Office Lunch

Okay.
Those of you who work in a office and/or "team" environment, please answer.....

Well, I am going back to work in an office environment (for the State of CA), looks like at least for the next 3-5 years. Maybe for life, hopefully I will like it that much....but hopefully I will get my dream job in the intrim.

I am an introvert. What I mean by introvert is that I recharge by being alone. I choose to have few people with whom I share my life, and in spoken word, I am just not really up for idle chit-chat ... or spending my lunch hour at work with a bunch of people with whom I have nothing in common.

My "problem" I can't stand the office world-of-chatter. I hate feeling that I have somehow broken some code-of-conduct when I don't follow "the crowd" out to their lunches. Somehow, the more I avoid the group and their gossip, the more I am not part of "The Team".

I don't eat lunch with groups of people because:

1. Lunch is generally an hour or less. I don't want to get in a car, park, sit, wait, order, eat, get in a car, walk back to work and barely have enough time to pee
-or-
I don't want to get in a car, drive through fast food, eat in a car, drive back, park, and get back feeling nauseous.

2. I don't want to gossip about those I work with. I don't want to hear it either.

3. I just don't have the kind of money it takes to maintain that lifestyle.

4. I just want to be alone to breathe fresh air and re-group as I eat something healthy. If someone wants to join me who is also quiet and needs to re-group, that is fine, and even welcome.

So, you office folk -- what are your opinions on lunch?

I've actually been told by a supervisor that I should spend more time with people from work at lunch....

(BTW, this is not high level work. This is upper-low-class wages and I feel that my unpaid lunch time is mine.)

also -- any recommendations on how I can handle lunch or these lunch-judgemental co-workers in the future?

This thread is right down my alley. I work in an office setting. And, I have the same feelings as you about my lunch time. I prefer to spend that time alone. That's just how I am. Occasionally, I like to go out with friends for lunch, but it's always the same people. I am not one to go up to someone I hardly talk to and invite them to go to lunch with me. But, usually, I have lunch alone. I enjoy my solitude.

I say that you do whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you want to go to lunch alone, then that's your business. It's your personal hour of time for you.

Lunch time?

That was a luxury I didn't have at the hospital. We would run to the restaurant, grab something to eat and consult our books to see where we should be at that exact moment, and try to swallow as much as possible because we were already late!

Then in Japan I always ate by myself, because most doctors had their own "obento" (in Japan lunch boxes are very common, you bring from home or you buy them) and I used the cafeteria. That gave me the opportunity to meet lots of people, because I'm not the "eat alone" type.

It was easy to recognize those who preferred to eat alone and I never thought anything bad about them, I respected their right. I think bosses shouldn't force their employees to socialize, if they want it to happen, they should organize a party or a pick nick, but I agree that your lunch hour is yours and you should make yourself comfortable the way you want.

I work in an office, also, Kerri and have for years. We have only 1/2 hour for lunch. I spend half of that time taking a brisk walk around the property and the other half stretching out and closing my eyes to relax in my car.

I hate office gatherings and have not participated in them for years, whether on my own time or not. They make me feel uncomfortable, even if it is a celebration for someone in my own little department--I just stay in my cubicle.

Is the supervisor who told you that at your new job? A supervisor has no right to tell you that, especially in a government job. That smells like nepotism.

As far as I am concerned, teams play ball. They don't work in offices nor do office workers function as teams. That is ridiculous business psychology parlance used to intimidate and belittle employees. We each have our own function of creating and processing data so that other employees can use them as bases or tools for their own function.

So, if I were you, I wouldn't worry about being forced to socialize with your coworkers, especially when the employer is the State of California. As long as you are polite and pleasant and get your work done, there shouldn't be a problem.

Another introvert here! And one who also hates the imposition of social interaction in the office setting. I've been told by upper management that I should have attended an after-hours office Christmas party....

Since I often use lunch time for errands, I've found that nobody questions it when I say, "Thanks, but I have to run and get dog food/shop for a birthday gift/pick up groceries" or whatever. It's unfortunate, but the best escape seems to be having other plans already. Those plans could even be something like taking a walk (everyone seems to understand about getting exercise!).

Over time, I've generally "clicked" with a particular coworker, and have naturally gravitated to spending lunch time with that person -- and three of those "lunch buddies" have come and gone over the course of my 16 years in this job. Of course, they have tended to be like-minded people who prefer to avoid the crowd too.

Originally posted by Patricia
Is the supervisor who told you that at your new job? A supervisor has no right to tell you that, especially in a government job. That smells like nepotism.
No, that was a job I had prior to this upcoming job (haven't gotten the job yet, but I will).

As far as I am concerned, teams play ball. They don't work in offices nor do office workers function as teams. That is ridiculous business psychology parlance used to intimidate and belittle employees. We each have our own function of creating and processing data so that other employees can use them as bases or tools for their own function.
Excellent! Well said!

I never understood the team thing. Especially out of the mouths of the folk who spout empty phrases like "Go the extra mile!" - what does that mean? I think people really just throw out these terms, but have never thought about what they, as individuals, do or would do to "go the extra mile".

Okay, that was over the top. sorry ;)

I think I am stronger in standing up for myself than I was in the past. Being a mommy has done this for me, as has the strength I feel from my love relationship. I am sure I will be fine.

I am just curious on everyones opinion of my original post at the top....thanks for all of your responses!

About the team concept, well as a manager, I can tell you that I do reinforce the concept with my staff. I do feel people have to work together as a team because everything one person does, or does not do, there can impact another.

A few years ago, I had quite a few staff members who didn't give a hoot what happened in the department. They were not "team players" (there's that word again. lol) The others were greatly impacted by the actions, or inactions, of those who didn't have enough respect for their team. So, we worked very hard on it as a group to change the direction in our department to one that's more team focused. Now, we are a very tight knit group... almost like a family. It's a much better working environment for everyone. And, we're much more productive as a group overall.

However, I don't believe they should be connected at the hip. I think that lunch is their special time and they should do whatever they think makes them feel comfortable.

My own boss, however, feels that I should ask some of my staff out to lunch from time to time. :rolleyes: I am a realist. I know that there may be about 2 out of 34 of them that would enjoy it. Who on earth wants to go to lunch with their manager??? LOL

Wow! This is an interesting thread!

I, too, am an introvert.... just discovered that not long ago. I knew how I was but didn't put that name on it until someone was talking to me about introverts vs. extroverts.

I don't like to share my lunch with anyone. If I ever have to, I feel somewhat put out. LOL! Luckily, I live 5 minutes from my office and I get an hour for lunch, so I go home for lunch.

The last job I had for six years, also a state job Kerri, I rarely went to lunch with coworkers. I much preferred to be by myself at a park or just in my car parked somewhere other than my workplace. It was a nice time to read or just think. It really makes sense that you recharge at that time... that is exactly how I feel.

I never found social gatherings at in the office workplace pleasant. I always eat my lunch alone at work.
;)