update...

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I have been away for so long. It's good to see so many new members here and I hope to meet you all soon.

Anyway, I think for the past 6 months or so, no news is good news. Things were going very welll for H and I until recently.

I saw our break up coming... we had been seeing each other less and less and even though we still spoke over the phone each night, I started to feel a bit unhappy. I knew he was very busy and life isn't easy for him. We were lying in bed one night and he told me to be patient with him as there are things he needs to sort out. He said it in a very loving gentle way. That was about 4 3 months ago... last time when we made love.

He called me his morning and said that he had to break up. He said he's been feeling uncomfortable in the relationship. I know that he's been feeling directionless and lost about life so I wasn't surprised. All in all I wasn't surprised because I had thought about breaking it off with him as well. While I was trying to be patient I felt a little left out and unloved. We had an outing planned for this sunday and I was going to use that time to have a good time and see if we can patch things up or at least talk openly.

I asked him some questions and told him that my feelings have not changed since we started seeing each other. But he feels numb. I know deep down that he loves me and that he would not do anything to hurt me etc etc. but I think at this point in time he is feeling so down about life that he is going numb and nothing really matters.

I have been thinking of many other things too and maybe I'll post again later.

I'm so sorry. ((littleme)) This sounds really difficult for you.

:(

Wow, littleme...props to you for giving it your all....

Small comfort that it is, please remember that you did--give it your all.

We cannot save other people, littleme, and it sounds like your guy needs to be saved. (From--self destructive habits, thoughts, from the rut he was in, from whatever.)

When someone we care about is floundering (in whatever they are floundering in, be it self-destructive habits, drugs, alcohol, etc.)--all we can do is throw them a life raft. We cannot BE the life raft, else we might get pulled under as well. Once they have accepted the life raft, we can help them to shore...but until they take that step to help themselves, we have to send them love, send them a float, and hope for the best.

You cannot "save" anyone except yourself.

All that being said...I wish you the best right now...and I hope that you give yourself the best right now. "Save" yourself...by giving yourself the care, love and time to heal.

Littleme.....

Welcome back hon... I was thinking of you the other day!!

I'm sorry this ended up this way.. but you gave it your all... you did everything you could to keep this relationship going... and stuck it out thru the good and bad......

Keep your chin up ok.... It will get easier.. the begininng of a break up is always a shock but it gets so much easier with time....

good luck and please stick around!! even if your not in an age gap we are all friends :)

LITTLEME!!!!!!!!
I've missed you!

Well, if I remember correctly - and please correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't this an on going thing? His directionless attitude I mean?

I remember when D and I were dating - I could tell when things weren't going well. He would distance himself. Our conversations would be short, our time together came to a hault....he had too many issues. But I was too blind to see it then, but I still knew it was coming.

I hope you are doing ok, keep us posted :)

Love Ya!
Em

Hey, littleme!

I'm sorry to read that your going through all this. I agree with Lara, you need to save yourself. I wish you only but the best.

Keep us posted. :)

Hi everyone!

It's so nice to hear from you all. I feel really bad for not posting before, but as I said no news was good news.

Anyway, thanks for all your support. I know I've done all I can for the relationship and you're all correct in that I can't save him.

I can see that this is a positive move for both of us. He has issues and he needs to solve them himself. I am too young to be waiting around for him. But I just wish it is him that I can share my life with.

Well we had an outing planned for this sunday. He emailed me and said that I'm welcome to go with him as a friend.

I know I won't have the strength to go even though i have barely cried. I have politely declined and told him that I am not angry with him or anything and that I understand and respect his decision to break up and I want him to achieve his dreams and goal and be happy.

I think I said the right thing. It is too soon to go with him as a friend.