New to Board - need help

So, I find myself here...so nice to see other OW in relationships with YM.

It used to never be this way...in fact, my longest relationship (1.5 years) was with a man who was 13 years older than me. Recently, most of the men I've dated had been +/- 2 years in age from me...no big deal. However, my potential love interest is a lot younger than me...or so it seems.

At any rate, it is a coworker that I really like. I discovered about 2 months ago that I really like him and it's been non-stop flirting and fact finding ever since. I believe he feels the same way. Luckily we work in different departments in different parts of the building & see each other sporatically. I knew he was younger than me, but I didn't think by much. I'm 30, btw... Last night, for the heck of it, I ran his name through one of those people search sites...he's only 24!!! (Will be 25 in a couple months) I really like him & I am not all that bothered by this. However, I look a lot younger than I really am (people mistaken me for being 23 or 24...ahh...) and I'm so afraid he will be turned off when I mention that I'm 30. Yes I'm 30, but I'm not off to start a family anytime soon; in fact, I'm also attending college part-time to get my degree.

We haven't done anything together outside work yet, but I welcome the opportunity. Heck - I'd quit & find a job somewhere else if I had to. My nerves are completely fried over this. Any good ways to come across with my age and to take that next step?

Hi Maylily and Welcome to Ageless,
Gee, your only 5 years older than this y/m......a drop in the bucket around here LOL. You said you were with a guy before wiho was 13 years older than you. If that age difference didnt bother you, I dont know why 5 years should, especially since you say you look about this y/m's age anyway. As for me, Id just tell him your age, if the subject comes up. If he cant deal with it then you wouldnt have had much with him anyway. Second, if you lie, he may do as you did and check you out and find out anyway and feel he couldnt trust anything you say since you lied about your age. Just my thoughts.
Can I ask......what did you mean by .........

Heck - I'd quit & find a job somewhere else if I had to.:confused:

Welcome to Ageless!

How exciting that you have a new romantic interest. Don't worry about the age gap--it is miniscule. I am 24 years older than my boyfriend and many of the other members are in similar situations.

Just relax and enjoy the flirtation. If he asks your age, then just tell him the truth. It probably won't bother him.

Work relationships can be difficult, so just to warn you, in the past year, several women here have had flirtations with younger coworkers and have tried to start real-life relationships with them with disastrous results. If I were you, I would let him be the initiator of any away-from-work contact. Just give him the right signals and see what happens.

"Heck - I'd quit & find a job somewhere else if I had to."

Oh...meaning that I'm not really that thrilled with my current position & company. Like a lot of people in the last couple years, I got laid off and took the first job that came along. It's less $ and less responsibilities, but it's keeping me afloat. Now that things are getting better, I hope to look for a better job - it may be too soon to pursue one in the field that I am studying now. Sometimes I wonder if destiny drove me to this company...

As far as the 5.5 year age gap goes, it seems big to me, because it's a 24 year old male with a 30 year old female. (10 or 20 years from now, it won't be so bad) Almost a generation gap in the eyes of a lot of people. It's ok for a 30 year old male to hook up with a 24 year old female, but not the other way around?!?!? Considering how I feel for this guy, I really don't care.

The best thing to do, I guess, is take this one day at a time & see what happens.

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about, I met my YM in April at a bar, he told me his age first, and I considered lying about my age. He is 21, I am 30!!!! I thought this is insane, he said later that he thought I was 23, 24 tops. When I asked him if my age bothered him he didn't care a bit. Believe me, YM kinda dig OW, I didn't even know that until this. But, since I met him I keep getting the youngin's asking me out or if they can buy me a drink, in fact the other night the bouncer at a bar checked my ID and didn't let me in he thought it was a fake, then he quized me and ended up asking me out, he was only 24 and knew my age from my ID.

Don't let age get in the way right now, keep pursuing and see what happens, go with the flow, let it unfold one day at a time. It's fun!!!!

Welcome to agelesslove, Maylily. I agree with Red. Go with the flow. Let things happen. And don't worry about a few years.

Whiterose, age 46, in love with Remi who is 18 years younger.

Cute...five year age difference *smiles genuinely*. I am dating a wonderful 24, almost 25 year old adorable guy right now...have been for two months. When he first called to ask me out he said that it took him a lot of courage since he "thought I would just blow him off since he was younger." (Point: some younger guys are dying to go out with us "OW", but are scared to death we'll think they are too young!)
Anyway, after I relayed the fact that I actually prefer to date younger men (and he responded with an elated, "Nice!"), I said, "But, J, do you know how old I am?" His response was classic for a younger man attracted to an older woman..
He said, "Does it matter?"
Not to me :D
By the way...I told him how old I was anyway during our first date..... 47.... and it still doesn't matter!

Relax, if he likes what he sees and knows about you, your age would have no bearing on a decision to be with you. My suggestion....continue letting him know you're interested by the flirtations, etc...because more than likely rather than hesitate because he thought you might be too old for him, he might lack the courage to pursue you thinking that you'd consider him too young for you. a 24-25 year old guy pretty much knows what he wants, and if it's you....Go for it!!! And don't look back. You'll love it, believe me.
Hugs, Karen

Sorry to question you Special K. But in your first post you were 52 and he was 37. You were both married. Now all of a sudden you are 47 and he is 24? Have I missed something?


I think there are two Special K's spelled differently. Sorry for the post if I'm wrong. This is confusing. :)

EWWWW My Bad :) Sorry didn't mean to question someone's honesty !!! I didn't pay enough attention to the spelling. I haven't been on as long as you guys to recognize the difference right away. Thanks for the correction ;)

at least you guys noticed it.

how long have i been asleep?

obviously, it's time for a lil nappy poo.

:D

Trace

Maylily,
you said
It's ok for a 30 year old male to hook up with a 24 year old female, but not the other way around?!?!? Considering how I feel for this guy, I really don't care.


Well, good for you, and I agree . If all else is well with the two of you... to heck with the age difference. I didnt mean to make light of your concerns over your age gap because Im sure its just as much something you had to concider as anyone in a larger gap, but glad to hear your not going to let it stop what you have with this y/m..
http://www.heathersanimations.com/dance1/couple15.gif