Religiously Speaking

Hello everyone.

This is officially my first post and I must admit I feel much like a fish out of water.

The main theme of my post regards people's experiences with churches and how they received this type of relationship.

To help understand where my question comes from, I will provide a brief bio.

I am 23 years old and my fiance is 41. I was introduced to him by his friend and my uncle, when I first moved to Florida. My OM had been separated for 1 year and was going through the legalities of a divorced, to be finalized 3 months later. We started spending time together, just as friends. My uncle kicked me out of his house and quit talking to both of us because of this, even though he encouraged it before. We all attend the same church. We started to get real close and knew we cared about each other, but refrained from pursuing until his divorce was finalized. We've known each other for 6 months, and have recently started getting serious.

We are uncomfortable attending church together because many people know his ex-wife and hate the eyes that through accusations of him leaving his wife for a younger woman or him being my "sugar-daddy". My parents and family are very accepting.

Is there any biblical basis for concern, or just advice. I'm torn between two principles "thow shall not judge" and "appearances of evil".

P.S. I'm about to go through my 3rd hurricane of the season, please pray for me!!

Welcome to Ageless!!!

I will pray for you all down in florida thru these hurricanes... my grandfather lives their luckily his house is ok... and he was at my moms in boston for the first one... he was home for the second one... and Now he's in California for jeane. so....

Anyway...

you and your OM are doing the right thing... and your Uncles choice not to accept it.... but it's your life ......I don't think any of this has to do with religion.....My husband is 17 years older than me.. I am 29 and he is 46 and we just had a beautiful baby boy in July... we've been together for 3 years and married for 1 year.....

Seems like your parents are ok with it...so Go for it I see no reason not to!!

who cares what others think.... they aren't the ones in the relationship... Thou shall not judge!!:)

Yearning for God in the Midst of Distress: Psalm 42

possibly praying for God's will to be revealed would be my first prayer. then, if i had a woman in the congregation that i cared very deeply about and who I could talk too, I would tell her my troubles.

The easiest thing to do is to look around and see everyone elses un-Godly behavior, that takes the heat off of you. But if you really wish to please God first then you need to pray for His assistance in this time of trouble.

If the relationship is a spiritual connection then praying together, holding hands, speaking to the Father is probably a good thing. At this point I would ask that both of you be HONEST. If this relationship is of God, then you both should not have any problem unburdening your hearts completely and honestly to God and praying for His will in your lives.

Pray for forgiveness for your uncle and if this a Godly relationship it will stand the test of time. No one knows God's will, we can only pray that it will be revealed to us, but in the mean time we continue to do the next right thing. If both of you have done things in a way pleasing to God, you really dont have anything to worry about. No one is perfect we all make mistakes, whats important is that when we do realize we are stepping out of our faith, we get back in, we are forgiven, thats how it works, so the answers are really in your heart and your fiance's heart.

Take care and God Bless, and by the way, I also live in florida. (Fort Lauderdale) I AM SICK OF HURRICANES!!!!!!!!!!

"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." Gospel of John.

I would seriously consider attending another church. It might need to be somewhere quite far away from the church you currently attend, but it would afford you some respite. You wouldn't need to explain to anyone at all about your "circumstances" or your relationship, it would just give you an opportunity to worship together without the anxiety you're currently suffering.

Only God knows what is in our hearts.

Gillian

I've been scanning through these posts obsessively for the last 3 days hoping to find a green light, or a red light to ease the pit that is in my stomach (yes, I'm slightly dramatic :p ) It really isn't the age gap or what people will think that is unnerving me. I've spent the last 8 years doing everything against the grain. It is that I am facing the big decision in my life. It's the defining moment that a girl dreams of since she was in the Barbie stage. I firmly say that I refuse to divorce, not saying its wrong, but I want to be sure that I'm sure that I'm sure. I struggle to commit to using the same brand of deodorant, let alone the same man for the rest of my life. Now, here's the point...

This man took me in, broken and on the run, and gave me a reason to stop, be secure, and actually enjoy life. I've been in other serious relationships where I would bet my dog that I would marry that person, only for it to crumble into nothing, along with my spirit. The fact that we are better people together than we are apart, is enough to make me say....I"M GETTING MARRIED!!

So, my question to anyone who is unsettled, is he or is he not the man of your dreams? He is an answer to my prayers . (I'm off to do the happy dance right now immediately followed by a chick flick, since he is in Romania for the week) :D

my husband and I said these exact words to and about each other about a year and a half into our relationship.

"we are better people together than we are apart"

I had been in at least 2 relationships previously where I was sure he was the person I was going to marry, but both of them turned out badly. My husband is very, very far from who I would have imagined myself with - in age, personality, looks, temprament, occupation - but I had finally realized what I really, really wanted in a man and in a partner was someone who loved me because I was ME - with all my faults - and he did, and he does. We are 2 years into our marriage, and he still loves me completely and wants nothing more than my happiness - as I want for him.

So, yes, he is still the man of my dreams.