngal

What are your opinions about what I should have done? Am I reading too much into this? How do I approach him? How young is too young?
You have to take the initiative. Don't wait for him to speak to you; the cat will get your tongue again. Just approach him and ask some innocuous questions. Make sure you give him some "I'm interested in you" looks while speaking to him. Remember that the most effective way of communicating in a situation like this is nonverbally. Above all, don't give up; be aggressive if that's the only way to get his attention.

Maybe he liked your fragrance. I would have said, "It is Lancome'."

Candy
PS want to add something here, being of the 'old school' a lot of us keep remembering that our moms drilled into our heads not to chase guys. Having grown children , they say the times have changed and guys like women to call them...it is hard to know what the correct rules are...initially I feel like the guy, if given the green light, would want to call like crazy to let the female know that he liked her...most older females like being chased. Tell what is the correct behavior here? Thanks for your input.

Cheryl, I believe that YM that like OW, and OW who like YM naturally are drawn to eachother. They sniff eachother out. And I feel that he was flirting with you. Yes, anyone over 18 is fair game...........
If you cant think of anything witty to say next time, just " Hey! How are ya doing today, Great to see you again!" will probably be enough to start a conversation. He will know that you remember him. And be SURE to wear that same perfume!!!!

Originally posted by Cheryl
(I was still stunned and never said a word)

Hi Cheryl:

When my second husband said he wanted a divorce, I was stunned. I felt... well, rejected, horrified, scared, etc. I felt like I was an old, shriveled prune ~ and no one would want me, as I have two kids from two marriages and one of them is autistic. Like I'd EVER have a chance finding love again.

Not THREE DAYS after my husband said the "D" word, I walked into a Chicken Out, sat down by myself brooding and up walks this... oh, how shall I put this, amazingly hot, long haired construction worker. "Do you mind if I join you?" I just gawked up at him, jaw opening and closing, opening and closing and I couldn't get a word out.

About a full minute passed and I eventually croaked, "Uhhh... its probably not a good idea." And he sweetly bowed his head and said "maybe another time" and left. Within maybe three more minutes, I was feeling like a total blithering idiot. WHY would I let hot, young guy not sit down?

Oh yeah, I just got separated... although, hubby #2 made it a point to be VERY sure I understood it was not a 'separation' but a down and out 'divorce.' I still wasn't ready.

And a lot of people would tell me it was too early to start seeing my YM. And for the most part, I agree. Although, he is NOT the hot construction worker, either. I never saw him again.

What that guy did for me, though, is immeasurable. I felt worthless, ugly, rejected and dejected. That simple act on his part made me feel so good. It made me feel that I WAS attractive and worth flirting with. OMG. He was soooo hot. :D

Anyway... if you see this guy and you see him fairly frequently, don't be afraid to initiate conversation. Then it will be his turn to be stupified! :D Enjoy...

~phosphorescent

Hi Cheryl and Fos4snt--something like this happened to me yesterday at a particularly unhappy moment!
At the lake, just a little harmless flirtation but boy those moments sure let you know that yes, you ARE desireable and yes you WILL be okay. Im not newly separated or anything, but hey, everyone needs a confidence boost from time to time!
I was on clould 9 for the rest of the day. :D

Just wanted to throw that out there....as far as your attraction to YM? Dont over-think it.
If the guy is over 18 and otherwise appropriate for your lifestyle, why not go for it and get to know someone?

Good luck to you!