"I Saw Your Daughter" -- How to Handle

I never thought this would happen but it has and I'm not sure what more, if anything, I should do about it. Tonight my OM said to me on the phone, "I think I'm too old for you." I said, "What?" He repeated, "I think I'm too old for you." I said "What? Why?" He'd never said this to me before and we've been together over a year. Then he explained.

Last night I was helping him (he's 61, I'm 48 -- only a 13-year difference) move some things around on his deck. Today his neighbor told him that he saw my OM's "daughter" helping him last night! My dear sweet OM said that he was completely flustered and didn't know what to say to the man (who happens to be a minister).

I confess, I laughed out loud! I just thought it was so ridiculous. I told him it was dark, and maybe the man's eyesight isn't so good, and I was dressed in a little tank top and shorts (not like a "mature" woman). Most of all, I told him that it's not true; that he's not too old for me. I did tell him that, when we first started dating, I sometimes wondered if the age difference wasn't too much (I'd told him this before); but as I've come to know and love my OM, I now know that his "number" means nothing and I never feel that way anymore.

Still, I think he felt bad about it. Maybe I shouldn't have laughed, but my first reaction was that it was hilarious -- that he was kidding me, that it must be a joke! Is there anything else I can or should do to reassure him of my complete and undying love for him and commitment to our future together? I did apologize for laughing because maybe it really did bother him and I wasn't sensitive to that. I just thought that it was absurd.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with and/or thoughts about this type of situation!

I don't have any advise for you but I can say we've gone through something similar.

A few months ago we were out to dinner with my OM's friend and his two daughters. One of the girls is about 12 and the other about 8 or 9. We met them at a restaurant for dinner. My OM has met his friend's daughters before. They adore him! It was the first time I met the girls.

During dinner I talked to the girls as I sat in the booth next to them. We joked and laughed together. Then, I went to the washroom. When I returned we ate our dinner and again continued conversing. Then as we were leaving I was talking to the older girl and the younger one wanted a piggy back ride from my OM. He lated told me that before she asked for a piggy back ride she whispered to him "How old is your daughter?". He laughed and said I was his girlfriend not his daughter. The little girl said I looked so young she was sure I was his daughter.

It made my OM feel like a pedophile he later told me. He said if children think he is my dad adults must really wonder about the two of us especially when we show affection in public by holding hands or what not. It bothered him for several weeks. So much so that he suddenly felt funny holding hands in public. Then one day he just got over it.

Hope you can have such luck as well. :)

Hey....

I can't say this ever happened to me... to be honest i've never gotten a comment from anyone about our age difference... I'm lucky I guess... or I just never heard it... but anyway.....I would of reacted like you and laughed at first... I am sure it did bother him .. where he is the older one.....All you can do is what you did.. assure him that the age means NOTHING to you... and the only thing that should matter is what you both feel and not anyone else... they arent in your relationship.... If it doesn't bother you who cares about the other people tell them to MYOB.....Just make sure you continue to show him how you feel and tell him all the time... I'm sure he'll be fine :)

Thank you both for your replies! Yes, he is fine. He says I make him feel young and I said that's my plan and that he keeps ME young! I was just worried that he might really start dwelling on our age difference, but that doesn't seem to be happening.

Thanks again.

Your Welcome!!!! I'm glad he didn't do that... funny thing is the OM are the ones that dwell more on the age issue.....and you would think it would be the other way around.....

What a sweet story, SkiBunny! That's the whole point -- we love these guys -- their ages are irrelevant to us!

My guy has greeted me, "Hi daughter!", several times since this happened. We just laugh about it! So, like you, we don't take it seriously.

Thanks for sharing your experience.