PLOWBOY223
06-16-2004, 10:39 AM
I am a 28 year old male who has been in love with my fantastic OW who is 48 for 3 1/2 years now. I met her while I was DJing at a night club. Women were always easy to find at the club and I consider myself an attractive male and really never had a problem getting looks and flirts from girls my own age, but Ive never really gotten along with them, maybe i wasnt with the right ones but the chemestry was never there.
However, one this woman walked into my life that night and like they say, love will find you when you are not looking for it. A friend of mine was dancing with my OWs friend and he told me that she was by herself and wanted to dance with somebody. I tell ya I have never been so shy and nervous to ask a woman to dance. I finally got the courage and Im glad i did. I absoluley fell in love with this woman on the dance floor. We just fit. She was in the process of divorce at the time, a 25 year marraige ended by her husband cheating on her with a prostitute in another country. What an Idiot, but Im glad he did it cause I wouldnt have this treasure. My OW is about 5'8, thin, perfect figure, and just absolutely radient, classy, elegant woman. Most people who have met us for the first time think she is 38 when I ask them. So she really does not physically show her age at all, which is a good thing. There has always been an attraction that we have shared for each other. The fire and the passion has always burned bright since day one. The relationship went like wildfire the first year. I think sometimes though I may have been a crutch and a rebound for her during the end of her marraige. When the divorce was final we rushed a little too quick in our relationship. We got a nice condo together and I moved SHOES and MORE SHOES of hers into the closet. I have never seen so many SHOES. The first year living together was like newly weds. We were very happy. We went through a Hysterechtemy and the starting of menopause. Menopause is cruel. Guys my own age havent got a clue whats in store for them in the future! It aint easy. The 2nd year living together things started going downhill. Her sex drive plumeted to nothing, I lost my job and was without work for 4 months and wasnt able to take her out much and do a lot of fun things, just sit at home on the couch, and the menapause thing was making her weird. I am the type of person that is a giver, i love to give attention and 110% of myself to someone. When this menopause thing hit, there was mood swings, fights, and for no reason what so ever she wanted to be by herself, and this hurt me cause I wanted to be with her and i felt like i was being pushed away. There were some days we would be enjoying ouselves and she would just start crying for no reason whatsoever. She blames the hormones cause I could never get anything out of her as to what is makin her so upset. I tried to be the psychologist in the relationship which was ok at times, but out of pure innocence it put her down emotionally. She started to feel like she wasnt good enough. What she couldnt see was that I beleived in her. She got sick of my talks and I got tired of initiating sex all the time. She had the worst time getting her motor started herself and initiate something intimate. Like an Old Ford pickup (only the owner knows how to start it) Id have to hold my tongue just right and shed start right up and WATCH OUT!!! but i was really tired of initiating it. Then fights started and they got bad. at the end of the second year she decided that it was not good for us to live together anymore and that we were just killing each other emotionally. That decision of hers about killed me inside and my how that hurt. So we moved into our own Apartments. Now granted people I thought she would MOVE and like Really MOVE. Umm, She moved right down the street from me. I never figured that out. I think she still wanted to be close to me somehow.
Well we both started going on with our lives. I met a younger women closer to my age and took her dancing one night, she failed to tell me she had a jealous ex boyfriend. We happend to run into him at the dance hall and I ended up with a black eye and swollen knuckles. I told myself thats it, I have had enough of these stupid younger women.
In the meantime, my OW found herself an older man. According to her they went to the movies for a date one night, he was a lousy kisser and then she realized that night how much she still loved me. She even told the guy she was with about me and he understood. So they broke everything off.
Well a month passed by, My new job was awesome, bought a brand new truck, and was just doing things for myself for a change. Then I get a phone call one night and its my OW, shes crying on the phone and telling me she misses me so much. I missed her more. So we started seeing each other again, but took it slow. Giving her the space she needed when she needed it. And both of us understanding each others needs. We sat down and made a list for each other on things we like to see from each other. So, she got some medication to help balance her her hormones, she started taking avlmil to help give her a boost (hasnt worked yet - 6 weeks, will let yall know if it does work) but shes trying and that means the world to me. Ive hit the gym to buff up (she loves her so called Stud Puppy), and worked on myself to be more emotionally stable, doing more for myself than for her (its what she wanted). Giving her the space she needs when she needs it with a smile on my face and love in my heart. We have a new respect for each other and the love we have is more than it ever was. We dont see each other on Tuesdays and Thursdays so she can do her girly stuff, but we are together on Mondays, Wednesdays and all weekend. We have had a couple of disagreements these past 8 months but our love is so strong that we get through things like that easily now.
We travel a lot now, we love to go camping, the great outdoors, and have had an absolute blast together. And I think thats the key to this relationship, we hav fun together in everything we do. Now the question of marriage has come up, we both feel that we could do it, however we are both scared to death. She is more concerned about me not having the things in life that i deserve, like kids, and to grow old with somebody. She feels like her life is downhill and scared that somebody I will leave her for a younger woman. I dont feel these feelings at all, but I am scared, i admit it. I do know that me and her have a love that is so special that may never be found again. I cant imagine my life without her and she feels the same about me.
My Family's (Mom) support means a lot to me as well. I have the support of my mom, she stood up for me with the rest of the family when they were snickering, talking behind my back and wondering why i had picked such an older woman. My mom set them in their place saying "He could not have picked a better woman to be with." My mom and the rest of my family get along great with my older woman, which feels great to me.
The question to the world...
Should we marry?
My Question to you people on this board is id like to hear if marraige has worked or not.
Im not only posting this message for myself. but any feedback I will foward to her, she needs just as much comfort, understanding, and help making this decision as I do.
Thanks.
However, one this woman walked into my life that night and like they say, love will find you when you are not looking for it. A friend of mine was dancing with my OWs friend and he told me that she was by herself and wanted to dance with somebody. I tell ya I have never been so shy and nervous to ask a woman to dance. I finally got the courage and Im glad i did. I absoluley fell in love with this woman on the dance floor. We just fit. She was in the process of divorce at the time, a 25 year marraige ended by her husband cheating on her with a prostitute in another country. What an Idiot, but Im glad he did it cause I wouldnt have this treasure. My OW is about 5'8, thin, perfect figure, and just absolutely radient, classy, elegant woman. Most people who have met us for the first time think she is 38 when I ask them. So she really does not physically show her age at all, which is a good thing. There has always been an attraction that we have shared for each other. The fire and the passion has always burned bright since day one. The relationship went like wildfire the first year. I think sometimes though I may have been a crutch and a rebound for her during the end of her marraige. When the divorce was final we rushed a little too quick in our relationship. We got a nice condo together and I moved SHOES and MORE SHOES of hers into the closet. I have never seen so many SHOES. The first year living together was like newly weds. We were very happy. We went through a Hysterechtemy and the starting of menopause. Menopause is cruel. Guys my own age havent got a clue whats in store for them in the future! It aint easy. The 2nd year living together things started going downhill. Her sex drive plumeted to nothing, I lost my job and was without work for 4 months and wasnt able to take her out much and do a lot of fun things, just sit at home on the couch, and the menapause thing was making her weird. I am the type of person that is a giver, i love to give attention and 110% of myself to someone. When this menopause thing hit, there was mood swings, fights, and for no reason what so ever she wanted to be by herself, and this hurt me cause I wanted to be with her and i felt like i was being pushed away. There were some days we would be enjoying ouselves and she would just start crying for no reason whatsoever. She blames the hormones cause I could never get anything out of her as to what is makin her so upset. I tried to be the psychologist in the relationship which was ok at times, but out of pure innocence it put her down emotionally. She started to feel like she wasnt good enough. What she couldnt see was that I beleived in her. She got sick of my talks and I got tired of initiating sex all the time. She had the worst time getting her motor started herself and initiate something intimate. Like an Old Ford pickup (only the owner knows how to start it) Id have to hold my tongue just right and shed start right up and WATCH OUT!!! but i was really tired of initiating it. Then fights started and they got bad. at the end of the second year she decided that it was not good for us to live together anymore and that we were just killing each other emotionally. That decision of hers about killed me inside and my how that hurt. So we moved into our own Apartments. Now granted people I thought she would MOVE and like Really MOVE. Umm, She moved right down the street from me. I never figured that out. I think she still wanted to be close to me somehow.
Well we both started going on with our lives. I met a younger women closer to my age and took her dancing one night, she failed to tell me she had a jealous ex boyfriend. We happend to run into him at the dance hall and I ended up with a black eye and swollen knuckles. I told myself thats it, I have had enough of these stupid younger women.
In the meantime, my OW found herself an older man. According to her they went to the movies for a date one night, he was a lousy kisser and then she realized that night how much she still loved me. She even told the guy she was with about me and he understood. So they broke everything off.
Well a month passed by, My new job was awesome, bought a brand new truck, and was just doing things for myself for a change. Then I get a phone call one night and its my OW, shes crying on the phone and telling me she misses me so much. I missed her more. So we started seeing each other again, but took it slow. Giving her the space she needed when she needed it. And both of us understanding each others needs. We sat down and made a list for each other on things we like to see from each other. So, she got some medication to help balance her her hormones, she started taking avlmil to help give her a boost (hasnt worked yet - 6 weeks, will let yall know if it does work) but shes trying and that means the world to me. Ive hit the gym to buff up (she loves her so called Stud Puppy), and worked on myself to be more emotionally stable, doing more for myself than for her (its what she wanted). Giving her the space she needs when she needs it with a smile on my face and love in my heart. We have a new respect for each other and the love we have is more than it ever was. We dont see each other on Tuesdays and Thursdays so she can do her girly stuff, but we are together on Mondays, Wednesdays and all weekend. We have had a couple of disagreements these past 8 months but our love is so strong that we get through things like that easily now.
We travel a lot now, we love to go camping, the great outdoors, and have had an absolute blast together. And I think thats the key to this relationship, we hav fun together in everything we do. Now the question of marriage has come up, we both feel that we could do it, however we are both scared to death. She is more concerned about me not having the things in life that i deserve, like kids, and to grow old with somebody. She feels like her life is downhill and scared that somebody I will leave her for a younger woman. I dont feel these feelings at all, but I am scared, i admit it. I do know that me and her have a love that is so special that may never be found again. I cant imagine my life without her and she feels the same about me.
My Family's (Mom) support means a lot to me as well. I have the support of my mom, she stood up for me with the rest of the family when they were snickering, talking behind my back and wondering why i had picked such an older woman. My mom set them in their place saying "He could not have picked a better woman to be with." My mom and the rest of my family get along great with my older woman, which feels great to me.
The question to the world...
Should we marry?
My Question to you people on this board is id like to hear if marraige has worked or not.
Im not only posting this message for myself. but any feedback I will foward to her, she needs just as much comfort, understanding, and help making this decision as I do.
Thanks.