disapproval x

Have just started dating a guy who is 13 years older than me. I have clicked with him in an amazing way. He seems to understand me.

My only problem is I know that my mom is going to go crazy. Has anyone else had this problem?

ok then lol

I have just decided to go with the flow ion it. Afterall, I have to make my own decisions :-)

Sorry about the lack of response. I think maybe it's that you weren't very specific about the situation and it's a pretty common concern anyways. I hope you looked through some of the older threads on the subject, they can be really helpful.

Give your mom as much benefit of the doubt as you can. She might surprise you and react more positively than you expect. Then again, she might not. But you owe it to your relationship to be honest with your family about it, regardless of what they'll think. Just don't make the age difference out to be a bigger deal than it is (and it isn't a big deal) and concentrate on the good qualities of your new SO when you "break the news." Also, do you have other family members who might be more supportive? Maybe they could talk to her if she goes nuts or anything.

I agree with Pink Panther. 13 years is not that big of a deal. You are an adult and can make your own decisions. Just act like its normal (because it is), and if your man is kind and respectful and supportive, then no one should have a problem with him. Your mother might not freak out as much as you think, so get it out in the open. The more of a secret you make it, the more your family will think you're hiding things from them, and the more they will think there's a reason you're hiding things. Live your life how you want to live it.

Good luck.

It's true....when Pink said to give your Mom the benefit of the doubt....I couldn't agree w/ her more. I thought my parents would flip. I got a deep sigh from my Mom, and I was preparing myself for what I thought was going to be a long lecture....all she said was "As long as he treats you well and respects you." I was floored! My Dad I knew wouldn't have a problem with it...he's after younger women himself :D lol.

All the best! I'm glad you are going to follow your heart....you both deserve it!

I wasnt getting at anyone. was laughing tbh,asI know the answers for myself. me and my mom have on going issues. Have recently received counselling over it. That is why I know her response already. Thank you for the reposes.very nice of you.will lokk at the older threads.

But once again, was not getting at anyone.was being light hearted.sorry x

Of course there are people who have had this problem. I have, and I do, and I could go on ad nauseum until we all puke AGAIN, because I've talked about it so much before. That's what sucks about new posters bringing up topics that have already been discussed, because to them they're new and mysterious, whereas I am rarely motivated anymore to rehash every painful thing that's happened since my parents were informed of my relationship.

I'm sorry, I know just what it's like to be in your shoes, but the only advice I can really offer is that you're going to have to do what makes you happy, even if that makes your mom unhappy. It's hard, you'll feel guilty, you may even doubt yourself, but it's your life. And they don't call it unconditional love for no reason. You cannot control or choose her behavior. So you do your thing, she'll do hers, and maybe someday you'll meet in the middle. Maybe you won't, or maybe not for a very long time. But you can't live your mom's version of how your life should be. And as that becomes more clear, it will be easier to deal with.

Hi there....

Well I never had this problem... I thought I was.. but when I told her she surprised me... she of cou rse said something.. are you sure you want to do this? If you love him then thats all that matters she said... My mom Loves my husband... they were just on the phone talking....

I don't think 13 years is a huge gap... My husband is 17 years older than me.... You are an adult and can make your own decisions now... respect your mom and tell her the truth and explain it to her.... but realize her concerns also.. don't disregard them... but understand them... but make sure she knows that you need to do this for you....

Good Luck Keep us posted!!

Just wanted to add to the posters whose parents were basically fine with it. I told my parents when we first started dating, I told them the age gap (18 years). I too got a heavy sigh and a "well, I hope he treats you well." I told them it was a very casual relationship (it was at the time).

The day after they finally met him, my mother said to me that she was not sure about it at first, but once she saw us together, she saw how much he loved me and how well he treated me, there was absolutely nothing she could object to.

Just FYI: my brother is married to a woman 13 years older - they met after our wedding.