whiterose
09-01-2004, 09:27 PM
Attention everybody! We have a very special LDR couple spotlight this month. For the first time ever, both members of the couple have agreed to be interviewed. Allow me to introduce you to Bubbleee and Phillippides. :D
Whiterose: How long have you been involved in a long-distance relationship?
Bubbleee: We were LDR for about a year and a half, then Phil moved closer by to continue his education.
Phillippides: We've been involved about a year and a half, and just in the past few months I've moved closer in to go to college. It's kind of nice because now only a few miles separate us.
Whiterose: How did you first meet?
Bubbleee: Phil and I met through one of my children. My daughter and Phil had met on the internet while doing virtual coursework. She had him add me to his buddy list because she said he was interesting to talk to and liked to talk alot. We became friendly that way.
Phillippides: Well, the way that bubbleee said. I talked to her daughter and bubbleee talked to me. I'm really glad we met because she is my shining star. Also, I have a very mild social disorder that would not have been diagnosed had it not been for her, and I wouldn't have such an open mind or a happy outlook on life. She has changed my life for the better in so many ways.
Whiterose: What type of age gap relationship are you involved in? Ex. Are you the older woman or the older man? And, what is your age difference?
Bubbleee: I am the older woman and we have a little more than 30 years between us. It's quite a gap.
Phillippides: Obviously, I'm the young guy here, and the age gap is about 33 years.
Whiterose: Do you live within the same country? If not, which countries do you two live in?
Bubbleee: Yes, we only lived a few states apart.
Phillippides: Yeah, and about 6 hours apart during the ldr stage.
Whiterose: If you met online, how long did you two talk before deciding to meet in person?
Bubbleee: After meeting him on line, I met him in person probably a few months later. It was strictly on a friendly basis at that point since he was not yet 18. He was a friend of my daughter and we were traveling through his hometown and stopped by to say hello. It wasn't any kind of a formal relationship meeting, of course. It was very casual. He and my daughter wanted to meet. Of course, I knew him from talking on line and was interested to meet him as well. Our relationship wouldn't develop into falling in love for quite some time after that.
Phillippides: We met a few months after so I could meet her daughter. However, as the years progressed, I found a woman that was much more attractive than her daughter, he he. She is so beautiful in every way.
Whiterose: How do you keep in touch with each other when you can‘t be together? And, how often?
Bubbleee: We are now separated because he went back to college, although it's not all that far from where I live. I think it is important for him to have his independence as I have mine. We talk every day, usually once and sometimes twice.
Phillippides: Well, during the LDR stage we talked every night over AIM and we often talked on the phone every day as we got closer to the time of my move. Now we use the phone, and I call her two or three times a day.
Whiterose: How often do you get to see each other in person? How long does your visit typically last?
Bubbleee: We see each other on the weekend mostly now that college classes have started up. Phil works and goes to college so he has to manage that schedule. I am working and attending evening classes as well. We try to make the time we have together special. It's alot of adjustment. Sometimes I'd just like to have him here full time like he was just a few weeks ago.
Phillippides: Well, at first we saw one another every few months or so, and she'd usually come to see me. But now we see each other just about every day. I'll visit on evenings for a few hours and then spend the whole weekend there.
Whiterose: What kinds of things do you and your partner do to help cope with the distance when you cannot be together?
Bubbleee: When we were apart we would try to instant message or talk on the phone every day. Phil would write me morning emails that I used to love to open up when I got to work in the morning telling me how much he loved me and how he couldn't wait till we were together. Some days I'd read those emails two or three times and imagine him speaking the words in his own voice. I know others in LDRs will understand this.
Phillippides: Well, we did a lot of talking on the phone and on instant messenger to kind of compensate, and we sent some photos back and forth sometimes too. We'd also try and keep ourselves occupied, like I would run and she would walk, or just by maybe watching the same events together (football games or something) and talk about them during or after.
Whiterose: How does your partner demonstrate to you that he/she is as committed to your LDR as you are?
Bubbleee: I think by keeping up the communication. It's the key in any relationship, honestly.
Phillippides: Well, since I couldn't really drive that far, she was the one driving 6 hours to see me! Need I say more? She was also on im most every night, and she'd tell me beforehand if she wasn't. Thankfully, we're done with the little white boxes.
Whiterose: Have you made any future plans to be together permanently? If so, who will be the one who will move?
Bubbleee: Phil moved here earlier this year because it was easier for him to relocate. I have a really terrific position with a wonderful company and I needed to keep my career going. It was wonderful to have him come here and for us to build a relationship in proximity. You have to be careful not to monopolize you partner's time because there is a tendency to do that after having been apart for so long!
Phillippides: Well, right now we're very close together, and I'm staying with her a far amount of the time. When the time comes, I will stay with her for a while, and then we will both move into a house together. Then we can watch Poker on tv all the time like we all do now. In fact, she has it on now and is laughing about it. ;) I'm very scared about this turn of events.
Whiterose: If you have not made any plans yet to be together in person permanently, have you thought about how long you will be able to continue in this kind of relationship?
Bubbleee: It's hard to say how long any of us can continue in relationships whether they are long distance or close by. Isn't it really amazing that people can overcome the double whammy of age gap and then location gap (LDR) as well? I really marvel at the strength and durability of love and commitment over age gaps and time zones.
Phillippides: Well, we have plans to be together in person, and are done with the long distance part, so the plan thus far is to be together forever.
Whiterose: How does this relationship compare to others you have with someone who lives closer to you?
Bubbleee: I'm not sure it's all that different under the skin. I found it hard to find a balance with Phil, LDR. I was either thrilled with him or mad at him it seemed. There are so many expectations and so many disappointments. You pin your hopes on those brief times during the day that you communicate. If things don't work well that day or you have a bad day it can be devastating when the communication gets strained. You'd have to be in an LDR to understand, I suppose.
Phillippides: Well, I couldn't see her on a day to day basis like most other couples see one another, so it was very difficult. Our only ways of communication were either the phone or instant messenger. So there wasn't the spontaneity to just go and do things together all of a sudden, since there was a six hour drive between us. That was very different, and it was difficult to overcome the distance between us.
Whiterose: If you had it all to do over again, would you still choose to be in a LDR?
Bubbleee: Heck no. I'd never choose to be in a LDR with a guy 30 years younger than me. I didn't really "choose" it the first time. Sometimes life happens to you while you were busy doing something else. Love can be that way too.
Phillippides: Hell yes. I got a very wonderful girlfriend out of the deal. She's wonderful to be with. Also, if not for her, I wouldn't have moved to the college I am currently at, which is a very good school. What can I say? It's a beautiful night out, all is right with the world, and I'm here with my honey.
Whiterose: Any other pearls of wisdom or comments you’d like to share with us about LDR’s?
Bubbleee: Just say NO to LDR's *winks*. Just like age-gap relationships, LDR's are not for wimps. You reach the emotional peak when you are reunited, only to be let down again when you separate. I honestly don't know how any of us do it. I mean that sincerely.
Phillippides: I agree with my gf that this sh** definitely isn't for the weak of heart. Also, when talking on im or the phone, and something doesn't come off quite right, always give the benefit of the doubt, especially on im. It's so hard to tell one's mood at times on instant messaging.
Whiterose: Anything else you want me to include in the interview?
Phillippides: Well, I like this quote by Steve Prefontaine, and I think it can go with darn near any situation. "To give anything less than the best is to sacrifice the gift." I hope to give my best to Bubbleee for a long, long time.
Thank you to Bubbleee and Phillippides for such a wonderful interview. They are an inspiration to all of us in LDR’s and in age gap relationships.
Whiterose: How long have you been involved in a long-distance relationship?
Bubbleee: We were LDR for about a year and a half, then Phil moved closer by to continue his education.
Phillippides: We've been involved about a year and a half, and just in the past few months I've moved closer in to go to college. It's kind of nice because now only a few miles separate us.
Whiterose: How did you first meet?
Bubbleee: Phil and I met through one of my children. My daughter and Phil had met on the internet while doing virtual coursework. She had him add me to his buddy list because she said he was interesting to talk to and liked to talk alot. We became friendly that way.
Phillippides: Well, the way that bubbleee said. I talked to her daughter and bubbleee talked to me. I'm really glad we met because she is my shining star. Also, I have a very mild social disorder that would not have been diagnosed had it not been for her, and I wouldn't have such an open mind or a happy outlook on life. She has changed my life for the better in so many ways.
Whiterose: What type of age gap relationship are you involved in? Ex. Are you the older woman or the older man? And, what is your age difference?
Bubbleee: I am the older woman and we have a little more than 30 years between us. It's quite a gap.
Phillippides: Obviously, I'm the young guy here, and the age gap is about 33 years.
Whiterose: Do you live within the same country? If not, which countries do you two live in?
Bubbleee: Yes, we only lived a few states apart.
Phillippides: Yeah, and about 6 hours apart during the ldr stage.
Whiterose: If you met online, how long did you two talk before deciding to meet in person?
Bubbleee: After meeting him on line, I met him in person probably a few months later. It was strictly on a friendly basis at that point since he was not yet 18. He was a friend of my daughter and we were traveling through his hometown and stopped by to say hello. It wasn't any kind of a formal relationship meeting, of course. It was very casual. He and my daughter wanted to meet. Of course, I knew him from talking on line and was interested to meet him as well. Our relationship wouldn't develop into falling in love for quite some time after that.
Phillippides: We met a few months after so I could meet her daughter. However, as the years progressed, I found a woman that was much more attractive than her daughter, he he. She is so beautiful in every way.
Whiterose: How do you keep in touch with each other when you can‘t be together? And, how often?
Bubbleee: We are now separated because he went back to college, although it's not all that far from where I live. I think it is important for him to have his independence as I have mine. We talk every day, usually once and sometimes twice.
Phillippides: Well, during the LDR stage we talked every night over AIM and we often talked on the phone every day as we got closer to the time of my move. Now we use the phone, and I call her two or three times a day.
Whiterose: How often do you get to see each other in person? How long does your visit typically last?
Bubbleee: We see each other on the weekend mostly now that college classes have started up. Phil works and goes to college so he has to manage that schedule. I am working and attending evening classes as well. We try to make the time we have together special. It's alot of adjustment. Sometimes I'd just like to have him here full time like he was just a few weeks ago.
Phillippides: Well, at first we saw one another every few months or so, and she'd usually come to see me. But now we see each other just about every day. I'll visit on evenings for a few hours and then spend the whole weekend there.
Whiterose: What kinds of things do you and your partner do to help cope with the distance when you cannot be together?
Bubbleee: When we were apart we would try to instant message or talk on the phone every day. Phil would write me morning emails that I used to love to open up when I got to work in the morning telling me how much he loved me and how he couldn't wait till we were together. Some days I'd read those emails two or three times and imagine him speaking the words in his own voice. I know others in LDRs will understand this.
Phillippides: Well, we did a lot of talking on the phone and on instant messenger to kind of compensate, and we sent some photos back and forth sometimes too. We'd also try and keep ourselves occupied, like I would run and she would walk, or just by maybe watching the same events together (football games or something) and talk about them during or after.
Whiterose: How does your partner demonstrate to you that he/she is as committed to your LDR as you are?
Bubbleee: I think by keeping up the communication. It's the key in any relationship, honestly.
Phillippides: Well, since I couldn't really drive that far, she was the one driving 6 hours to see me! Need I say more? She was also on im most every night, and she'd tell me beforehand if she wasn't. Thankfully, we're done with the little white boxes.
Whiterose: Have you made any future plans to be together permanently? If so, who will be the one who will move?
Bubbleee: Phil moved here earlier this year because it was easier for him to relocate. I have a really terrific position with a wonderful company and I needed to keep my career going. It was wonderful to have him come here and for us to build a relationship in proximity. You have to be careful not to monopolize you partner's time because there is a tendency to do that after having been apart for so long!
Phillippides: Well, right now we're very close together, and I'm staying with her a far amount of the time. When the time comes, I will stay with her for a while, and then we will both move into a house together. Then we can watch Poker on tv all the time like we all do now. In fact, she has it on now and is laughing about it. ;) I'm very scared about this turn of events.
Whiterose: If you have not made any plans yet to be together in person permanently, have you thought about how long you will be able to continue in this kind of relationship?
Bubbleee: It's hard to say how long any of us can continue in relationships whether they are long distance or close by. Isn't it really amazing that people can overcome the double whammy of age gap and then location gap (LDR) as well? I really marvel at the strength and durability of love and commitment over age gaps and time zones.
Phillippides: Well, we have plans to be together in person, and are done with the long distance part, so the plan thus far is to be together forever.
Whiterose: How does this relationship compare to others you have with someone who lives closer to you?
Bubbleee: I'm not sure it's all that different under the skin. I found it hard to find a balance with Phil, LDR. I was either thrilled with him or mad at him it seemed. There are so many expectations and so many disappointments. You pin your hopes on those brief times during the day that you communicate. If things don't work well that day or you have a bad day it can be devastating when the communication gets strained. You'd have to be in an LDR to understand, I suppose.
Phillippides: Well, I couldn't see her on a day to day basis like most other couples see one another, so it was very difficult. Our only ways of communication were either the phone or instant messenger. So there wasn't the spontaneity to just go and do things together all of a sudden, since there was a six hour drive between us. That was very different, and it was difficult to overcome the distance between us.
Whiterose: If you had it all to do over again, would you still choose to be in a LDR?
Bubbleee: Heck no. I'd never choose to be in a LDR with a guy 30 years younger than me. I didn't really "choose" it the first time. Sometimes life happens to you while you were busy doing something else. Love can be that way too.
Phillippides: Hell yes. I got a very wonderful girlfriend out of the deal. She's wonderful to be with. Also, if not for her, I wouldn't have moved to the college I am currently at, which is a very good school. What can I say? It's a beautiful night out, all is right with the world, and I'm here with my honey.
Whiterose: Any other pearls of wisdom or comments you’d like to share with us about LDR’s?
Bubbleee: Just say NO to LDR's *winks*. Just like age-gap relationships, LDR's are not for wimps. You reach the emotional peak when you are reunited, only to be let down again when you separate. I honestly don't know how any of us do it. I mean that sincerely.
Phillippides: I agree with my gf that this sh** definitely isn't for the weak of heart. Also, when talking on im or the phone, and something doesn't come off quite right, always give the benefit of the doubt, especially on im. It's so hard to tell one's mood at times on instant messaging.
Whiterose: Anything else you want me to include in the interview?
Phillippides: Well, I like this quote by Steve Prefontaine, and I think it can go with darn near any situation. "To give anything less than the best is to sacrifice the gift." I hope to give my best to Bubbleee for a long, long time.
Thank you to Bubbleee and Phillippides for such a wonderful interview. They are an inspiration to all of us in LDR’s and in age gap relationships.