eeeps...two days to wedding day and i think ive got cold feet=)

OK...i love this man and he loves my family. WHY am I picking fights and feeling invaded??? After 8 years on my own with the kids...mind you Kurt (my almost husband)...has been there for six of them...it is hard to imagine LIVING again with a MAN. Lord...no more, MOM...is this a 'pick your own supper' again night....=) I love those nights when we can just do weight watcher meals and let my son go get his own pizza. Heck there is CEREAL in the cabinet if you are REALLY hungry=) We spent the entire weekend together....him coming here after every work break....staying until bedtime then going to his apt. to sleep....I was almost relieved when he left=). Today I am noticing every last thing about him that bugs me and feeling so ridiculous....like COME ON DARLA....he accepts me as I AM (no SMALL feat indeed) and even LOVES me for them. Think I've always been open-minded, but change, even though wanted, is always different. My family and I are about to transition and I think I'm just nervous that all go well. I wish for my kids to always know they are loved. Kurt loves them as his own, but I know the younger teenagers feel like we are going to have to give up part of our life...in order to share it with someone else. I feel it too...maybe even Kurt feels it but hasn't shared those thoughts with me. This change is a wonderful one for us....just pray for us as we work out the personalities and 'kinks' that go along with remarriage WITH kids=). Pray for me that I be gentle, loving, and find a spot in this home for SPACE to get away when needed=). Love, Darla

Originally posted by singalou
My family and I are about to transition and I think I'm just nervous that all go well.


I think this says it all. Of course you're nervous. There's alot of pressure on you because of this change.

But, after 6 years of being with him, I am sure that everyone is going to do just fine.

So, relax, enjoy your wonderful wedding day. And take lots of pictures for us!

((((((( GREAT BIG HUGS )))))))

Katrina

*nodding*
i'm leaving today to be with my SO, and then we return with a fiance visa, marry next month.
i've been doing the same things you speak of, having the same thoughts...
happy, excited, scared...
all part of changing to a new chapter in our lives...

darla... all the best. have a wonderful wedding day... a wonderful future...

Darla - - - You'll be fine!!! You're just stressed :eek: Weddings do that to people. Relax and take it easy.

And CONGRATULATIONS!! :D

Awwwwww Darla! Your right, it's the cold feet. The jitters! It's normal.

MrsHedgehog is right...who says you can't still have "pick your own dinner" night? Im sure he can get his own pizza too!

I know exactly what you mean, though, about having someone else in the house when you have been on your own for a long time. Raising your children yourself gives you a certain "freedom" for lack of a better word. You make your own decisions without having to take into consideration someone elses thoughts and feelings, and in a way thats nice. It's really difficult to let part of that go.....I know.

It's just an adjustment period, and this too shall pass....

I know its probably a hectic time right now with the wedding so close, but don't forget to take just a little time for yourself alone, if its possible, even if its just a long bubble bath or going to bed a little earlier with a good book.

((hugs)) Im really excited for you. It's going to be wonderful.

cold feet alert !!!

you'll do fine. the BOTH of you will do more than fine. he's enriching your life, not invading it, remember that gal.

oh and we had "fend for yaself" nights :D, gotta love those. cuz sometimes what he wanted was soooo not what i wanted.

i'm so jealous, btw.

CONGRATULATIONS !!!

:D
Trace

By all means, hang in there.

God only knows why our minds do things like this to us, but hey, you know this man, you've spent the time together, you're ready for this, you know what you want, it's just STUFF.

I know it isn't easy, but try to laugh about it, if you can, and heck, if you need to pick a little fight now and then, go ahead.

Everybody will survive until tomorrow.

And congratulations!

Originally posted by singalou
OK...i love this man and he loves my family. WHY am I picking fights and feeling invaded??? . . .

Today I am noticing every last thing about him that bugs me and feeling so ridiculous....like COME ON DARLA....he accepts me as I AM (no SMALL feat indeed) and even LOVES me for them. . . .

My family and I are about to transition and I think I'm just nervous that all go well.

. . . I know the younger teenagers feel like we are going to have to give up part of our life...in order to share it with someone else. I feel it too...maybe even Kurt feels it but hasn't shared those thoughts with me.
{{{HUGS}}}

Darla,

I think the best thing you can do for your future husband is to tell him about your feelings! Otherwise, when you pick fights or pull back from him, he may wonder whether you are having second thoughts about him or the marriage. He may become worried that you don't truly love him. In his confusion, he may even pick a fight with you! Then you will feel even worse, and your children will start feeling anxious.

Your feelings at this time are perfectly normal. Nevertheless, he may not understand this. He may feel rejected, or insecure. Can you tell him the things that you just told us? I'm sure he wants to know what is going on in your head, and in your heart. He doesn't want to have to guess what is going on, when you start behaving in a way that he doesn't understand.

You know, he may have some apprehensions, too, and he might want to confess them to you! Maybe you can have some quiet time together before the wedding, to get it all out in the open and reassure each other.

All the best to both of you.
Marie

I'd be worried about you if you didn't have a little bit of cold feet! :) You're an independent woman, and have come this far on your own and now you are going to incorporate this man into your life. It's alot of change for you.

Try not to think so hard with your head, and just listen to your heart and what it is telling you. If you really love Kurt and marry him, you will find a new normal in time, and that normal won't be exactly the same but it will be good nonetheless. Children are flexible and they will adapt, especially since they've known him for six years now.

There are times I wish Phil would go home and leave me alone. But if he were to leave my life permanently, I don't honestly know what I'd do. I bet you feel the same about Kurt.

You're getting married. Everything else will take care of itself in time. It's gonna be ok.

Much happiness to you both.

Bubs

you know ladies.....u are the best! All of you have so many things to share....wisdom to give. Think we all have been there dun that....guess that's what this wonderful journey of life we're in does to us=). You are rite in that I do know this man....I've seen him at his best and his worst....just as he has me. We've lived to survive teenage driving, dating, alcohol and kids, drug experimentation, good grades, failed classes, dreams and nightmares, proms, packing kids for college, ex-husbands and visitation...well u know;) We disagree on politics, ways to handle difficult people and situations...and have come out of all of it with a renewed respect and love for each other. Today we did talk about me sitting at the computer for two hours this am wondering why the heck im getting married....we laughed, cried, he told me that it feels strange for him too and that even guys think about those things;) He worries about my kids just as I do....and I do thank God daily that he IS a man that can take seat #2 in my own life when situations demand it. We're ready to go....my daughter finally agreed to sing a piece I love which I wasn't sure she was going to=). We'll take some good pics to post and thank you all again....love, Darla

just wanted to contribute some warm and fuzzy thoughts on your wedding day

hope it was a wonderful day... and may it be the beginning of everything you dream for



pictures! ;)