Boyfriend going to Iraq

Hello everyone! I haven't posted in a while but I read the posts here all the time. Now I need some advice. The man that I have been dating for the the past eight months is in the Marines and leaving for Iraq this week. He has asked for me to e-mail him and wait for him to return in seven months so we can continue our relationship together. He came here and visited me just this past weekend. He is seven years younger than me and we have had a great time together and have become very close. We have been dating each exclusively since we met but he has never told me he loves me. Although he has showed me in so many ways. He treats me great and is so good to me. He took me out to Calif. July 4th weekend to meet all of his family. He will be retiring from the Marines in two years and he will be moving back to Calif. We never talk about that either. I want to talk to him about these things but everyone tells me not to upset him in any way right now before he leaves. But I need to know what I am waiting on! Does he just need me to date when he gets back? I asked him for a commitment before he left but he just told me a story about when he went overseas three years ago and had been dating a girl for about six months and while he was gone, she sent him an e-mail and told him she had decided to go back to her old boyfriend. He said it broke his heart. I don't know what to do, but I need to know something. He has asked me indirectly not to date anyone else while he is gone. His family all told me that they had never seen him so happy. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

I couldn't agree more with Dragonfly's advice. I struggled with the words, but she found them.

Dragonfly,

Thank you for your post. Your advice helped so much in making me feel a little more secure. You are right and I guess I was being a little selfish. I do need to show him that I can stand by him in this difficult time.

Thanks again.

Hi Redd.

I agree with Dragonfly and think you should just chill and support him right now. If he has already introduced you to his family, that is a big plus for you. Just be strong and secure and let him know that you are waiting for him with open arms so that he keeps a warm memory of you while he is in those dangerous circumstances. Have you given him a little photo of yourself that he can carry next to his heart (if they are allowed to)?

Dragonfly, know wonder you gave such good advice since you are in the same type situation. You can relate to exactly how I feel. Best of luck to you and your guy and hope that you two will be together soon. Good to talk to someone that truly understands.

Yes, I did send a picture of myself with him to keep nearby.

Thanks.

you stand strong... you obviously love him and he loves you... and you wait for his return. let him leave knowing his woman waits for him...

we'll all be here to help you through....

I couldn't agree more with those wonderfully strong, intelligent women who have already posted. And, yes, we are here for you and will support you every step of the way.

hi, my husband is in the military, stationed in italy and due for deployment for one year in afghanistan, he has been in for two years, when he first left i was really uncertain i could even handle this type of relationship until i realized one major truth, i loved him......and he loved me, staying faithful was easy for both of us, but we do miss each other, we are stronger from this experience and i know how lucky i am to have a partner with his qualities... i just got back from seeing him this weekend and we are rock solid, we are two fortunate people who found our other halfs...

i have my days when i start to unravel but i always get back on track, at first it was VERY hard but if you want it bad enough you can do this, take off little bites, seven months for me would be a cake walk, i have done six months without seeing adam, i dont want to make this sound easy, it isnt, but it is do-able, if i start feeling sorry for myself i think of the babies yet to meet their daddy's or the mom's deployed and away from their kids, the sacrafices made by our military humbles me, they are the cream of the crop of our nation, it takes an amazing person to do what they do. i can only speak for my husband but he is the most HONORABLE man i have ever met, i would be a fool to walk away from anything this good even if it means for these few years i need to sacrafice, every day is one day closer to our life out of the military, and we plan to have a great one.

take care and follow your heart if you love him...

First of all, during the time you two have "dated", how much time have you actually been physically together? Are you sexually intimate yet? If you have been together physically (and sexually) most of the 8 months that you have been dating, and he is asking you to wait on him, I for one think you have every right to know if he loves you or not.

If you have seen each other just a weekend here and there, then it is too soon for a commitment. Just write each other and if nothing changes for the two of you, then continue when he comes back. I don't get someone asking her to wait on them when they can not say if they love her or not.
Just my 2 cents.
Good luck to you. :)