Got a question

Hi,

What is the best way to tell somone how you feel? I just meet a nice woman in the gym at my college. She is 28 and I am 20, now I know that may not seem like much of an age gap to everyone but to me it is. Anyway, we started up a converstation and I really enjoyed it. From what I can tell so far she is a sweet, nice person but I know first impressions can be decieving. The other quality I liked about her was that race was not a problem. I am black and she is white. My friends and I have expericed problems when two different races decide to be friends, so that is why I brought up the race issue. I want to ask her out but I don't want to be rejected. Every other time I have been in this kind of situation with a girl (and asked her out) I have been put into the "friend zone". That gets old fast and I don't enjoy having my hopes raised and then being let down. I really want to make a move but don't want to seem pushy.
What do you guys think?

do you guys have mutual friends? if so, suggest an outing with all of ya then maybe ease into a conversation of just the two of you doing something.
if you've got real good mutual friends, maybe they already know something you don't.
if not......play it smooth. a woman loves it when a guy plays it smooth. not ****y, not "omg woman i know you gotta want this". smooth, confident, when you're speaking to or with her, she's the only one you see.....smooooth.
you should get def. signals one way or the other from any approach you use. just be respectful and her friend first and foremost.
let us know !!!!!!

:D

Tracy

p.s. my Lewis told me on the 2nd day that he was "feeling" me. within 5 days, had told me that he loved me. it worked. lol
i guess you gotta go with what you feel.

I think... race is not an issue. I think age is not an issue... But, that's just me.

See, there was this 'friend' I had back in college. I'm a white girl (well, I look white - but I'm truly a mutt)... he was black/asian man. We were very good friends. I had a HUGE crush on him. I never got up the nerve to ask him out and he never got up the nerve to ask me out. Three years later, I run into him. I'm back visitin my alma mater with my 18 month old son, and he says to me after a while, "I should have asked you out."

I can't even begin to tell you how much, TO THIS DAY, that irks me. We could have been so great together. He was... WOW. Gorgeous, brilliant, sensitive, caring and a fabulous friend. I never thought of him in terms of his race, or his age. He thought of me in terms of my race and my age. He said, "Well, I didn't think you'd like me, cuz I'm black." I said, "Damnit. We were friends. Did I ever give you ANY reason to think I thought of you as JUST some "black" kid?"

I've kind of been watching some bantering in one of the other areas of this board about race... Look, my skin may be white, but my heart is HUMAN. My YM is half latino. I just moved out of a neighborhood I absolutely loved where I was truly a minority ~ but never made to feel anything but human and all my neighbors were WONDERFUL.

Saying that race is not an issue is different than living with race not being an issue. If you choose to judge people based on their actions, you can learn to not see things in black and white. I wouldn't trade in my friends for anything in the world! Social status be damned. I like you for who you are and what you mean to me.

So... if she's a friend... pursue being her friend. If she's the kind of person who judges you on your skin color, she's not worth your time and you're better off without her. If she likes you and shows it with all the obvious ways (extra eye contact, occasional light touches, requests to see you again, etc., etc.) then ask her out. If you're not gettin' that 'vibe,' move on! :D

~phosphorescent...

P.S. Last time I got married, I ended up having a 20 minute argument with the people at city hall. They require you to put down your 'race' on the form. I look white, but I have american indian in my ancestry - so I consider myself an all american mutt. I wrote "Human" in the box. They refused that and ended up putting 'white,' which TO THIS DAY, pisses me off.

Just keep talkin' to her bro and see where things lead. What do ya' got to lose? :)

Hi,

Thanks for your responses guys, I was very confused. I will see her in class tomorrow so I will just take it from there and see what happens. I'll keep you updated on what happens too.