18 year age gap....

Hi I am new to this and just want some advice and hopefully some encouragement...I have met a wonderful man online....He is 20 , I am 38. I seem to be the one with the age gap issue.... But I can't help how I am beginning to feel about him.

We are suppose to meet in November and I am looking so forward to it but at the same time. I am so concerned about other peoples attitude and the whole thing scares me. We have so much in common, talk daily for hours (free long distance :) ) we do the IM thing...webcam. I am so falling for him and so scared. I dont know if this can be reality. He is what I have been looking for in a man for so long, but yet I keep asking myself, "How can this work" . I am fallin for him hard and need some advice......Thank you..

Hey hon... you are 38 and he is 20? I think you are on the wrong board...

Can a mod plz move the thread for her?

Yes it can work!!! I am 36 and my b/f is 19. We met online too and did the LDR thing for quite sometime. Its hard and scary I know. This is an exciting stage in your relationship. Hang in there!

Welcome to ageless Laytna.

I also met my fiance online. And, we also have an 18 1/2 year age gap. I am 46 and my fiance is 27. We also live in different countries. You can have a successful age gap relationship if both parties are committed to it and there is enough interest that one of you eventually will decide to live near the other one.

By the way, if you are long-distance, which I am assuming you are, we have a long distance relationship forum where you can post for support if you need some in that regards.

I met my husband online. He was in France and I was in the U.S. I'm 26 years older. We are super happy and don't have problems due to our age difference. No, we do have one "problem." He'd like to have a baby, and I think I'm too old to even get pregnant or sustain a pregnancy. He says, though, that he would never leave me because of that, so it's not a huge problem, really.

Latyna, I also met my boyfriend online! I was here at ageless where I had come because of an ex and the problems I had with him, my boyfriend came for the same reason, then he stopped coming for a while and when he came back, he was single and so was I!

He's 16 years younger, lives in the US, I live in Europe, but we meet as often as possible and we are planning to move in together soon.

I met him in real life 4 months after we started flirting and dating virtually. It was the most beautiful thing! We both have wonderful memories of that week in London, when our love proved to be more than virtual. I wish you the same feeling, the same happiness, because it's the best thing that has happened to me, romantically speaking.

Keep us posted and yes, join us LDR couples, we have given each other a lot of support!

Latyna,

I see no reason why it cannot work. I am the YM at the south end of an eighteen year age gap, and I find my lady to be lovely and attractive. Like yourself, she is the one who worries about the age thing. In truth, although I know that it is there and have thought things through to their logical conclusion (the fact that she'll be eighty when I am sixty two), her age really doens't figure into how I see her. Nor should it. I love her, not her age.

Being about your own age, I can appreciate the advantages dating a thirty eight year old would have had when I was twenty. For one, fewer head games. People our age have generally tired of games, and alot of guys hated to play them when we were young.

Best of luck to you both!

Danelectro

I'D LIKE TO SAY...thanks again for the support.. Ok here is another issue especially for the ones who met online and had LD relationships.......... We have been talkin for almost a month,...I know a short time....and We both feel so connected....We actually believe we are in love..but my logic tells me it has to be something else..cuz there is no way we can love each other... I just isn't "rational". Right?

U know we now talk til we fall asleep on the phone... I mean we don't talk when its time to go to sleep we just fall asleep listening to each other....I love it...

I have met online men before and met them in person...but never have i felt this way....So is this possible? Or is it our minds playin tricks on us? The age thing is still an issue...He says his mom knows about me, but I dont know. All I know is that he will be here in 5 months (seems like 4ever) and if we continue to feel this way he will stay. How rational is this??? I know its not....has anyone else felt this way? BTW, i was a person who said " u can't fall in love online, it dont make no sense" and I also said, " u can't possibly fall in love with someone u never met in person." Boy wut a laugh... :D

I also used to say that it was impossible to fall in love with someone you met online, but I feel differently now that it happened to me. :D But, then Remi and I talked for about 8 months and viewed each other on cam before I began to consider the possibility that I was in love with him.

I do, however, feel that real love doesn't typically happen that fast. I think that a month is not long enough to know whether it's infatuation versus real love. I think that love has to develop over time. And, I do believe that it's critical to meet in person to know if what you feel online is real or not.

Oh heck. Who says falling for someone is a rational experience? I was 35 and fell in love with a nineteen year old. We'll have been together for five years next month.

It can work if you both want it too enough, just like any relationship. The important thing is who you both are, how compatible you are, and how much you both want it to happen.

It may not last forever, but that is true of many relationships between thirty eight year olds, too.

I know you didn't ask for this vast age difference, but we don't always get exactly what we ordered.

The question is what to do now that it has happened. And I'm always in favor of giving things a try and explore what they are and what they may become.

Special people are rare. They don't come along every day. Be happy that you've bumped into one and stay open to the possibilities.

What other people think won't keep you warm at night or feed you chicken soup when you're sick.

Good luck and have fun!

What they all said! I have a 14.5-year age-gap, and we have been together almost 4 years. He is a really wonderful man, and I appreciate him to no end. I very rarely, if ever, think about the age-gap within our relationship anymore at all. I have never had anyone make a rude or hateful comment out in public, except in the little tiny town I live in where EVERYONE knows my business and actually knows our ages...(and even then they have only commented behind my back).

He has been better to me than any other man I have ever been with, and I am very grateful for him.

Don't let your worries keep you from enjoying the time you have with this wonderful new man. Take a chance!

It's so wonderful to read the excitement in your post! I'm happy for you and I hope it all works out!!

I didn't meet my husband online, but I know of several couples who met online and have since married. It's definitely possible!!!

We have a 16 year age gap and we've been together for 6 years, happily married for 2!!

Best of luck to you both!!!!

Hey everyone, I once again would like to say thank you and I wish u all Best Wishes... I told my YM today that we are not goin to happen. Though I feel as if he is everything I have been looking for, I feel that I would be causing him to make a mistake. He still has his whole life ahead of him and I don't want to hold him back from anything. I believe at his age (20) that he doesn't really know what he wants. One day he will wake up and wonder what did he get himself into.. I am not being negative, just tryin to be realistic and logical. I feel bad cuz I have hurt him, but like I told him, someday he will thank me.

You all are great..God Bless and Peace

Latyna (Suzi) :(

Sorry to hear you gave up so soon. My fiance' and I met online.....we quickly determined we were meant for each other...and he moved here to be with me from 2 states away...and all after a very short time as most people measure these things. I agree with Dragonfly....don't drop him because ~you~ think he doesn't know what he wants. If you let him go, it should be because YOU know that he isn't right for you for whatever reason..not because you think you know what is right for him. :(

Well, it does take a lot more than just "liking" the other person. The truth is, it's an adventure and you have to have the guts for it.

Originally posted by Latyna
Hey everyone, I once again would like to say thank you and I wish u all Best Wishes... I told my YM today that we are not goin to happen. Though I feel as if he is everything I have been looking for, I feel that I would be causing him to make a mistake. He still has his whole life ahead of him and I don't want to hold him back from anything. I believe at his age (20) that he doesn't really know what he wants. One day he will wake up and wonder what did he get himself into.. I am not being negative, just tryin to be realistic and logical. I feel bad cuz I have hurt him, but like I told him, someday he will thank me.

You all are great..God Bless and Peace

Latyna (Suzi) :(

Latyna, your age gap with him is the same as the one I have with my fiance, Remi. We also met online. I also thought that I knew what was best for him. I also tried to push him away.

Then, one day, his very wise roommate reminded me that it is Remi's place to decide what is best for him. That's not my job. That was the wisest advice I have received so far.

Hi,
I'm new here but had to reply to this post. I feel horrible that you let age be the reason to end a relationship. I'm 19 years older than my husband and this has been the BEST relationship I've ever been in. We've been together for 8 years, married for 6 years and have a 5 year old daughter. I was like you at first, reluctant and was going to end it because my parents disowned me and too many people were talking. But I am so glad my feelings for him were stronger than my doubts. Age doesn't matter, you should just be happy that in this world, you found someone to love and HE LOVES YOU BACK!!

Good luck to you