Well thats not half the story. The thing about this crush is that this guy watched me grow up from a baby to a woman, and I'm not sure if he may agree to dating me. He see's me as a little sister because my mother pratically raised him and my big brother and he are friend's, but not very close. He calls my mother "mom", and me his little sister. I don't understand how he see's me as his little sister, I don't even remember him very well being as though he is 38 like my brother. I am feeling him so much. Every now and then he may visit, because he used to live across the street from my parents, and I want to tell him Im crushing on him, but I feel horrible. What should I do? please any advice would be appreciated!
By The Way I'm 21.
forme
07-13-2004, 01:30 AM
Here my little bit of advice, take it or leave it I'm not quite an expert but here is what I think:
It can be tricky because it sounds as though he feels like he is a part of your family, which means he has some sense of responsiblity toward you and you family (you know like looking out for you like a big brother would). This is how I would approach it, flirt in obvious ways to him but unnoticable to everyone else. He will catch on, but only if its obvious enough. If they are too subtle he might not recongize it because as your "big brother" his radar may not be on in that way (but then it again, who knows he may have a crush on you as well). I had a crush on a 41 year old last year when I was 22. He has been the basketball coach for my brother and cousin for years and my family knows him well. It was tricky getting his attention without it being obvious to everyone who would have put their .02 in about his age and being my parents friend, plus he wasn't quite tuned to my signals. So, what I did was casually tagged along when he took a few of the players out to dinner, made a little bit of fuss about sitting next to him (which still seemed innocent to everyone but me) then I lended his way slightly and touched him every chance I got, but it was never too obvious. He kinda looked at me confused like he was saying to himself "Is she flirting with me or am I trippin?". It took him a little while to catch on (or maybe believe it) before he started giving signals back. So what I'm saying leave room for his interpertation that way you have some wiggle room and if he for some reason doesn't reciprocate there is no embarrashment and the relationship is not tainted. Hope that helps.
datura81
07-13-2004, 02:29 AM
Well. Since he's already "one of the family," you have more than your average reaction to worry about from your mom/brother.
Possibly.
There's also a chance that if his feelings are mutual, that they might be more accepting of the age difference BECAUSE they already know him so well.
But I guess it doesn't matter, if you don't know how he feels about YOU. You already know you have to find that out first. I have no idea how I'd bring that up to him, though, since he sees you as a kind-of little sister. He might stay clear just because he's so close with your brother and he wouldn't want to get involved in that. Basically though, I have no idea how you're going to find out what he's feeling. Other than flirting with him and seeing if he responds to that in a positive way. That's always the first question, no matter what the age: how do I know if the feeling's mutual? So I guess, what would you do if he was just another guy? Use the opportunities to see him when they present themselves? That's all I can think of. Welcome to the boards anyway.
