EMCAD80
08-04-2004, 02:03 PM
So yeah...I went through a hard break up with D....and sometimes it's still hard (10 months later...OMG, it's almost been a year) but anyway...I just came across this article....you know me and my magazines....
When He Doesn't Love You Back
Learning to Let Go
One major excuse for not saying "see ya" to a man who isn't smitten with you is the fear of spending night after night solo. Depending on howlong you've beentogether, you may have invested a lot of emotioal energy in the guy, and bailing seems like such a waste. "Also, on you you admit to yourself that it's over and you nned to get out, that can be hurtful because you feel rejected," says Janice Levine, PHD, coauthor of Why Do Fools Fall In Love
Read the Signs
The first step in cutting ties is to take an honest look athe relationship. Some clues he doesn't feel as strongly as you do:
He's distant, doesn't seem outwardly psyched to see you, or never wants to meet your family. And don't discount your guy. If you constantly feel on the brink of losing him, you probably are.
For a reality check, "make a mental list of all the things you wish the relationship was," suggest phychologist Irene Matiatos, PhD. "Then think about how it really is." Comparing fact with fiction will help you accept that his heart's not into it.
Kick Him Off His Pedestal
Ponder This: Is he really all that? Okay, really? "Often, the hurt is less about losing the man himself and more about not having someone," Levine explains. Plus, you could be seeing this guy through rose-colored glasses. So focus on his bad points instead of concetrating on the good. It will help you realize that he isn't nearly as hot or fun as you thought.
Also, don't wander down the "What's wrong with me?" road. Maybe this chump was too dumb to appreciate you, but thatdoesn't mean you're a loser. "If he doesn't lov eyou, it's because you're just not a good match, " Says Levine. So break it off. Then get involved in ego-boosting diversions like job goals and working out. That way, you'll be an even sexier catch when you meet the real love of your life.
When He Doesn't Love You Back
Learning to Let Go
One major excuse for not saying "see ya" to a man who isn't smitten with you is the fear of spending night after night solo. Depending on howlong you've beentogether, you may have invested a lot of emotioal energy in the guy, and bailing seems like such a waste. "Also, on you you admit to yourself that it's over and you nned to get out, that can be hurtful because you feel rejected," says Janice Levine, PHD, coauthor of Why Do Fools Fall In Love
Read the Signs
The first step in cutting ties is to take an honest look athe relationship. Some clues he doesn't feel as strongly as you do:
He's distant, doesn't seem outwardly psyched to see you, or never wants to meet your family. And don't discount your guy. If you constantly feel on the brink of losing him, you probably are.
For a reality check, "make a mental list of all the things you wish the relationship was," suggest phychologist Irene Matiatos, PhD. "Then think about how it really is." Comparing fact with fiction will help you accept that his heart's not into it.
Kick Him Off His Pedestal
Ponder This: Is he really all that? Okay, really? "Often, the hurt is less about losing the man himself and more about not having someone," Levine explains. Plus, you could be seeing this guy through rose-colored glasses. So focus on his bad points instead of concetrating on the good. It will help you realize that he isn't nearly as hot or fun as you thought.
Also, don't wander down the "What's wrong with me?" road. Maybe this chump was too dumb to appreciate you, but thatdoesn't mean you're a loser. "If he doesn't lov eyou, it's because you're just not a good match, " Says Levine. So break it off. Then get involved in ego-boosting diversions like job goals and working out. That way, you'll be an even sexier catch when you meet the real love of your life.