Weekend

Hi All!! I hope everyone is doing well. Just wanted to tell you it was so nice to see Dan on Friday and Sunday, I am going to Iowa on Friday to spend the weekend with him. It's so weird how all my doubt melts away when I am with him. I think I am my own worst enemy. We had a great time together and I stole one of his t-shirts when he left so I had something to keep that smelled like him. I highly recommend that!! Hope all is well!!!

P.S. I hope it doesn't bother anyone when I post like this, it's almost like my diary in a way. :) :)

Originally posted by red

P.S. I hope it doesn't bother anyone when I post like this, it's almost like my diary in a way. :) :)

Don't be silly! That's why we have this forum. So, you can post with others who understand how it feels.

I'm so glad you got some time with him and that you're already able to see him again so soon. Good for you! And, good for you for snagging one of his t-shirts. I tried to do that when I was with Remi, but he caught me and refused to part with any. :rolleyes:

Yeah, he doesn't know that I stole it yet. I will bring it with me this weekend to get a fresh one, even exchange. I wonder when he will catch me! LOL :p

I am really big on pranks and practical jokes so if you are too, the next time you see your guy, this could make you both laugh.

I stole on of my ex's baseball hats, with out him knowing. And I went camping with some girlfriends, with the hat on, taking pictures with it on. Then when I was at my cousins I had him wear it and took a picture and had some random friends wear it in pictures here and there at restaurants or bars. So my ex sees these pictures, not even knowing his hat is missing and just can't figure out what is going on. It was hilarious!!!

It works better with a trinket or something like a stuffed animal, and you take it to work, snap a picture of it in a kitcken or conference room, then dinner or your families house. But, you don't tell your guy you have it then when you develop the pictures, its just too funny!!

Maybe I'm just a clepto? hmmm

I just got home from a fun weekend with Dan. When I left him I started to cry, and he just tried to get out of my car asap so I would stop crying. This is so terribly hard, I want stability and for him to be 100% available to me. I know he only has till May away at school, but God it is so hard for me. I keep getting my doubting feelings, they pop up unexpectedly like today when I left him. My drive home all I did was think and cry and think and cry. I am afraid that I am at a point of no return and if this didn't work out between us it would completely devistate me. I am not sure why love means so much to me, I think it means more to me than the average person. Dan handles it so well, when he leaves or when I leave, how does he have this confidence and upbeat personality and I am sitting here crying? I know it isn't that he doesn't care as much as me. But, something is missing in him that I have that makes me handle this the way I do. This saddness that doesn't effect me on a daily basis, but in these times it is so hard. What do I do? I wish I could see in the future and go from there.

Thank you so much! It is nice to have people that understand what I am feeling, sometimes when I talk to my friends they don't understand or have a lack of interest. They dont understand where I am coming from.

When I left Dan today, and the tears were rolling, I kept thinking how painful it is to leave him, and how i don't know if I can do this again. Its so hard, i really hope it will all pay off in the end and be worth all this. I guess I need to gain my faith back again somehow.

I think that the most difficult part about being in an LDR is the first few days/weeks after you become separated again. It's like you have to relive that pain over and over again.

I am sure that he is hurting, too. He just may show his hurting differently than you.

I know that when I said goodbye to Remi, he tried to be a clown and make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. I began to wonder if he really would miss me after all. But, then I turned around and saw that he was watching me walk away until I was completely out of sight and that reassured me. I was able to make it onto the plane without breaking down. I broke down later, after I got home. And I was so sad that I became a crazy woman for a full month. I went into "stinking thinking" mode.

I agree with everything Dragonfly has said. Try to stay busy. Focus on yourself. And come here and vent to us anytime. :)

It's really hard, I hate being sad like this. It's not fair at all, we should be with the ones we love. I think there is some cosmic reason as to why I met this wonderful person and this happens. I think if Dan and I can get through this year together, we can do anything.

On a down note, this morning I am paranoid, scared and missing him like crazy.

awwww, Red. Big hugs to you. I know exactly how you are feeling. I'm missing Remi so much today that I can hardly focus on anything else. :(

Whiterose, it is so hard I know. I am taking out my frustrations at work, I need to stop it. I just got angry at a vendor and all she was trying to do was help me, but I am so frustrated. I need to release this somehow, what do you do for your release? I'm thinking kickboxing or something. I'm sorry you are missing Remi today as well, but like Dragonfly said, if you didn't care so much it wouldn't hurt so much, kind of our measure of feelings. I hope you have a good day, chin up! :)

I deal with my feelings mostly by talking to friends who are in similiar situations. I post here, but usually discuss it privately through instant messaging with a good friend of mine who is also in an AGR LDR. It just helps to commiserate and whine.

Kickboxing sounds like a great idea. Maybe I'll consider learning how to do that.

Maybe you can join us in our LDR chat on Saturday night.

I would love to meet up with you guys on Saturday night, but it seems I have stuff going on every Saturday night with my friends, I have 3 friends getting married next year, and I am maid of honor for all 3 weddings, so we have been really busy, and not to mention I am broke too so it would be more ideal for me to meet you guys in chat on Saturday nights instead of all the expensive stuff I've been doing.

Is there any way we can make it 2 times a week, maybe a weeknight and Saturday?

It may be doable for me. I'll post that suggestion on the thread about the chat.

That would be great, thank you!!!

LOL, I never even heard of that saying Sally! But it doesn't matter even if it were true. Because after all this crap my friends are going through and what I am doing for them, crazy things that I don't even want to tell them about, I don't know if I could ever get married in a traditional way. Seriously, I think Vegas is even too much for me, I think a new dress some flowers plucked and a court house is all I need/want.