Excessive Profanity

Hi Everyone!

Is anyone here currently involved with -- or was once involved with -- someone who uses a lot of profanity?

I've dated women in the past who liked to swear, which really turned me off. Many women I know, young and old, do like to use profanity. I'm not even sure if some of them are aware of it!

Some friends and colleagues have tried to convince me to relax, that I shouldn't be put off by so much cussing. In fact, a couple of people have tried to get me to embrace it. Ugh!

When it comes to movies, I don't mind excessive violence or excessive nudity at all. But I don't like excessive profanity.

What are your experiences? How have you dealt with them? Is anyone else as turned off by profanity as I am, especially when your significant other is the swearer?

Adam

I don't like it at all. Profanity should be used for extreme situations, not for everyday conversation, otherwise it loses its impact. Inappropriate use of profanity is vulgar and offensive; most people don't like it. Luckily, there are enough men out there for me who are able to communicate without profanity. If you don't like it, then ask your dates not to speak that way around you and if they won't respect your request, drop them.

Actually, I don't think I have ever been exposed to what I would consider excessive profanity, but maybe it just doesn't register often enough with me ... Personally, I swear rarely, and if so, I can really only do so in English ;)

Mind you, my sweet and gentle b/f can - on occasion - get really wound up online gaming, though, and yeah, I guess some people might consider him using excessive profanity then ... It's rare enough, though; but to be honest, it tends to crack me up laughing big time, both because a) I consider most o the situations downright hillarious (even though I tend to be very sympathetic about the cause) ;) ), and b) I am actually kinda intrigued by it ... being a totally placid person myself, I just don't even KNOW how to shout at people, even if it is only in cyber space ...

Side note on swearing: interesting, that there are cultural differences in swearing, for example, swear words in German tend to mostly based on feces, whereas in English, the most common ones seem to have sexual connotations - and in Norwegian, if my language trainer is correct, swearing tends to be religious in context ...
Maybe that's why I find it easier to swear in a foreign language than in my own ... - it just sounds "nicer", lol ;)

My Father swore like a longshoreman and his colorful
barrage of profanity was hard to ignore.

I can swear just as expertly as my Father did-
but I have trained myself to not.
My Mother never swore-
and it if she did, watch out!

I have been with men that used the F word
as every other word and it is a huge turn-off!
To me, a person that spouts off a stream of profanity
comes off ignorant, un-evolved and quite dimwitted.
It's like being slapped in the face over and over-
it actually hurts and offends me greatly.
I guess too, it brings back some painful feelings
from my past in regard to my Father,
(as he used his profanity to demean and hurt us)

I get so tired of films using the F word
over and over.
I just don't see how this gains the film any type
of quality whatsoever.
To me, if robs a film of it's dignity.
And I feel the same in regard to people that swear
like there's no tomorrow.
It robs them of any dignity and I have little
respect for anything they say when it is peppered
with tons of swear words.

I do swear on occasion and my kids know
that if a swear word comes out of my mouth,
they better lay low and take cover.
Even then- I try to not use these words.
I want people to value what I have to say and
profanity only devalues that.



<FONT SIZE=3 COLOR=768A76 FACE="Lucida Handwriting">~Sage~ </FONT><img src="http://ChasingDownTheBlue.homestead.com/files/femme.gif">

I think swearing, like raising your voice, is best used for rare occasions when its actually needed..then its far more effective. Sure, there are times when I need to catch myself or use a cuss word when its not needed but its something I had to work on when I was younger. I picked up some bad habits in the military, using the F word in every other sentence but I tamped it way down after i got out and joined the private sector, where its a big no-no. Also, I think NOT swearing, especially when you're angry can cause a double-take with a person you're in a verbal confrontation with.

As far as women, I don't have this high standard of what I expect since I'm just as guilty of needing a bar of soap in my mouth from time to time. I don't mind it here and there, but I hope they're like me and at least try to control it. However, using profanity in certain social settings (meeting my parents, a nice dinner, around small children) is a huge turn-off and that would make me start to re-think my feelings for them. I don't know if that's too extreme but its the way I feel.

I curse sometimes but it's not excessive. My ex-b/f cursed all the time. He has lived in the NYC area for 17 years and I think that the F word is used alot more in his area of the country than in mine. But, I really didn't like it. I found it to be vulgar and unattractive and I was especially worried that he would use the language around my children when he visited here.

I don't even like it when I am out in public and someone near me uses excessive profanity around my children. I think it's rude and disrespectful to others.

#(#*$()#%*)#$(*%)$(*@)#(*@)#(*$)(*


#(@#)*$)(#*)%(#*%)

#()*$$)@%)@)(#*)#(*$)

So there!!!
:D

(Sorry, couldn't resist. . .)

Originally posted by Carazy

Side note on swearing: interesting, that there are cultural differences in swearing, for example, swear words in German tend to mostly based on feces, whereas in English, the most common ones seem to have sexual connotations - and in Norwegian, if my language trainer is correct, swearing tends to be religious in context ...
Maybe that's why I find it easier to swear in a foreign language than in my own ... - it just sounds "nicer", lol ;)

Yes, the cutural differences of what's considered "obscene" in different languages are kinda neat. French tends to use religious imagery as well. One of the worst swear words in French literally translates to "tabernacle"!

Once I was asked to be maid of honour for my good friend Jen, who had a Hungarian background (although she herself was born in Canada). Anyway, the day before the wedding we're zipping around the city trying to get everything organized, and Jen was extremely wound up. Since she was the one driving the car I was trying to keep her calm before she hit something... :rolleyes:

Anyway, at one point another driver pulled out in front of us and cut us off. Instantly this stream of verbiage pours out of Jen's mouth, all of it in Hungarian. I had no idea what she was saying, but some things are obvious in any language, if you know what I mean. I asked her say it again in English and after some prodding, she revealed that it meant the following:

"Your mother did it with a randy goat and you resemble him!"

I collapsed laughing -- and pretty soon so did Jen...

Was a great stress reliever. :D

I'm pretty much like everyone else here - if something can be said without using vulgar language, then why use them? I'm not saying I'm beyond it myself, cause I do slip once in awhile. And like Sage, my kids know they better duck and cover ;) But I do try to keep those words out of my every day vocabulary. Because they do become more of a habit than anything else. And if I let it become a habit, I'd really be embarrassed if I let something roll out at an inappropriate place!!

Sherry

Darn, Molly stole my @#$! idea!

I agree all that %$#@! cussing can be a total &^%$# turnoff. I hardly cuss, only if I"m really ^&&*%$#@! mad! It's more for that dramatic effect and sometimes it just feels ^%$#@%! good to get it out when angry. :)

Although, depending on the mood, sometimes a well placed naughty word here or there can add a lil excitement in the bedroom.. ;)

It's funny, I don't care for a movie with a lot of profanity. It makes me want to give the writer a thesarus. On the other hand I swear...a lot. :) For me it's simply verbal shorthand. I don't think much about it, although I don't tend to swear in public and never around children. Oddly enough, although I use the F-word myself, I do not use it in a sexual reference and am uncomfortable with those who do.

Basically, I think it's one of those things that is a personal preference. Everyone should do what makes them comfortable and those of us who do swear need to be like those who smoke...we have to consider who is near and make adjustments accordingly.

Peace,
Jane

Ps swearing in foreign languages is a hoot. I can say some really unpleasant things in Hungarian. LOL Cursing in French, as was said in the Matix, is like wiping your a** with silk. It sounds wonderful even if they have accused you of doing awful things.

My parents absolutely abhorred cussing and we were all prohibited to cuss. When you grow up like this, you just get used to it, and it's easy not to cuss.

I don't cuss in French unless I hurt myself and it just goes out of my mouth before I can catch it. Same in English, although I have to say, you all cuss too much and it's kind of contagious.

We went to Boston to meet the Ageless gang and stopped the car at the red light when a woman who was crossing the street (in the red lights for her!) felt bothered by our car, and just yelled "F* yourself!" Out of the blue! I couldn't believe my ears and Jason said "yeah have a nice day you too", and I started laughing. I had never seen such a demonstration of bad manners for nothing. Oh ok I probably have, but that's the latest I remember.

Japanese language has very few words you can consider "profane". The maximum you'll get is silly. Or you big silly. If you see two Japanese people fighting you'll get bored and sleep.

I don't cuss at all. In the 3 years since I've been with my company, no one has heard me cuss, they're amazed. Neither have my nieces and nephews although their parents are just plain awful.

I grew up with parents who were big cursers especially when my father used to drink and the fights would erupt. 13 was the year for me to become self aware of alot things, I never wanted to drink, smoke, hang out in the hood, or be someone's else's image of what a Puerto Rican is (someone today commented on how I wasn't much of a PR since I wasn't going to go to the PR parade this weekend, they were even more shock that I've never been, I hate big crowds like that, i don't care what your nationality is)...therefore, I learn to speak english quite well (so well at times, ost people think I'm British), no accent, no cursing...I can count on one hand how many times I've curse since I was 18, don't like it when a guy does it. its a huge turnoff, although I can see why one would use it during a confrontation, its effect is to create drama, isn't it.

Paris

I'll be the first to admit that every other word I say is a cuss word. :(

Maybe I should tone it down a little, ya' think?

Awhi,

I find it curious that you dont mind excessive violence or excessive nudity/sexuality but cussing no way!

What do you think is the reason for that?

I swear some but usually not cause I usually have my "professional face" on. But when I get pissed I have said some really unpleasant things that probably shouldn't be said.

Sometimes in business our CEO or Vice Presidents cuss endlessly and well that just goes with working with them. I have been told I "effed up" this and that... and then they just say "now go fix it" and that is just how it goes.

Then my other boss was raised in a closet somewhere I think. She had zero street smarts and had no understanding of street slang at all but knew business...oh yes she did. I was ALWAYS embarrassed to say something to her that was foul so I always avoided it, and just looked for great opportunities to get to "explain" other peoples foulness to her. HAHAHA
Is that passive aggressive????

-Cheers!
I am on my way to St. Louis and vacation so I won't be back til the beginning of July! Cheers Everyone~!

By nature I don't swear, I'm not comfortable with it. Although, piss me off enough and I've been known to sound like Joe. <G> BUT - given the ex's occupation, I'll zing him with the f word every now and then, just to irk him. He can't control what I say and it just drives him up the wall.

Okay, so I admit it, I'm evil...bwahahahaa:D

My vocabulary:
Lenyavala ****ka!
Va te faire enculiere.
Chinga te, chingata madre.
You get the drift...rarely will anyone I say these around know the meaning of the words.
For me it is a total stress release.
Witchy

Hi Gang,
Yea....Ive slipped at few times(evil girn)....he he)laughing very evil now)
Do it only when very very upset.Try not to get that mad,cause it scares me.Hadn't been that mad in a long while....Have got a better handle on it now.As it takes ALOT,to get me upset,and I mean ALOT.
One thing I'll never do....is do it infornt of a woman..Thats a No No in my book.Also a major turn off.



Michael

I know it's an interesting phenomenon, the way I look at violence and nudity vs. profanity.

Honestly, I'm not sure why this is the case. I guess I was just shocked when I got to middle school (as an 11 year-old) and heard my own peers say things that I thought were only said by adults in R-rated movies!

Plus, I was raised to be a gentleman. I never found it very ladylike to hear a woman use excessive profanity. I heard it a lot in high school and especially in college. I strive to be on my best behaviour...can't any woman I spend time with be nice enought to do the same thing?

I know, sometimes I slip (I'm only human, after all). But I try to do it when there are very few people or no one around.

Adam

I guess I don't mind excessive nudity because it's natural..or at seems more natural, at least. We're all naked underneath our clothes, after all. But are we always vulgar and profane by nature? Doesn't seem that way.

What about excessive violence? I don't know why I tolerate that. I guess (for some odd, subconcious reason perhaps) I consider it the lesser fo two evils next to profanity.

Doesn't make sense, does it?

Adam

Hmm...

My opinion on profanity is that swear words are words just like any other, and they should be used and treated accordingly. There are times when it may be permissible, others not, but the bottom line is that it is up to each individual person to find their comfort level for both using and hearing them.

The only two times I feel that swearing isn't appropriate is 1) in a business situation, or 2) when people use it excessively or because they have the linguistic capacity of a two-year old.

I've been talking to clients at work and had them cuss, usually in frustration over something neither they nor my company has control over. For some reason, when I hang up the phone after such an exchange it always seems like an epsiode of the Twilight Zone.

My favorite swear word would have to be the f word. Why? Sheer versatility, of course. I mean, you have to have respect for a word that can be used (and used correctly) as any part of a sentence, statement, or phrase.

Someone was even kind enough to do a little dissertation on it. Check it out here:

http://upl.silentwhisper.net/uplfolders/upload6/thefword.zip

Of course, be advised that there might be a cuss word or two in it... :eek:

All I'll say about profanity being worse then violence.... that's just too weird.

Grammatically yours,

Dave (30) who f'in loves and f'in adores Jane (56) without reservation.

I was raised by parebts who NEVER used profane language even ONCE..hard to believe I know. Even to this day, they are both 87, I never heard it once. The worst thing I ever heard my Father say was "assinine"! So I hate the "F" word, from people Im talking to, and in movies. Every time I hear it it stabbs like a knife. The other day I was at my job and I was dealing with a young couple. Tee girl was foulmouthing like crazy. The guy didnt seem to like it, and as soon as she turned her back he asked me to go out with him, LOL, LOL!!
People should realize that just because it doesnt offend THEM, it does offend many others.

WOW, I cant spell...........parents.......the.........JEEZ!

Yeah, Nessa, It is so funny! If I said Darn it around him, he would chastise me. My YM doesnt like me using raw language either. He doesn actually say anything about it, but his one eyebrow will go down. OH, Man, The 87 yr old and the 20 yr old are the same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember the guy in Montgomery County, MD Nessa! I still can't believe it. He used the word "niggardly" in its proper meaning too, from what I understand.

Nevertheless, there were plenty of people at my college who wanted him immediately departed to a Third World country!

Adam

I found this and just had to add it to this thread. In Austria there is an honest-to-God town named "F*cking." Here is the link to read about it. Town in Austria (http://www.santabanta.com/newsmaker.asp?select=1163&catname=Newsmaker)

They were considering a name change but decided against it. They do, however, have a problem with the British stealing their signs...

Peace,
Jane

Ps. The link that Dave posted is a hysterical and very scholarly sounding treatise on the word. My sister is an English major and said she is going to give a copy to her professor.

I don't use profanity, But I think I know all the words. Year ago I was around a young man in the military who actually couldn't speak a sentence without profanity. And he was part of a Boy Scout council. I often wondered how he got chosen. later, my Ym also used the F word a lot, I didn't know until we started talking on the phone. He bragged how his grandma would take a broom to him if she ever heard him. I often wondered why he thought it was so great.

I picked up a very bad profanity habit when I entered the work world, and it was only enhanced by being a rocker. About a year before my first son was born, I made an effort to tone it down (I did not know that my now ex was pregnant, it just coincided with my son's conception), and around my children, I was very good about curbing the language.

About eight years ago, I began trying to excise profanity from my vocabulary. Gotta say that it was hard. Toning it down wasn't too challenging, but getting rid of it completely is hard. Now, I rarely use profanity, and when I do, its usually a reaction to the hammer dropping on my foot or burning my hand on a hot surface.

I find movies with excessive profanity offensive. As to nudity and violence, I don't think there is anywhere near the need for as much of it as makes it into the movies. I am not thirteen, and so cussing on screen does not impress me, nor do singers who feel the need to cuss.

Singers who cuss are simply substituting shock value for talent, and when cussing is so commonplace that nobody cares, such no-talents will be out of a job.

Danelectro