My Age Gap...Help!

I am hopelessly in love with a man 24 years older than me (18 and 42). And I want to know any advice anyone has for helping me through the rough times. We've been together for a little over a year, and at first it was just a physical thing. But then after about a month I realized that the "fling" wasnt going to stop anytime soon, and I began to relax around him. Well, the next thing I knew, I had fallen in love for the first time. And its the most amazing thing. Everytime he smiles I fall a little more in love with him. We are neighbors and my mom and dad know. Since I'm 18 now, they dont approve of it, of course, but they arent going to stop it. Not many other people know, and not many others would approve, I know. I am a devout Christian (dont judge me PLEASE!!) and I have an amazing church... But I know they would flip if they found out I was with him. My family is Southern and old fashioned. But if both would stick it out to see how happy he made me I know they would be happy FOR me... What do I do? I am in love for the first time...and I cant shout it like I want to... I'm tired of love hurting me. Please help me!

Welcome Lisa Sue!

I've definately been there. You've got to just stand up for the decisions you make. Yeah, there might be some people who just won't be able to understand but you've got to live your life for yourself and not worry about what others think. Of course, that's easier said than done. But if this relationship is right, you'll see that the people who matter the most to you will celebrate your happiness instead of judge your choices.

Best of luck!

Actually the age of consent in North Carolina is 16. Apparently it was 13 not too long ago! :eek:

http://www.jus.state.nc.us/NCJA/!jul96.htm

I think that as long as the two of you are on the same page as far as values and goals and can see a future together, then you ought to see where this takes you. But keep in mind that you're going to change a lot in the next few years and it wouldn't be fair to either of you to limit yourself because of this relationship. So make sure that he supports you in your future goals and really wants to have an equal partnership.

Oh BTW, I lived in Fayetteville for a couple of years so I know a little about the Southern conservative thing. I'd imagine it would be really hard to be different in a place like that. But life is too short to waste it trying to make everyone else happy. Live the way you want to. If people don't like you because of that then why would you want them as friends anyways?

Hi Lissa!

its okay to feel the way you feel; if you really love this man then go for it! you only live once sweetie & as for your parents, they cannot live your life or choose your soulmate. besides Im with an older man whose 8 yrs. older than me & im 20! will be 21 in december, so dont lose faith over the relationship. If it's meant to be it will be. Because always know that God moves fast & not slow;) When he starts something he finishes it.
GOODLUCK!!!!

I agree with Pinkpanther that you are going to change a LOT in the next few years. When you're 24, you're going to see things a lot differently and feel a lot differently about things than you do at 18. That's a biggie, and if you get married to him before then, you might be looking at a divorce after that big emotional and maturity change.

I, however, see a bigger problem. You say you are a devout Christian. Is he? If he isn't, then he's just going to drag you down in your Christian walk. It won't be him that changes, it will be you.

Whatever you do, good luck and God bless you as you try to work it out.

(I am not in a relationship now, but have been in more than a couple "age gap" relationships, the most major of which, my girlfriend decided to end it because she knew her dad would never approve of me, and I understood (she's happily married now to a guy much closer to her age).