I hope this starts a trend...

So I've been meaning to write you all an update. And seriously...I'm just lazy...lol. But here it comes!

So this guy M and I - yeah, for a long time it was super great. He's funny, very friendly, slightly nerdy, but all around a great guy. I found out he was still hung up on this girl that strung him along forever. She had a boyfriend, but had "encounters" with M and finally she said:

" I really like you, but I'm not ready to leave my boyfriend...I still love him."

So she pretty much used him for sex and he had strong feelings for her. The weeks before he moves down to SD, she calls him and says:

"I'm so confused, I really like you. I love my boyfriend, but I love you too."

So - blah...whatever. So I made sure that anything that went on between us would be his decision. I didn't want to force him to be with me or do anything he didn't want to do...then...as you all remember...our first kiss happened...it was fabulous! :D

A couple weeks after that we were on the couch and he got up and picked me up, carried me to his room where we were intimate for the the first time. Sadly, I've had better....but that's not the point...it was very sweet.

Anywho, so we talk to each other every day and things are just hunky dory. Then one day...the kisses stop. He'll sleep over but he'll stay to "his side" of the bed. So I get up the courage to ask him whats up...and he says this:

"I like you, but I'm sure what I'd like from you. I like that we are friends."

Blah, blah, blah...

I'm not heart broken at all...in fact, I'm glad I asked because I don't think I really liked him any more after I really got to know him...he's a bit too nerdy for me, plus he's not very manly...I need a man, not young man....he's not a boy. But yeah, so Evett's back on the market...not really looking though. I'm tired of dating, I'm tired of lame people. So....here I am - waiting for Mr. Right (or I'll take Mr. Right now) to pop into my life...they say he comes when you least expect it.

So....as the title of this thread goes....I hope this starts a trend. I've been wondering whats been going on with some of you...Amina, Moon and Tereska....and others that I can't seem to remember right now. Now that you are finished reading mine...post or don't post...but start your own thread and let us know the updates!! :D

xoxo
Evett

Em.. I'm sorry this didnt work out for you.. but from what your saying it was mutual... sometimes things just don't work out.. and I'm sure that Mr. Right is right around that corner....

and Nice way to start this trend..... I'd love to know how everyone is doing also... this is a support site for relationships.. updates everyone!!

Em...Sorry about Mr. not-so-right. As the saying goes...there are plenty of fish, yada, yada. But seriously, you're a great lady and there are plenty of fabulous dudes out there. It sounds like this one was just not in the cards.

As to my update. UGHHHHHH!!!!!! Well, about a month and a half ago, you all may remember that I tentatively broke up with my husband. I was miserable living in Los Angeles and I wasn't sure I was quite ready to be married to him and I wasn't quite sure he was "the one" and all that. I'm 25, he's 45. So, I bailed out and moved in with a friend in NYC. I got a job I really like and fit into the community here like a glove. Everything's been great...except...I really, really miss him. I know I'm a total idiot, and I hate to be doing all this to him. I really do, but somehow, I feel like it's out of my control. So, he came out here for about three weeks and we had a great time.

As you may also remember, he's been thinking about running for office. I think that would be great for him, but it sort of exacerbates the power differential between us. But when he came east to see me, we went to the DNC and we ran into a person who would be running against him...who is, by the way, a TOTAL turd. Immediately, I thought that S. NEEDS to crush him to bits! I realized that most of my problems with our marriage were not real problems but MY problems.

He's an incredible guy who's done nothing but show me love. All I've done is show him reluctance to commit. I hate that. But...when he was my age, he was traveling the world, figuring out what he wants to do with his life. He's got to understand that I need to do the same thing. Age Gap relationships are NOT always the same as non-AGR's. The truth is, we ARE in different places in our lives. True, we love eachother, but he's got to understand that I have a lot of figuring out to do. He went back west about a week ago and I told him I will follow in a couple of weeks.

Well, I just called him tonight and he said that he's sick of this, he doesn't want to talk to me long-distance anymore and he hung up on me. Very unlike him, but I totally understand. If I were in his position, I would have 86'd me from his life a long time ago. I just want to make everything right. I think we really can work, but I need a little time to get used to everything. As they say, absense makes the heart grow fonder, and I don't want to live my life without him. But I need to be confident enough with myself to be with him. That takes a little time.

So, I'll proabably be back in California soon, unless he decides that I'm too flightly. In which case, we really will break up. So that's my sitch.

Wow T~

Girl, I have got to give you though. As rough as all of this seems, you both will be better off in the long run. If things do not work for you two, then it's obvious that it just wasn't right. If they do work out for you....you'll know that it's a steady relationship because you did what you HAD to do to make yourself sure of this relationship. I hope that you have explained yourself to him, as you have to us...here. It makes sense to me and hopefully - if you have explained yourself to him, it made sense to him too. For the time being, I'm glad you did this for yourself...and for him. If you didn't do it you'll grow to regret never doing it. I hope this all works out for you!

~Evett

Tereska...I hope you both can find your ways.. whether it's together or apart... I hope you find what your looking for..... I don't know what your going thru.. I've never been in that position... I can't even begin to understand.....but if it's meant to be it will BE.... :)

Amina WOW... long reading . but very worth it!!!! I'm glad you guys are trying to work things out... at least now you both know where you stand and you know how much you can handle.. Just like I said to Tereska.. if it's meant to be it will be....:)

good luck to both of you!!!

Amina We love you to.. :)

I'm embarrassed because I want to be taken seriously and not viewed as one of "those girls"...you know..the one who always has dramatic break ups, tears...and ends up right back with Mr. Wrong/Mr. Needs Improvement...

Amina, I get it. Sometimes I feel so silly on this board...breaking up...getting back together...breaking up...etc...etc... But, relationships are complicated. It's all really hard. It's okay to go through confusion.

Em, thanks for your concern. Yeah, I think we do just need to go through this stage. It'll either kill us or strengthen us. Either way, it's for the best.

Mer, thanks a lot for your thoughts. S. called me back today and apologized for hanging up on me. I think everything is going to be okay between us. I look at your relationship with your husband and I hold that as an inspiration. You both seem so happy with your new baby. Sometimes I wish that I were older so that I could be experienced and confident enough to be with my husband. But then I have to realize that if he wanted someone different, he would find her. So far, he still wants to be with me...for whatever reason.

I just really pray that I'll keep coming back to this board with more good news to tell. I'm pretty optimistic though.

Originally posted by tereska

Mer, thanks a lot for your thoughts. S. called me back today and apologized for hanging up on me. I think everything is going to be okay between us. I look at your relationship with your husband and I hold that as an inspiration. You both seem so happy with your new baby. Sometimes I wish that I were older so that I could be experienced and confident enough to be with my husband. But then I have to realize that if he wanted someone different, he would find her. So far, he still wants to be with me...for whatever reason.

.


Tereska.. Thanks!!! I can tell you that I had a hard time at first when we first got together... This is why I came here back in 2002.... We had been dating for 11 months and I at first was gung ho LOL.. then I started to doubt it... wondering.. am i making the right decision.. is he to old for me... am I just doing this because it seems right for the moment etc..... boy I had real issues because of his age..... From being here and talking and reading I realized that I loved this man.....and The more I agonized about it.. the more I realized if I didn't care or Love this man then I wouldn't be agonizing about this.. LOL....If it's because of the Age that you guys are apart.... then just know.. its not the age your in love with its the man, the person..... but if your not In love with the man.. then that's a whole other issue :)

Best of luck.. You will come up with the BEST solution for you... :)

I think you gals worry too much about what people think. And take yourselves too seriously. No one comes here to gush constantly and wax ecstatic about how much fun age gaps are.
Well except for Mer, and sometimes I get the feeling even SHE is not being completely honest. There's got to be trouble in Shangri La at some point. :D

You can't "rise above" and out-analyze your emotions. Good luck, sista. It's an exercise in futility and also belies the fact that you don't trust yourself to know what's right. And what's RIGHT, anyway? You only figure it out by wading directly in. Your emotions are just as confounding as everyone else's, no matter how much smarter you want to appear than, uh, people who shall remain nameless. Love is not a right-brained pursuit. It totally subverts all conventional notions of "control." Besides, isn't everyone's boyfriend/hubby Mr. Wrong/Needs Improvement in SOME aspect or other? Or at some time or other? Break-ups ARE dramatic, they are important, they can seem really silly and OVERdramatic in retrospect, but they're steps. You either made a step forward or you got rid of the problem. Or both, I suppose.

Maybe it's just from my personal relationship, but I expect a certain amount of additional confusion from most age gap relationships. If they didn't include any additional stressors than the average relationship, this website would not exist. And we all know how much fun relationships are to begin with. I'm never surprised when people break up. Nor am I shocked when they reunite. I guess I'm MORE surprised around here when anything actually sticks.

Personally, I've quit posting the majority of the drama about us. One, because it would bore the crap out of everyone since it's nothing new, and two because I know the moods don't last and I tend to say stupid things that I regret. So you broke up. Then you didn't. But all the advice and thoughts you got in the interim probably were good for something. I know they have been for me in the past. That's what the dang thing's here for.

Originally posted by datura81
Well except for Mer, and sometimes I get the feeling even SHE is not being completely honest. There's got to be trouble in Shangri La at some point. :D



LOLOLOL Dat.....

Its not always happy land over here... but we are still newly weds until Aug. 30.. then the fights really happen LOLOL... I don't post my problems here.. I think Mainly because It's not age gap related...I have had issues with the pregnancy so I posted in health chat...

I used to post here my issues with my stepson... but now.... My issues are I periodically wanna KILL my husband LOLOL>. may be the post pardom still LOL.. but We truely do have a great marriage.... we do have the normal everyday couple issues... so No it's not always party time LOL....

DATURA YOU NEVER BORE US WITH YOUR STORIES... could I say that any louder? Actually I was wondering how you both were doing..????? I'm sure I'm nt the only one...
:)

Yes, she's not the only one.
But I can understand why you wouldn't post as often....but a small, quick update would be nice :)

Well the short version is: we still have the same old age gap fears (exacerbated in December when we broke up for a week and I did some really evil things just to hurt him) we're still not over that completely, and we have a lot of stuff on our respective plates. His son will be living with him full-time in a year, which means he has to move to the suburbs to be near his school district (which neither one of us is thrilled about, the move that is), he won't be getting any child support from the mother, he hates his job and wants a new one, but naturally in this market feels stuck. He's been a stressed-out worrywart, he had arthroscopic surgery on his knee a couple of weeks ago, made the mistake of having a drink a day before the doctor said it was ok, and was a complete raving lunatic with the drugs and even the smallest bit of alcohol. I thought I was going to have to call someone, and this was after ONE DRINK! Now all he does is limp around and snivel about not being able to do cardio. He's been very up and down, one minute he's being cold and excessively nasty and admits it, the next he wants to completely start over. Yesterday he was a pill and I thought he was trying to break up with me on the phone, then tells me to visit him at work and when I did, he started laughing the second he saw me and says I can never stay mad at you. Then he asked me if I want to go with him to the Jazz Fest in New Orleans next May. Doesn't sound like breaking up to me! I know we're not really breaking up anytime soon, he's just been moody and I tend to take him too seriously no matter what they are. It seems like the "real" him that I used to see all the time is afraid to stick around very long, but I understand that I made a very stupid, selfish, vengeful mistake in this relationship and that it takes time to rebuild the safe zone. I keep telling him, things will never get better until you start letting me in again, and he says, it's YOUR mistake, why should I have to do ANYTHING to make things better? But I think things are looking up, really up lately. It's been almost two years, in a couple of weeks in fact, and not much surprises me anymore. God forbid anything further goes really wrong, but we love each other. There are the good times and the bad times, but the good times are what stick out in my mind. The funny times, I feel like you could take those individually, and that feeling, no matter what has happened, has always been the same since I met him. We're still hanging in there, working in progress. And the sense of urgency has passed, which is nice. Time stretches out with no limits, and we take it a little at a time.

BUt Dat you said the key word.. YOU BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER.....

Can I ask you a question? Did baker Pay child support when his son lived with his mother?... Now My thoughts are she should to..... if he's living with baker. it doesn't matter if it's the man or woman... just my feelings on this.... She should be paying support.. unless he didn't and they were just splitting costs... and even then she needs to split the costs...

Dat....

girl, you've stuck around through some rough times...and pulled through. Those are the times that you need to remember, this way you remember that any bumps in the road headed your way will be met, handled and passed. Those memories - along with the good ones -will be the glue. I wish you and Baker well...which I know you all will be :D

exactly Amina....I think these fights will just be a blur of memories after the years have past.

Dat,

Jazz fest is great--I went to this year's so I know how cool it is, not that I have ever been to New Orleans any other time, but during Jazz Fest it is awesome.



Update--
Um, life is shi-*ty. I had a job for two days, which appeared to be going fine. Take your time, they said. You are learning fast, they said. Well, apparently that isn't the case. The temp service called me this morning and told me that my manager doesn't want me back. He could've told me himself directly, couldn't he? But noooo....

so of course I had to go straight to the horse's mouth, and he, the boss man, verified what they said to me on the phone, about how I wasn't fast enough on the numerical data entry and things. And I was thinking, well, well, this is new to me--nobody told me that before--in fact, they told me quite the opposite, something about accuracy is more important than speed. And I know I am not a grade-A robot, but I still think I was pretty damned speedy with all of that complex manufacturing, order processing mumbo-jumbo.

I learned it quickly, how can they expect so much from someone who just worked two days? It wasn't easy at all.

Oh, well, the only reason I had wanted to stay was that he told me he wanted to promote me fast into management, and that he would promote me provided I go through all of the training well. I don't get it. Somebody must have something strange going on there because none of it really makes sense. Why would i be dismissed after only two days? I did everything I was supposed to.

I wouldn't want to work for someone who would mistreat someone like that, anyway.

So much for that....

Tom wants to break up with me. Ha, this all happened today.

I am miserable.

Maybe he is right, maybe we should break up. I suggested it myself more than a few times.

I just think he shouldn't have said that he would send me my birthday presents in the mail and that someone else could take me out to dinner for my birthday. I told him I didn't want his presents and that they wouldn't mean the same thing anymore.

Well, think about it: Would you want presents from someone who wants to send them in the mail just so that they don't have to see you at all?

And just think, this all happened because I got mad at him for cutting our conversation short when i was upset about my job loss. He abruptly said that he had an hour and a half until he had to give lecture and said he wanted to talk later--and this was like after just seven minutes into the conversation! He really didn't express sympathy at all, or at least that is how it seemed to me.... so I got mad and told him that I wanted a boyfriend who understood what I was going through, who was willing to sacrifice a few more minutes to talk about this.

There is more but i won't go into it. But I am really upset. This is not what i want.

This whole day has been a shocking nightmare.

I go from being numb and not caring, to moments of sheer hopelessness and despair. Right now I don't care as much as I did ten minutes ago, but I know it will come back around and bite me. I'll be in tears in about five minutes. It seems to go in and out.

I really don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I just feel bad for myself and felt like writing it out. Maybe here is not the place for it.

I hadn't been hanging around on ageless very much at all. I was busy trying to find a job and was too busy feeling bad about myself.

I wonder what I should do about Tom....... I agree that this relationship has been bad a lot of times, but I don't know if I want to give up yet. Sounds like he has surely given up already, though.

maybe I should ask for some advice. ?????

Yikes... I'm sorry about the job... its probably for the better anyway... I wouldn't want a boss that was a coward.....two days is nothing... Most people are still a little nervous at that stage.....If you were at an agency it could be there faults to..... If you never did data entry... they should look at fine prints that say they want experienced only..... Although if they gave you time to learn the ropes better I'm sure you would of excelled at it....there loss.... besides i'm sure your much more qualified to do something much better ...

As for Tom..... Hes upset because you were upset that he cut off a conversation? And He was going to send you your birthday presents by mail?? Yeah I'd be upset to..... Although I'm not sure what the rest is... but Thats not right......

I would ask myself does the bad outweigh the good in your relationship with Tom..... if there is more bad then I would probably leave it the way it is.... but if there is good and you truely feel it's worth fighting for .. go for it.....Ask yourself why your not ready to give up yet... write it down the reasons and think about it... and write down the pro's and cons to...but be TRUTHFUL or this excersise won't work :)

Keep us posted.. I'm sorry your upset.... :(

Oh, balls. Muse, I'm sorry. However, I also have gotten the "I don't have time for this" etc. because it's really hard for a man that much older to conjure his long-past anxiety about first jobs, making it on your own, what's wrong with me, etc. Besides I think women overthink it much more than men. All the interviews I've had, that I thought went well, well I guess I wasn't the best match, and that's that. Some of them I though went SO well though that I was truly, truly disappointed. And then you get people, such as your OM, telling you to suck it up, get back on it, don't give up, and you feel like pulling a Theresa Kerry on them and telling them to kindly SHOVE IT! I think Muse and I are similarly too introspective in some ways though, whereas people such as your "boss" don't give it that much thought. If it didn't work out, I guess eff it. Something will. But it's hard to make someone 40, or 70, remember what it was like when you had a whole lot to prove and not a whole lot to show for it yet. All they see is retrospect. And I don't like being coddled or daddied either, I find it equally grating. It's just MY thing. He doesn't really understand anymore, nor do I know where the hell he's coming from, because that's like so 20 years ago to him. It's a very touchy subject for me, a matter of personal pride, and he wants to offer all this advice or else point out when I'm being immature and petty and inordinately insecure. And I don't want that. So then he can be very short and beyond it and out in left field. I don't think you really wanted Tom to "poooooor baby" you. It's a personal frustration that he can't really help. And he is busy, and has responsibilities, and maybe sometimes or a lot of times he doesn't want to pat you on the back or doesn't have the energy for it or whatever. I know I tend to feel too sorry for myself, and anyone else who sees me as perfectly capable gets irritated by that. That's probably Tom's deal too. I'm sure you will talk again, he won't send your birthday wishes via UPS, etc. I know it would really suck to think you HAVE a job and then have it pulled out from under you, but there is something else out there, obviously. Who cares about the stupid boss or temp agency, I think most of those are run by monkeys anyway. I dealt with one and I won't deal with any more, ever. They're run by the kind of people I never would have associated with in school that have learned to insert catch-phrase here, talk a good game there, and they're crooked and confusing as the day is long. And no they don't want to expend anything on helping you or training you. Temp means fill the spot with someone who is suitably monkey-ized, as fast as you can. I don't think they're good launching pads. They're the cheap motels of the working world. Hope things are better by your next post, and they should be more frequent sista. Bye.

Thanks, Mera.

And you are so right, Dat, so very right. It just gets so frustrating anymore to find an effing job now, and to be rejected over and over again just really makes me feel dumpy.

And, as if things couldn't get any worse, Tom dumped me, which then made me feel REALLY dumpy.

But you were right, he wasn't serious--it was another break-up bluff--he was just being kind of grumpy, because he has a job as a professor with tenure and he didn't want to listen to my boo-hoo-hooing. He wanted to concentrate on VERY important professorial duties.

I guess he was just distracted and didn't think to acknowledge that I must be very upset and on the brink of insanity over all of this job crap.

The more I look for a job, the more I miss school. School wasn't my most favorite thing in the world. But now that I think of it, school was so much easier to handle than being jobless and living with mom and dad and little sis von bi*tch.

Anyway, dat, you are very right. Things are better now. I am not feeling overly depressed, and the situation is looking up a little bit: I do have a job interview for the position of manager of a teen-hipster second-hand, upscale clothing shop. That is not what I had originally envisioned myself going to college for, but, hey, sometimes you gotta take what you can get, and I must admit that I do love clothing thrift shops.

Oh, yeah, and I am going back into that monkeyized temp agency tomorrow. I guess they have a couple more low-paying, high-stress jobs for me to try--and what the hell, I will take anything that pays me a little more than minimum wage. I feel a little like a prostitute.....

I will try to post more often.

Happy 23rd Birthday to you, dat. Your birthday is on the first, mine is on the seventh. I will be 22.

Virgos rock.

Don't worry you two. Someone out there will eventually realize and appreciate your brilliance. Take it from me that this can take time, and patience. I know all about temping - did it every summer and winter break in college, and even after my first year of law school. You have to think realistically about it. Its a temp agency. Its temporary. Its temporary suckage you have to go through while you hopefully find something (relatively) permanent that sucks less.

And Muse, don't worry about that stupid "boss" person. I have had my share of "talkings to" and expressions of dissatisfaction directed towards me while temping. People automatically assume you're brainless when you show up, and make very little effort to assess otherwise. Why? Because that makes them better than you, see? Don't let it get to you. You got a college degree at 21. That's not too shabby. Now in retrospect, its almost amusing for me to think about some bonehead explaining my incompetence at being a receptionist. Not that there's anything wrong with being a receptionist, but it certainly doesn't take a post-graduate degree to do the job. Its a very unfortunate power trip.

But don't despair. Eventually you will encounter someone who actually uses their brain, and you'll be in. Because as a hirer, you ladies are an employers dream.

Happy birthday both of you, from a fellow-earth sign (Taurus).

I don't know what to do with myself.

Do you know how long it has been since I graduated college?





.......I graduated in December.


Maybe i should save money and head back to school?


Thanks, Emmie, for your nice, encouraging words. I have always appreciated your messages so much.

Oh Musey....

The job market is sucky right now...it's beyond sucky...it's at ultimage suckage. I'm with Amina...I have my job to get a pay check and benefits....luckily I get way over min. wadge...as a receptionist. But I also teach 3 high school colorguards and 1 independent colorguard to make sure I am ok w/ the cash flow. Plus I satisfy my needs by performing w/ a colorguard still.

Here's where I have a problem....I hated college....I hated lectures, but now I have 5 jobs to make sure that I can survive out in the "real world" which leaves me NO time to go back to school. I'm so used to and comfortable with my life style now that it's going to be difficult to obtain a degree. But at the same time I'm doing great. I love my life and am ok with the choices I have made.

Best of luck to you!
EM

EM,

Lady, get your degree. Here's a newsflash - no one really LIKES school. Its a pain. You have to take classes you hate. The people I know without degrees all say the same thing, "I love music, but I don't want to take theory" or "I love reading but I don't want to write papers about the books." Here's the thing, I hate math, hate science, hate tons of classes I had to take to get my degree(s). But I did it anyway. You really do need those things to make you a fuller person. These skills can do nothing for you except to help you. They cannot hurt you! So what's the hold up? I understand that you're working all these jobs and "don't have time" for school. But at this point, I would be happy if you just take one or two classes per quarter or semester or whatever. It will take you forever, but at least you'll be getting somewhere. Sure, you might have to quit one of your jobs and you won't be able to afford as many new shoes, but let's look at this in the grand scheme of life here. New shoes now, or personal growth/increased chance of financial security/accomplishment/skills that last and will benefit you for a lifetime? Its an easy call. So get moving. There really is no good reason to not get a degree. There are over 1000 reasons to get one.

One more point and then I'll stop. Degrees give you options. Don't you know any middle-aged person who just plods through their life in a job they hate because they have no degree and no options? I know people who are absolutely stuck in their jobs, jobs that are way beneath their intelligence level, completely bored out of their minds and hating ever minute of it, counting the seconds until they can retire and die already, because they don't have a degree. If you want a degree, and you're making excuses about it based on present life style considerations, then you're being extremely short-sighted. Don't get me wrong. If you love being a receptionist and want to do that forever, and are happy with it, then that's great go for it. Being a receptionist is great and certainly has its benefits. But if you think that maybe there's something else or something more, something you're passionate about, then get cracking.

My personal opinion of what you should do - get your degree in ANYTHING. Then get a teaching credential. Get a job as a high school teacher (teach P.E. if you want, or typing, or whatever) and coach colorguard. There you go.

ok, I'm done.
Thanks.
p.s. all out of love dear.

I realize I haven't been posting too much. I come and read a little bit, but I just haven't felt too moved to post in a while.

So, here is my update:

I'm still loving SF!!!!! Especially this time of year - we moved here almost exactly a year ago, and everyone assures me that September and October are the best months in the city. It is warm, sunny and the ocean is cooling - so not too hot -- I live close to the ocean too, so I can walk on the beach all the time.

My husband is still commuting every week to Cleveland. He works for a computer consulting company, so he has to travel all the time, but he has now been in Cleveland for 9 months with no end in sight. It was originally supposed to be a 6 week stint. It is getting harder and harder to see him go every Monday.

Especially since my acting career is going so well -- which means I have auditions, performances, and filming going on on the weekends so often. In the year since I moved here, I have performed in 4 readings of new plays, 4 full runs of plays (2 in leading roles), 2 commercials, and 3 films. Unfortunately only about half of those things paid anything at all, and those were usually between $100 and $500. So, I still haven't really made any money to speak of, but at least I'm working a lot.

I'm currently in rehearsals for a play about motherhood -- I am the only non-mother in the cast, and it has gotten me thinking. I am 35 and hubby, 53, is getting terrified that I am going to wake up one morning desparate for a child. It isn't so much that he is against it, it is just not something he has ever seen for himself in his life. In addition to the fact that 5 of my close friends have had babies this year. So, we shall see -- the end is not here yet.

That is my update. Nothing too exciting, just chugging along - still happy in my marriage. It will be 2 years in November.