didnt see the melt down coming

its real easy looking like a strong person when i am married to a man who keeps me on my feet by making sure that he tells me nearly everyday that he loves me and desires me and cant wait for our life together..... its always been Adam who kept that apple cart rolling along, the last two weeks since he has been on this training mission in Poland, we have found every conceivable way to make a posititive out of a negative but these past two weeks kicked butt, my butt.

tonight we were on line for 3 hours, you would have sworn we had not talked in months, i have cryed deep tears, its bittersweet to cry from the depth of your heart because i miss him and love him and yet have two years ahead of us because of deployment and being stationed overseas. I plan to go back to Italy in November, making up as much time as possible before deployment in March. I will be traveling back and forth the next months..... most times I thank God for the gift of my husband and dont let myself get to this state, then i go to times I am so proud of him and just honored he choose me. (he says the same for me)

we told each other that God has made us stronger by this, and that because of this we can take on the world. He told me he misses me and dreams of me. Adam can make me cry with very little effort, we both are a bit of a mess tonight, as hard as this is, I would not trade this for anything, it is our journey, it is our life and our love is everything and more than i could have ever hoped for.

kitty 45 and adam 24....

I hear you.... but it is so much better to cry because we love rather than cry because we have no one to love.

Even in your pain, you are blessed. I pray God's peace will find you and hold you tenderly.
Barbara

Dear kitty,

I read your post and my heart just breaks for you.

Phil and I are finally together after waiting for over a year. We don't live together but we do spend some nights together and it's wonderful.

Last night he came in after working his shift and I hadn't seen him in a few days, and I just swept him up in my arms. And to see his eyes twinkle with love for me, like they always do, was well worth the wait.

Sometimes you just have to let all the emotions go, like Dragonfly said. I have certainly been there myself. Focus on seeing him in November and cry whenever you need to. Someway, somehow, it's all going to be ok for you both.

Hugs,
Bub

Kitty, my heart goes out to you. I know what it's like to be so strong most of the time and then have one of those crashing moments. But, you will get through it. You are so right to focus on your future together. So, take it one day at a time, one moment at a time, and believe that the day will come when these trying days are behind you both.

(((( GREAT BIG HUGS TO YOU AND ADAM ))))

Just wanted to send a hug and a big old aww... to you. I know there's nothing anybody can say to make it better, but you have all my support and good wishes if that makes it even a teeny-weeny fraction easier to bear.

Just remember these words of yours:

"As hard as this is, I would not trade this for anything, it is our journey, it is our life and our love is everything and more than i could have ever hoped for"

It will comfort you.

thank you it is good to know that the kind people of this board do care and i suppose even if i thought it was unusual to have such strong sad feelings, it is good to hear that this is normal also, as of my post i am hours away of yet another hurricane, i have to tell you, i have gone to work today, napped, eaten and just relaxed, i have a roof leak that is bothersome at the moment that was supposed to be fixed last week. hurricanes are exhausting yet being hit three times in such a short period of time has left all of us jaded and grateful that we have suffered lightly compared to the people of the carribbean, Haiti has hundreds dead and because of the poverty of that country there will probably be many more not accounted for.

so off i go back to bed with a book and my kittycat "BeBe" he was actually originally called "Phoebe" but he turned out to be a boy so hence the name change, i think he still thinks hes a girl, he is gender challenged... anyway, thank you all, the rain is beginning to pound and the wind screaming so we are hunkering down for yet another one of these yucko storms.... THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. kitty

I just reread the posts again. THANK YOU!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!! i dont try to get compliments, i tend to try to lay low but boy it feels nice to read what you wrote. love to you all!!!!

kitty...

*H's*

I fell asleep and slept thru the last hurricane, it hit around 100 miles north very very hard, devastation. we knew that our outcome would be severe storm, down power lines, uprooted trees, damaged roofs, I did not suffer any of these problems.

I am working like a doggy to get another sale under my belt to go see Adam in a month or so again, its funny we were more relaxed up until now, we know around the corner is Afghanistan and we are both getting nervous that we will be forced to have more distance, but we will email every nite and we will do EVERYTHING possible to stay in contact, I wish you could meet Adam, You all know I love him, but you all would be so proud of him also, he is just such a GOOD person, deeply and true to the core, it does not hurt that he is a cutie pie also. Thank you again for your love and hopefully NO MORE HURRICANES.