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Ive dated Kelly for 6 weeks, no sex yet, but I stayed confident and knew it was just a matter of time, 6 times I asked her out 6 times she agreed and we had a great time. She is a 10, a mean beautiful and smart and mysterious.

....we had a date, she was supposed to come over for Six Feet Under Sunday night, she offered to bring dinner and model some new panties she had...good sign right?, but she didn't show, called at midnight, said she didn't have my new cell #, but she had my home # and her cell died, and that she was at the beach, and to please not be mad and that she would call tomorrow night, or Monday, or that I could call her, she would be up. My instinct was to just call that same night, and I wasn't pissed, but as time went on...and she didn't call the next night, I got pissed.... I'm only human right?...I emailed her this,

Kelly

So how was the beach? I meant to call you last night but I was out late. I am not mad at you but a little disappointed. You didn't have my new cell #, but you did have my home #. When you realized you wouldn't be back in time for Sunday, you should have called me. I could have gone to the beach too.

I was trying to say I wasn't pissed but a little disappointed, apparently, she took it the wrong way..at the very least it caused some kind of emotional reaction, don't you think if she can break a date whenever she wants it gives the wrong message too? I was trying to be delicate here But I should have done it on the phone, to be able to hear her reaction.

I also called her twice leaving two upbeat messages on the same day, like as if nothing happened and asking her out, to try and repair it. I haven't been all clingy with her over the last 6 weeks we have dated regularly....., actually that's where my problem started I think...., I asked her out for Sunday on purpose so she'd think "what's he doing this weekend?", she even sounded surprised, saying "ok I guess ill hang out with the girls on Saturday"...anyways ...I havent gotten a reply from the email or the voicemails.

what I've done is in the past, but knowing what you know now, how can I fix this, is time the only indicator? If I haven't been all clingy, until Tuesday with an email and two voicemails.....I don't think ill come off as a weak dude, but now I definitely got to wait for her to call or at least email me right? And if I don't hear from her, when is it ok to show I'm still interested and call without coming off as a wimp or needy? Or at this point since I've laid a lot on the line, do I have to wait for to call or be done with it? Help a brotha out.

Roman, if it were me, and someone I made a date with stood me up to go to the beach, I'd be pretty ticked off. And, when she didn't call when she said she would the following night, that would irritate me, too.

Sounds to me like the woman is trying to give you the slip. But, if you feel that she has a valid reason for standing you up twice, then all you can do is wait. But, if it were me, I'd definitely be telling her how I felt about her not showing up or calling when she said she would.

Gillian knocks on Joe's door....hello....Joe....are you home. He'll drop in soon I hope.

Anyway, Roman, you definitely do not have any kind of "OW/YM" problemo here. Two years difference doesn't even register on the scale.

What you have here, in my most ever-so-humble opinion, is one insensitive, discourteous lady(?). That's my first read opinion. Of course, there's always room for the second, third and fourth read, by which time I may change my opinion.

Maybe this, maybe that, maybe something else. That's why I hope wiser minds than mine drop by here and give a bro some insight.

You're an articulate, intelligent man...yes, I got all that from your post....but.....there's always a but....like I said, my gut reaction is that she's not in any kind of 'communication' mode - verbal or sexual.

Your communication is right on. Hers is somewhat lacking somehow.

I agree with you, leave it alone already.

Gillian

but gilian i dont want to leave it alone, I want a remedy here....did you read my whole post, i think this is all stemmed from her being a little insecure because i asked her out for sunday rather than saturday....Are you saying if anything is goign to work its to leave her alone for awhile?

What do you mean about her being insecure about you asking her out on a Sunday as opposed to a Saturday? I'm confused about how that, in and of itself, would make someone insecure? :confused:

Roman I dont know....if she can break dates like she does without a second thought yet throws a hissy fit and dissappears because you asked her out for a Sunday night (meaning WHO are you going to be with Saturday night) then youve got big issues.
She didnt feel the need to be considerate of your feelings when she stood you up, did she?

And nah this isnt an age gap issue, just a relationship issue.

Im curious---are you interested in her for another date because maybe it will be when she finally puts out??

Or are you interested in her as a person(sex included ofcourse)?

I totally want a relationship with this girl, I just think that so many guys could be after i need to play my cards right,

do you think I overreacted by calling her out on what she did? with the email...then to try and defuse it i called her cell twice and left two voice mails...acting as if nothing happened....do you think a girl whos 30 would do this, or after obviously having feelings for me turn around after maybe one day of being somewhat clingy? or needy? showing emotions etc?

To set it exactly straight, last date, last saturday I (**mod edit**)in her car in a club parking lot. I should have went after the *****, that same night after the club........she called me one hour after the date.....4am, but I didnt get the call, I called her in the morning but just briefly.....then I called wednesday night...anyways I did plan on making a serious move very soon. I normally get sex too soon and get bored, I liked her because of the challenge but maybe I put her on a pedestal and should have been more aggressive

modedit jlee 06/17/5:30 a

I don't think you overreacted at all. Now, possibly, it would have been best to discuss it over the phone or wait until you were together in person. But, I don't see the big deal about sending her that email myself. I personally think you're worrying too much about whether you were seeming to be needy.

Based upon what you've told us, I feel that she was in the wrong, you were in the right, and that she owes YOU an apology... not the other way around.

Originally posted by roman96
To set it exactly straight, last date, last saturday I (**mod edit**)in her car in a club parking lot. I should have went after the *****, that same night after the club........she called me one hour after the date.....4am, but I didnt get the call, I called her in the morning but just briefly.....then I called wednesday night...anyways I did plan on making a serious move very soon. I normally get sex too soon and get bored, I liked her because of the challenge but maybe I put her on a pedestal and should have been more aggressive



Soooo, maybe this IS all about sex.

look part of a relationship is about sex.....she is as kinky as I ma, and loves teasong me, and that I stay in control ...she showed me how she can fit her entire hand in her mouth etc......Im worried actually I want agressive enough....what do you think?

Roman, you're asking us to tell you if you were wrong when you sent her that email. We can only base our opinions on what you've told us so far. Based upon what you've said, I still feel, as I posted above, that she is the one in the wrong.

EDIT: I want to add that I do not feel that by being more aggressive sexually, that would make any difference. It doesn't seem to me that she is very interested in you if she stood you up and doesn't return your calls.

I agree...she doesnt seem interested.

BTW---too much information!
http://teachers.sduhsd.k12.ca.us/dheflin/SouthPkBarf.gif

LOL Ravenglow -- I love your gifs. You're absolutely right and I should have commented about what he said in my response.

Roman, you may want to be careful about what you say. This is not the Sexually Speaking forum.

I think that if you have to obsess and question every little move you make, than it becomes nothing more than a chess game, or a tennis match. Games. You did what you could. The ball is in her court now. Leave it alone. If she's interested, she'll let you know. If not, she'll let you know too. Even silence is a form of communication.

Roman, you might wanna edit your fourth post. That's a little too explicit for this part of the forum.

Roman,

What I think is that... #1 trying to hard and #2 worrying to much. If the fish aint biting dont worry about it, there are more out there. Be your own dog, most women that i have known dont like a man that is too aggressive. They want a man that has something going for himself besides her. Play your cards right by not falling all over her cause she sticks her hand in her mouth or because she smiles at you. Dont be a jerk to her either, but get your mind off her the best you can and do other things that make yourself happy. If its meant, she will come looking for ya and she will want to give you attention "Hey Look at me". Even then dont give an inch, let her make the move, be nice, but dont if she doesnt oh well its not meant to be. If I were you I would quit calling. If she calls you great, if not have a plan B and go out and find another 10.