the best things about being single

hi, i recently ahd a break up with an ow which was extremely painful, i was down and out but i have gotten over it. this is an invitation to all people who are currently single because they have been let down or just broken up, to write about the best things about being single.

i personally think that i gave the relationship everything and it did not work out(in fact it ended very badly) and so as a result i am single and may remain so for a long long time but, so what...

people in relationships will not understand because when you are in one the world is rosy, but i think that we blame ourselves somehow when we break up.

so lets not blame ourselves, lets tell it as it is and ceklebrate our singlestatus.

ok then write in while i make a compilation of what i think are the best things about being single

I'm not single, but if I were I'd be in another country teaching English. Possibly Japan. So...

Single people can travel anywhere they want at a moment's notice.

Hey terminal - hey...I hear ya about the breakup thing:( So right now, I dont have alot of good things to say about being single, but I'm trying to think positively here lol. I was in a horrible marriage for 19 years, and after I got divorced, I absolutely loved being single. I took 4 years to get "me" back - to discover who "I" was, what I liked, didnt like...to "find myself" lol. Anyway, I finally got a computer and discovered that wow!! there are other people on here...LOTS of other people!! And I also discovered this place. I've met two wonderful guys online, had two wonderful LD relationships and discovered life outside rural Texas :p But, since my last breakup, I've realized I dont like the single life much anymore. At this point in my life, I've found I DO like having someone to discuss the day with, someone to share the really glorious news with or the really crappy news with, someone to talk about my dreams with and to hear his dreams as well, someone to plan a future with, shoot! just someone to watch a movie and eat pizza with! - I miss all those things. BUT, I'm trying really hard to not dwell on the negative aspects of being single and not have a continuous "pity party"!! SO, with that said, the best and most important thing I can say about being single right now, is that I'm excited about beginning a new chapter of my book of life. I'm looking forward to meeting Mr. Right WHEN he comes along, not IF !! And I'm looking forward to having someone to share all those things I talked about and more with him;)

So BRING EM ON!! ALL THE GOOD ASPECTS OF BEING SINGLE!!

Southerngal

Hi all,
Well...I'll can echo what Southerngal said....That I'm wanting someone,that I can talk to,openly about her day,her dreams,her fears,or life's what-evers.Of course Ive never been married,hope so one day....
LOL.....if she's out there,Im still single and looking.And I'm all ears.


Michael

Originally posted by southerngal
I've realized I dont like the single life much anymore. At this point in my life, I've found I DO like having someone to discuss the day with, someone to share the really glorious news with or the really crappy news with, someone to talk about my dreams with and to hear his dreams as well, someone to plan a future with, shoot! just someone to watch a movie and eat pizza with!

I hear ya SG! I had a girlfriend diss me the other day for wanting companionship. She said "I swear! Why do you NEED a man?!"
I told her "I don't NEED one, I just WANT one for some companionship!" I get tired of being chastised by gf's (who btw have boyfriends) for wanting someone to play with, do things, discuss stuff. It's not a matter of need. I can do just fine on my own, thank you. I told her to quit harassing me for having the same desire that ALL humans have.... someone to eat pizza and watch a movie with! (maybe some other stuff too) :p
~LOL~

As far as the original question....... hmmmm..... gotta ponder that one and get back to ya. :rolleyes:

There are benefits to single status, just having a hard time thinking of some at the moment. Maybe the fact that the future is full of surprises and unopened doors? You can do what YOU want to do without having to answer to anyone? More time for yourself to grow and learn new things? Less expectations to feel like you have to live up to? The thrill of "shopping"? hehe

Bring it on....... I need to hear some good ones myself. :D

These look "male" oriented from a website.

Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.

I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants.

I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please.

I could actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls, I'm here".

I'd be painting the town instead of the house.

When I get home after work, I don't have to start work again.

I could show my girlfriend where I live.

I'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.

The only weeds I'd be concerned with are the ones I'm rolling.

I would have saved $372,416.21 in groceries by now.

I wouldn't catch so much grief about those skid-marks in my underwear!

I'd get to see what my paycheck looks like.

I'd get to see what my credit cards look like.

You can see a different face when you wake up in the morning, every day of the week!

Going to a strip club doesn't have to be a covert mission.

Bachelors don't have Mother-in-laws.

I wouldn't have to watch sub-titled French films.

I could home drunk to sleep, instead of under a bridge.

I could use my own name at hotels.

I wouldn't have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere.

When asked his opinion, a single guy can say "Hell yes, you're fat!".

Here are a few of mine! ********************************

1) Don't have to worry about shaving my legs every day!

2) Don't have anyone to have to ask.. "Does this make me look fat?"

3) I can find the TV remote.

4) I only have to know where my things are (and ok, the kids too), not where he left his things last!

5) Morning breath is ok!

6) I can eat dinner standing in front of the refrigerator if I want!

7) I'm the only one snoring!

8) NO IN-LAWS!

Come on ladies.. we all pretty much had the same ex-husband! The best reason for being single, is ..

IT'S BETTER TO BE ALONE, THAN WITH SOMEONE AND WISHING YOU WERE ALONE!

:)

single =

being able to fart in bed.. I mean a GOOD one

not making dinner if I don't feel like it

wearing flannel pjs til noon

not listenening to the tv blaring all day

staying online more than is reasonable

not having to listen to mundane blather about how their day at work went, same with not having to listen to some sporting event or some scifi show

house a mess... oh well

my kids are perfect

I can meet a new man every week and each of them are so HOT...for a week at least

Originally posted by Genevieve
IT'S BETTER TO BE ALONE, THAN WITH SOMEONE AND WISHING YOU WERE ALONE!
Oh, how I can relate to this!! :D

The things I appreciate about being single:

Having a whole queen-size bed to myself
Everything stays right where I left it
Never finding strange hairs in my hairbrush
When something gets used up or runs out, I know about it
Never having to report to anyone what I'm doing, or who I'm doing it with, or what time I expect to be home
Playing music ALL THE TIME, or the same song on repeat 20 times
Nobody sneaking the dogs extra treats or table scraps
Nobody questioning the amount of time I spend online!!

I am in love with that Avatar, Savannah!!

ya know...I think I'm gettin' the hang of this now and my memory is returning LOL.

I dont have to cook if i dont want to - and by golly, I havent in forever!! If I want to each nachos every stinkin' night, I CAN!!

If I wanna use paper plates every night - I CAN!

If I wanna take a nap - I CAN!

If I wanna watch chick flicks - I CAN!

I DONT fart in bed or let the hair on my legs grow out, but I COULD IF I WANTED TO !!

Yeah, I lay cross-ways in the bed sometimes - takin up the whole thing!!

Dont have to listen to any snoring!!

And yeah...I can stay on this freakin computer as long as I want to!!!:p

So yeah, being single has its good points. But I was thinkin on the way home awhile ago, that I do miss having someone to buy things for. I'm big on mushy cards, special hand-picked gifts, and surprises...but I guess I'll live LOL.

And amen to you sista Gen - I'd NEVER go back to a rotten marriage just to have a man!! Like you said, i'd rather be by myself the rest of my life than that!! And yeah, I'd LIKE to have someone in my life, but i dont NEED anyone!

Originally posted by Savannah
Oh, how I can relate to this!! :D

The things I appreciate about being single:

Having a whole queen-size bed to myself

Playing music ALL THE TIME, or the same song on repeat 20 !!


Excellent!



Eating leftover mac & cheese for breakfast
Leaving the bathroom a mess when I'm late for work
Spending money on my skincare stuff, my hair, my toes, etc. instead of on food
Not having to be anywhere in particular after work if I don't WANT to! (I can run, do yoga, or go flirt with the guys at one of the local restaurants/bars - all on a whim!)
Eating dinner on a bedtray and drinking wine on my bed while watching endless re-runs of Law & Order (L&O addict)

Originally posted by southerngal
And amen to you sista Gen - I'd NEVER go back to a rotten marriage just to have a man!! Like you said, i'd rather be by myself the rest of my life than that!! And yeah, I'd LIKE to have someone in my life, but i dont NEED anyone!

*nods head and agrees* ;)

These are great!

You can also talk on the phone to whomever you like, as long as I like without being monitored and timed!

Originally posted by MariaLux
I am in love with that Avatar, Savannah!!
You wished for beagles..... :p

I think the person who enjoys their own company is more likely to enjoy the company of others. It says a lot about your emotional availablity and growth. I am leary of people who NEED someone. Yes, we all get lonely, yes deep down we all want love. But I think it is much healthier to WANT someone in your life to share things with, than NEED someone. Terminal, I think this was a great idea, because sometimes we bring ourselves down thinking that we are alone, when really.. here we are counting our blessings, and the good things we have in our lives. Even if they are silly things! It doesn't seem so bad. Yes, I too think it would be nice to have that someone special to share things with.. but life is still good! I mean, we wouldn't want to share it if it wasn't, right? :D

Here are a few more I thought of:

I can spend endless hours at a bookstore or any store for that matter.

I get a whole Queen size bed to myself too, and if I want to sleep like a starfish, I can! And I get to pick the kind of bedding I want on it!

Same for furniture and home decorating. My home is my personal style, how I want it! :p So if the singing bass fish clashes with my decor...

For those of us with kids... I'm the boss.. no arguments over kids.. and now that I think of it, no arguments over money or sex either!

No wondering what he/she is thinking!

Time to focus on other hobbies.

Time for personal/self reflection... and I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

Oogle hot ym and not feel guilty! (haha!)

Originally posted by Genevieve


Come on ladies.. we all pretty much had the same ex-husband!


You all married the same guy? Dang! What was it that ALL of you saw in him??? :confused:

Must be something I don't got... :(

You know...for the life of us, we cant remember why we married "him"!!!!:eek:

I agree, SG -- I can't remember what I saw in him! :confused:

I was hoping one of the other wives could clue me in....... :D

i think gen is 100% right about a person who enjoys their own company being able to enjoy other people's company.

i think its social programming. society some how gives the picture that although you might be single you better not like it.

even if we are single it seems we have to constantly look for company, so that we can some how erase the single tag.

and friends are the worst in some ways. the feel we have to do something, lets set this person up etc .

i mean so many people are in crappy relationships and so many single people would be so much better off if they stopped this lunacy of thinking that being alone is unimaginable.

people i fear, forget to devote energy and time to one person, and that's themselves.

i love being alone, reading etc. how can my happiness be only dependant on another person.

i dont know what it is but its not right.

there are so many pleasures in life that we would enjoy if we did not succumb to it.

being with some one is great. abnsolutely. but at the end of the day being a son, daughter, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc etc are roles.

at the core we are an individual. why do we think that individual is so weak?

Originally posted by terminal
being with some one is great. abnsolutely. but at the end of the day being a son, daughter, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc etc are roles.

at the core we are an individual. why do we think that individual is so weak?
Perhaps the people who feel that they "need" another person are those who define themselves exclusively in terms of those roles, and are unable to find their identity as an individual without the social milieu?

Just a thought.

Well I'm 22 and I have been in and out of relationships and I feel as though I never been loved. The best thing about being single is the hope that the next person I bump into will be that special someone that will love me for who I am. It's also nice to be relieved from the responsibity of a relationship. Even though I feel it's worth the effort if it's the right person it's still dedication and work on both parts. It has it's up's and downs but I always try to be very true to myself while not being unfair to my partner.
It's a huge emotional battle when you slowly give yourself to another person. It can be scary, fun, and sad all at the same time. So not having that emotional turmoil can be Very Very relaxing after you get over the break up. You have more freedoms, less anxiouty, concern but then you lose the feelings, of passion, butterflies and happiness that person bestows you.

It does kind of suck having the tag "nice guy though" I mean I don't have the bad type of nice guy tag like overduing it with showing gifts, and trying to buy their love but generally that's the name I get. I also don't compromise my self constantly with a 1,000 sorrys and live for them how they want me to be. I don't want to be judgemental but it just hurts seeing so many women pick guys that' don't treat them right. I'm just waiting for the special person who will enjoy my compassion, sensitivty, affection and dedication that I provide. I'm just ending the best relationship I ever had so I dunno how tough it will be being single again hopefully I can get over it quickly so I can enjoy being single again for awhile but it really really hurts.

Ok I changed my mind hehe #1 best thing.

1: I don't have to hear the closet insecure girls looking for an escuse to break my heart easy, that all of a sudden out of the blue moon say "You're a Nice guy but I'm not good enough for you"

I had to think about this one for a bit. The best things about being single:
a) I don't have to worry about being cheated on.
b) I don't have to hear those words, "I don't want you any more."
c) I get my King size waterbed to myself. No waves in the middle of the night.
d) I leave the toilet seat down because I am the antithesis of the typical male.

Originally posted by Raven Magdalene
While going potty?

Just j/k! ;)

No, no :)
I actually leave the seat and cover down because I like it that way. I used to live with two women in the house, so I know what can occur if it's left up...plus it's not a big deal, between the cover and the seat, to put at least the seat down. There is no intensive labor involved in that action.

http://static.redjupiter.com/images/2020Hindsight/WhatReal.jpg

Eating dinner on a bedtray and drinking wine on my bed while watching endless re-runs of Law & Order (L&O addict)

...and I thought I was the only one. Well as someone who is in the process of becoming single again let me say that the benefits are fast outweighing the negatives.
Lying in bed without worrying about the SO stomping around the house in a bad mood that he can't explain.
Trying to stimulate the senses and having that rejected. Ah yr candles and music and great food and the dog conjured up a beautiful memory ravenglow.
Wasting another friday night in front of the TV when I could be out with the girls (but that would cause another sulk).
Sitting around the house doing whatever without having to answer the interminable "what are you doing now? - like I know!!!
Having cleaning fits because the house is a pigsty and thats how I operate - too busy to do it in small doses, and the kids don't care.
My kids are perfect too!!!
Ah I'm laughing now, it feels so good to get some of this out.
Beating myself up - no I don't need any help, if I need to beat myself up its all my fault and the talk is in my head.
Finishing the house at my own pace, and not having someone constantly remind me of all the work that needs doing.
Laughing at my own ego, not wanting or needing to have it reinforced that I am selfish, strong, intolerant and smart. I know myself for all my strengths and faults.
Rediscovering self love and how embracing that can be. Not as good as having it with another person but predictable and memorable none the less
Doing whatever the f*** I want, when i want it how I want it without a hidden agenda
No rules.
Never being bored.
cheers chez

Raven sorry I got your name wrong d'oh!! Enjoy yr walk dogs r so much fun aren't they, my border collie died two months ago and I miss him so much. Haven't been able to replace him. I'm not even going to try and replace Daniel I'm just going to have fun rediscovering myself. Relationships are such hard work and require so much cimmittment I think that is the antithesis of romance and you do question is this the life I want., constantly thinking of another person's needs and perceptions. One day I will get it right for now I just need to get over it and focussing on the positives of this particular choice has been very helpful. thanks

wishing you and all of us all the very best

Being single... when I was raising my children alone, it was hard, and can 't really find too many positives in it. But now that I have an empty nest (and have NEVER cried over that fact!), I think what I relish most about being alone is the QUIET! I am not a music fanatic nor a tv one. And I cannot undertand people who need background noise almost 24/7. Yesterday was the first day in 3 days that I even turned it on or I should say plugged it in as Friday night I unplugged my stuff due to an electrical storm. I like the solace that quietude gives me as the world is just too darn loud and noisy... and silence has now become a commodity, I think.
PS. Also the fact that I do not have to COOK if I don't wanna! :D

Let's hear it for quiet! I have been TV-less for the last 3 years and truely haven't missed it! :)

Interesting you should all mention silence because when I was single over the past several years, silence in the mornings before my children woke up was my favorite part of the day. I am hoping that I'll still have my quiet time even after Remi and I marry. I just don't envision him waking up quite as early as me. I was always out of bed before Remi in Bucharest.

Aaah the quiet!!! It is so peaceful to wake up and have only my energy in the house. On the days the kids are at their dad's that feeling can and sometimes does last all day. I have always been a night person staying up late and seeing that stillness through very bleary eyes. Now I meditate every day at that time i look forward to being part of that stillness. Who did start that rumour about the empty nest syndrome - sure bet it wasn't a single parent!!

i think being single has got so many benefits which are esteemed members have put forward. i meean its one life and when it comes to love lets love oneself what say

suicide blonde is spot on , solace is something that we get, and we dont have to answer at all times etc etc

raven gives a wonderful account of being able to think, i personally think that she is a very talented poet from what she said and

finally kudos to inahina who has junked the idiot box.

there are so many things I love about being single I wonder sometimes why I put so much effort into meeting men...

I love the fact that is is almost 1:30am and there isn't someone in my bed pissed that I didn't come in there and "service" him about 3 hours ago...

dang the list is so long I don't know where to begin,

I decide where the money goes
I decide what's for dinner
I decide how to raise my son
The TV IS OFFFFFF OFFFF OFFFFF... did I mention the TV is off?

On and on the list goes...

BUT... IF I MET SOMEONE... I mean someone that actually complimented my life... well I would be dumbfounded because in 53 years that has never happened... and I just think... maybe.. in Nessa's words, there is no cover for this pot.

The best things I like about being single...

sorry, just thinking about this has overloaded my mind. :)

Raven, interesting read by Kipnis. I especially liked this paragraph...

"When monogamy becomes labor, when desire is organized contractually, with accounts kept and fidelity extracted like labor from employees, with marriage a domestic factory policed by means of rigid shop-floor discipline designed to keep the wives and husbands and domestic partners of the world choke-chained to the status quo machinery—is this really what we mean by a “good relationship”?"

Right now, the best things about being single r:

1) I don't have anyone close questioning what I am doing and how/why I do it...... As I have stated before: this Sept I am starting University to pursue degree's in History...... This is proving an interesting experiance..... Have been told that the idea of a 48yo planning to dedicate her life to learning for the next 7 years is laughable :( Several ppl have told me I am 'TOO OLD' to learn, that the brain deteriorates an is physically unable to assimulate new data LOL Etc..........

2) There is no-one trying to wrap me in cotten wool or worrying over every little thing I do .............I may have lost 50% of the vision in my, sighted. eye but that does not make me helpless, if anything I actually see more of my surroundings then most ppl with full vision, as I HAVE to pay very close attention to everything around me to enable me to do simple things like walk along a sidewalk without blundering into everyone/everything else


LOL can anyone tell I have been given a hard time lately and it has cheezed me off a tad??? LOL

Originally posted by Shewolf
Right now, the best things about being single r:

1) I don't have anyone close questioning what I am doing and how/why I do it...... As I have stated before: this Sept I am starting University to pursue degree's in History...... This is proving an interesting experiance..... Have been told that the idea of a 48yo planning to dedicate her life to learning for the next 7 years is laughable :( Several ppl have told me I am 'TOO OLD' to learn, that the brain deteriorates an is physically unable to assimulate new data LOL Etc..........

2) There is no-one trying to wrap me in cotten wool or worrying over every little thing I do .............I may have lost 50% of the vision in my, sighted. eye but that does not make me helpless, if anything I actually see more of my surroundings then most ppl with full vision, as I HAVE to pay very close attention to everything around me to enable me to do simple things like walk along a sidewalk without blundering into everyone/everything else


LOL can anyone tell I have been given a hard time lately and it has cheezed me off a tad??? LOL

Don't you dare listen to them!!! Especially the part about going to school. My mother went to college at age 52 and did very well. I'm sure you will, too. :)

Originally posted by Shewolf
Right now, the best things about being single r:

1) I don't have anyone close questioning what I am doing and how/why I do it...... As I have stated before: this Sept I am starting University to pursue degree's in History...... This is proving an interesting experiance..... Have been told that the idea of a 48yo planning to dedicate her life to learning for the next 7 years is laughable :( Several ppl have told me I am 'TOO OLD' to learn, that the brain deteriorates an is physically unable to assimulate new data LOL Etc..........
LOL

I was 50 when I got my bachelors degree. I am 53 and working on my Masters Degree... and yes it is more difficult than when I was 20... but doable. I read an article about the different ways a brain learns at different ages, there are actually some advantages to the older brain, but I can't remember them now LOL, short term memory loss you know.

1) I don't have anyone close questioning what I am doing and how/why I do it...... As I have stated before: this Sept I am starting University to pursue degree's in History...... This is proving an interesting experiance..... Have been told that the idea of a 48yo planning to dedicate her life to learning for the next 7 years is laughable Several ppl have told me I am 'TOO OLD' to learn, that the brain deteriorates an is physically unable to assimulate new data LOL Etc..........

Shewolf~

A few years ago when I was going to college, there was a woman in one of my classes who was 73... so, good luck to you! You can do it and we are never too old to learn. Life is a learning experience, whether we are taking classes in college or just learning in the school of hard knocks, lol, we are learning!:D

I have been single for a long time. I haven't really noticed anything wonderful about singlehood. Up until I retired I worked . I was on salary so I worked as long as it took. I took college classes as a regular thing. Generally only one or two per year. I had to handle all of the expenses and arrangements for everything. Having been married to that guy we all were, I was also helping my children thru college, or helping them on low incomes in the military with small children. One of my sons has his bachelors, 2 masters and a doctorate. Now he wants to go to Law school. I looked after my mom with Alzheimers for many years. It was very hard, in fact impossible to convince my brother that mom needed full time supervision. I finally had to retire early to care for her. I sent one of my grand children to college. I try to help some of the others as much as I can. I live with my children, but it seems as an extra wheel. I feel obligated to help out, after all, they are letting me live with them. But I miss someone to tell my little triumphs to, to share a hug, to share my inner thoughts. You can't "talk" to your kids. Being single is, mom can go, she doesn't have anything else to do. She can help out or look after or whatever.

I got my college degree when I was 49 and I was a 3.9 gpr student. The differences in the brain for learning are mainly related to math. There are two types of learning. The one connected to the study of history, vocabulary is always able to increase. The one related to math concepts must be developed by about age 50. If you were good in algebra when younger, you'll have no problems. You may have some conceptual problems with this type of math if never exposed to it before. That is why I hurried to get my degree in by 49! I never was a math whiz.

Now I am in periomenopause phase and my memory is fuzzier, but I did well for a 4 week graduate course despite my worries. Go for it She Wolf!

Shewolf I have read a number of yr posts and just want to acknowledge yr triumphs in the face of physical adversity. My daughter is deaf in one ear and suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder so i understand the difficulties and impacts that can result from impaired abilities. Congratulations on deciding to follow yr passions. These people are jealous, of yr capacity to rise above the hurdles and achieve what you want. I finished my masters at 42 while holding down a fulltime managerial job, looking after my children, trying to manage relationships and all the other bits and pieces. You will so love university it is so much better as an older student. I learned that life skills count and life is rich. Layer upon layer of experience gives you a greater understanding of the coursework and your relationships with yr lecturers is an adult one. Also yr so used to juggling everything, how scary is an essay deadline? Its nothing compared to getting to the daycare centre before closing and making sure there is something for dinner and everything ready for the next day. Chaos all round but when they were all in bed it was my time to just melt in to the stimulation of the higher mind. The most amazing woman did part of my course with me, she was 75 and doing her PhD, had seven children and countless grandchildren, had been married forever and was pumping! We were all in awe of her energy and determination. You go girl, we never stop learning, studying just gives some structure to the process. Maybe yr "advisers" are scared of breaking free of their self imposed constraints. Enjoy enjoy enjoy.

all the posts are so positive and full of life spirit and fight, thats what life i all about. and silverlasha what you say is so true but we have to keep fighting and i am sure you are going to find someone soon, keep looking and all the best.

I needed to read this thread today. So I'm bumping for anyone else who needs it.. LOL :)