Let's make some music: the Ageless hoedown!

Okay guys, let's make some music here. In the interests of keeping it amusing, let's do a hoedown in the style of "Who's Line is it Anyway!"

If you've never watched the show, or have but forgot the hoedown bit, this site (http://www.geocities.com/hoedownsite/uslyrics.html) has lyrics from all of the hoedowns (both US and UK versions, US is the linked one).

We'll each do a stanza of 4 lines, and we'll see how it develops.

The topic du jour, one near and dear to most of our broken hearts, the ex.

My ex was a sex addict, it really was a pain --
He left me for two other girls, he really had no shame!
But I got the last laugh, although he was obscene,
Cuz my new honey's "bigger", if you know what I mean! ;)

I've been really lucky, I've never had an ex,
Until I met my Scarlet, all I had were X-Ray specs.
If I ever had an ex, I'd be talking to a witch --
Someone who could help me lose the crazy... pain in the ***.

LMAO! OMG, too funny. Okay, I am gonna have to think of one. Be back!

Originally posted by Jo-Admin
LMAO! OMG, too funny. Okay, I am gonna have to think of one. Be back!

Cool! We'll be waiting!

And everyone else... jump in! The water's fine! :D

Okay okay...Let me see if I can do it....

My ex don't pay support, and he owes me a lot....
He can't hold a job, but he drinks and smokes pot,
His lives in a shack, and his car is a loaner....
Cuz all he's really good for is a...sperm donor.

Yee Ha!

(hows that Scarlet?)

Originally posted by Jo-Admin
Okay okay...Let me see if I can do it....

My ex don't pay support, and he owes me a lot....
He can't hold a job, but he drinks and smokes pot,
His lives in a shack, and his car is a loaner....
Cuz all he's really good for is a...sperm donor.

Yee Ha!

(hows that Scarlet?)

AWESOME JODY! :D

Originally posted by Jlojsuperman
btw this is true! Mod me if you have too but this is what came to mind right away! lol so I am saying sorry in advance. lol

... doesn't look mod-worthy to me, so no need for the sorry in advance. I'll just pocket it for later. :)

I had an ex named Becky...I thought she was the one.
But she cheated on me and that wasn't very fun
But if I ever see her I know I'll get a thrill
Cause she will be sticking my car's ole grill!

TO MY CAR'S OLE GRILL!!

Have sex with ex's can really be quite fun
Cause then you can leave when you are both done
A great time can be had cause you are both now free
And you can keep on laughing when you give her an STD!

GIVE HER AN STD!!

(No, I would never do that! But I think I've seen ever WLIIT episode, American and British...so I love the game lol)

Wooo! Nice ones! Go Dan! :D

LOL Thanks Scarlet!

Here's another one...

Getting revenge on an ex can re-ally be sweet
Making them mad with jealousy is always a nice old treat
And I've got a plan that will succeed without fail
I'll tape myself with my current gal and send it to her* in the mail!

SEND IT TO HER IN THE MAIL!

In college I once had an ex, he really was a pain,
In fact I've often wondered if he was just insane --
He never seemed to understand we just weren't meant to be,
Even though he stalked me and I called security!

I CALLED SECURITEEEEEE! :D

here's a bit about my ex, who was a lying cheat
I found lacy panties in his shoe, perhaps he was using them to warm his feet
I pulled them out of his shoe and wrapped them around his neck
he didn't look so happy, but I said "what the heck!"


I saaaid "what the heeeeeeeck":p

My ex left me with the bills he thought he was a pimp
Until I found out the meds he took made him stay limp...
I payed and payed and payed and payed until trouble was no mo'
but I got the last laugh when I... saw him with dat ho'

YEAHHHH...I SAW HIM WITH DAT HO'...YUCK!

I knew a guy who was a... day trader by trade
He felt he was above the law and did anything to get paid
He lied and cheated and stole and screwed just to get his way
But he found out the hard way... when he lost it all one day...

YEAH...ITS TRUE...HE lost ALL OF IT in one day!!!

Mr. Daytrader worked and worked to try and blame the Jews
But it really was his own fault cause he never paid his dues
He lied and cheated and stole and screwed and thought he'd get his way
But when he's at the doors to heaven he is going down that day...


Going DOWN THAT DAY...YEP its true!!!

I'm always in the clouds because my current guys a dream
but Ex Mr. Daytrader always trys to ruin every-thing!
He calls and emails and yells and screams until his face is blue...
but the Corporate Lawyers said if they hear from him again -- he's through...


Oh Yeah He's THROUGH!

Holy hootenanny, First Love! You're a hoedown MACHINE!!! :eek:

Rock the casbah!... er, I mean... Git down y'all! Make way for First Love, the Hoedown Queen!!! :D

My ex husband decided to have sex with a 22 year old bartender ...
Even though its been more then a year I still wanna back end her ..
By the time he realized his act bought him the end of his marriage ..
I had all his crap packed up in the bed of his Nissan Frontier Carriage!!

I HAD ALLL HIS CRAP PACKED UP IN THE BED OF HIS NEEEESSSONN FRUNNNTUYEEEERRR CAREEAGGGGEE!

Whooo hoo! that felt great! :D

My ex seemed like a prince charming
Till one day I caught him a bit alarming
Realizing he was a not a stud
and I was about to settle for a dud
I realized I would be better off alone, No not farming!!

My last ex was a young one, we met late at night
I took her to the movies and that was just right
But then she didn’t like me and that is how it ends
She dumped in the parking lot in front of my Mercedes Benz.

In front of my Mercedes Benzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz