my relationship....

:p hi i'm new and would like to speak to people about my relationship. I am 26 he is 48... we have been together for nearly two yrs and I am now confused to whether i love him completely.
My problem is that he has a temper problem and is constantly in horrid moods. We lived together as friends for a couple of months before we got together and i remember those times as the best we've had. I am more the submissive quiet type and he is slightly oppisite. When he's arguing with me he's a yeller whereas i'm not. When he's feeling down - the WHOLE world is apparentely against him and nothing will go right.
My problem is mainly that if i did want to leave him, i have no money to be able to. I have many pets i just could not leave.
I don't know what to do.
My point is, that when he's happy and ok he's the bloke i was attracted to in the first place, but when he's not happy, i just don't want to be near him. He picks at what i do or don't do... I am to blame partly as i am unemployed at present and he is the only bread winner so to speak... But he has temper tantrums about strange seemly insignifcant things and i just keep thinking 'life is too short for all this crap'.

Well.. first Welcome To Ageless!!!!!

I think you need to ask yourself that if your staying with him because you love him or because you think you can't "afford" to leave him....

Well I will tell you DON'T STAY if its because youc an't afford to... that would be purely using him for money ... but I'm sure there is something you can afford... maybe find a roommate... I don't know how they do it down under but I know that you can post an ad for a roommate or answer a classified to someone who needs a roommate... how about a friend? or Family?

I would think the best solution to stoping his temper is to communicate with him.. express to him how you feel... sometimes you need to point it out to them.. sometimes after awhile we allt ake our relationships for granted and sometimes forget the important things.... is he stressed at work? there has to be something that is making him stressed or angry.... I would talk to him....

Life is to short to just "deal " with things....Dig deep down and listen to your heart it will tell you whether or not you truely love this man.... make sure your IN love with him not just love him :)

Good Luck

Let us know and keep us posted... and Join the community... we are all a great bunch of people :)

No i'm not with him just for his money, it may look a bit that way but i couldn't stay with someone i had no feelings for.. I am a communicator, i'd prefer to try and rationally sit and talk things thru, but he's an angry man and either blames me for trying to blame him etc etc or just won't see sense for a week or so... Yes he does has stress at work. I take this into account.
As i said before if i were to go i wouldn't want to leave my pets. Family are in another state. I don't have many friends. Tend to stick to myself...

First of all welcome to ageless :D

I'm sorry you're going through all of this right now and I can sort of understand how you're feeling only with my ex he'd stop talking to me for days at a time if something went wrong for him. Have you tried writing him a letter if he doesn't seem to listen when you talk to him? Sometimes we can get more through to them by writing it down because they actually have to read it so it seems to sink in more somehow. If you love each other and are meant to be together you will work through this in the end. I wish you nothing but the best

I'm a letter writter too, Kay.
I find that men like to inturupt you to defend themselves or comment on a statement...when all I want to do is get everything out in teh open...and most of the time I wasn't able to because of my ex inturupting!

Well...Welcome squidly...glad to have another person aboard. I agree with Mer, is there something that is putting him in this bad mood...my ex owned his own business - mix that with a handful of a son and his temper went off the handle....however, my situation is different....he never used his anger towards me. I'd use the skills you have to communicate to him and see where that can get you...and how far. Try to get him to open up a little.

Hope to hear from you again soon!

EM

I also find writing it all down helps me to be totally honest about my feelings too for some reason. A lot of the time I'd start to say something and then I'd find myself stopping in my tracks for fear of making things worse. For some reason, writing it down helps me to get things into perspective too, and like you say Em, no one can interrupt mid sentence ;)

I've stopped myself before too...worried about his reactions...then later wish that I would have said somethign.

This guy sounds like a loon...save yourself a lot of pain....get out.

Hi squidly

Welcome to agelesslove!

I wanted to say that if you feel threatened of this man then Leave sweetie. Becuz i cant stand a woman being emotionally abused. Like, I say DROP THAT ZERO & GET A NEW HERO!!!:)
And always keep God first importantly, GBU!

Ps 55:22 says, "Cast your burdens unto the Lord he shall sustain you, He will never permit the righteousness be moved"