Karl
08-31-2004, 07:15 AM
I am glad that i have found this site. I hope that i can receive some insight to my situation.
I met a young lady in Africa and we really like each other. She is 23 and I am 43. I met her about a week before I was to leave and return back to the states. We will communicate via emails and phone calls. After meeting, she wanted me to meet her family. A friend told me that meeting the family was akin to asking for marriage. I dismissed his idea and met her family anyway. He was right. I tried to tell the family that our intention was to be married but we wanted to get to know each other to see if we were right for each other. They did not pay any attention to me in a real sense. They emphased, after accepting me into the family, that there daughter was reserved for me. she is not to be with other men. Their biggest concern was that I live up to my agreement to marry their daughter. In African societies the age difference does not matter so much. In fact, it is even welcomed because it means that the woman has a mature man who is stable financially and otherwise.
In one sense this relationship is like an arranged relationship that the two of us met and got the good blessings of her family. The family primarly consisted of father, brother, two uncles, and a friend fo the brother, and two close frinend of the father. the mother was in the background.
I am inclined to geve marriage with her a try. However, with the generation gap, i am having second thoughts. The cultural difference i thought was an advantage. Because she does not have the hangups about age as i have because it is culturally accepted. However, i am wondering once over here in a different culture/reality would she still maintain her cultural upbringing or will she want the same experiences that other young ladies her age are experiencing?
Please drop me a line so that i can have a more clear vision.
Karl
I met a young lady in Africa and we really like each other. She is 23 and I am 43. I met her about a week before I was to leave and return back to the states. We will communicate via emails and phone calls. After meeting, she wanted me to meet her family. A friend told me that meeting the family was akin to asking for marriage. I dismissed his idea and met her family anyway. He was right. I tried to tell the family that our intention was to be married but we wanted to get to know each other to see if we were right for each other. They did not pay any attention to me in a real sense. They emphased, after accepting me into the family, that there daughter was reserved for me. she is not to be with other men. Their biggest concern was that I live up to my agreement to marry their daughter. In African societies the age difference does not matter so much. In fact, it is even welcomed because it means that the woman has a mature man who is stable financially and otherwise.
In one sense this relationship is like an arranged relationship that the two of us met and got the good blessings of her family. The family primarly consisted of father, brother, two uncles, and a friend fo the brother, and two close frinend of the father. the mother was in the background.
I am inclined to geve marriage with her a try. However, with the generation gap, i am having second thoughts. The cultural difference i thought was an advantage. Because she does not have the hangups about age as i have because it is culturally accepted. However, i am wondering once over here in a different culture/reality would she still maintain her cultural upbringing or will she want the same experiences that other young ladies her age are experiencing?
Please drop me a line so that i can have a more clear vision.
Karl