Older Man and even Older Woman

I have noticed that most of the OW/YM relationships here involve Women in their 30's or 40's and men in their 20's. I feel kind of left out. I am 37 and my newly found O/W is going to be 61 on Saturday.

congratulations pa scout...we have a range of qw/ym relations...there are no specifications...

No need to feel left out. I think there's tremendous value in hearing what you have to say about your relationship. After all, my fiance who is turning 28 next month will be 37 one day and at that time, I'll be 55. I am very interested in hearing from your perspective what attracts you to your partner. I think that most of us in our 40's want to know that we'll still be attractive and appreciated when in our 60s.

hubby 24, me 45. you have similiar agegap but at a different point in life, I would love to hear your opinions and outlook as one day my husband will be 37. stick around, we want to know you perceptions and advantages and challenges from being with a woman in her very early 60's.

FYI, some of us, may be getting older but by far are not hanging it up, age in some ways is a state of mind, age also can be a negative if a person looks at it as such, i feel young, i act young and i love an incredibly sweet younger man SO........ tell us your spin on things, maybe there are alot of similiarities. WELCOME.

PS my hubby is my first and LAST younger man and for the record I NEVER in my weirdest or wildest dreams ever thought i would end up here, but by God, i am glad i did, it is about loving the person, but still it is good to have a forum to talk about the challenges and benefits of relationships such as ours.

Originally posted by PAScout
I have noticed that most of the OW/YM relationships here involve Women in their 30's or 40's and men in their 20's. I feel kind of left out. I am 37 and my newly found O/W is going to be 61 on Saturday.

Welcome and I hope your new relationship works out. :)

Well, my most recent relationship was me 58 and he 36... so you are not alone. Welcome and post your situation... do you have any problems? :)

Thanks everyone. We met at work, sort of. I am a bond trader in NYC and she is a retail broker in our Chicago branch. I send out a morning research and market e-mail and people will respond with questions. She has been a long time reader and always sent a cute response. We kept talking and fell in love with each other before we ever laid eyes on each other. I later discovered she is as beautiful as she is witty. I mean. She is just beautiful. Not just beautiful for 61, but beautiful. She is alo very intelligent. I hate bubble-heads and she is no bubble-head.

Originally posted by PAScout
Thanks everyone. We met at work, sort of. I am a bond trader in NYC and she is a retail broker in our Chicago branch. I send out a morning research and market e-mail and people will respond with questions. She has been a long time reader and always sent a cute response. We kept talking and fell in love with each other before we ever laid eyes on each other. I later discovered she is as beautiful as she is witty. I mean. She is just beautiful. Not just beautiful for 61, but beautiful. She is alo very intelligent. I hate bubble-heads and she is no bubble-head.
I am 63 and my y/m is 33 . We fell in love before we ever saw each other too. Its over 2 years now, we live together and plan to marry in the Summer. Welcome to Ageless, and please dont feel out of place. This is a friendly place with age gaps of all kinds :D

Welcome aboard, PAScout.

Thirty seven is not older to me, mainly because I am thirty seven too. While my GF is not as old as yours, she is a good bit older than myself, so I can certainly relate. Like your GF, mine is beautiful. Not for her age, just beautiful.

White Rose and Kittylane, you had both indicated that you'd like to see how things are between a 37 year old ym and his lady, seeing as how your husbands will be thirty seven one day. Well, I am not yet married to my GF, but I can tell you this: When I look at her, I see 'her', not her age, not her external appearance (lovely though it is), and not her height or weight, or wrinkles, or any of that other stuff people get all hung up about. I simply see her. I see all of the wonderful things she is, and I see who she is. Her face immediately takes me to how she makes me feel, and to how I felt when I fell in love with her, and to how I feel being in love with her now. I have no doubt that your husbands feel for you as strongly as I feel for my GF, so by the time they're thirty seven, things should be even more excellent than they are now :D .

PAScout, congradulations. You have fallen in love with a beautiful and fine lady. Her age does not matter at all. Who she is is what matters, and you seem to have found that who she is is fantastic.
Don't let the age throw you. Be realistic, know that its there, but don't make it a stumbling block. Any of us who grow old with our spouse can expect to have to help them more and more as they grow older. I would much rather be younger and stronger and more able bodied when that time comes then to be old an ricketty and be unable to take care of her. Simply my preference.

Besides, I owe her the best that I can give to her as she ages. She does so much for me just by being with me, much more than she knows, although I try to tell her. Ladies do so much for their men, so many things that enable a gent to be the best that he can be. Our ladies inspire us and encourage us when others mock and criticize. Those same others who may mock and criticize our relationships with our 'older' ladies.

Let them mock and criticize. They are not offering anything worthwhile to anyone anyways. And they certainly cannot offer what you have found in your lady.

Keep on rockin',

DanE

dear dan, thank you hon, such a rough day, someone who knew adam and i made disparaging comments in an offhanded way and it still hurts, because i have forgotten the age gap thing, and although i told this "friend" i understand what it may look like from the outside, it was very different from the inside, he went on to say that when he was younger he was sure of life and promised love and never kept it or changed his mind, he actually said that my husband did not know what he wanted.

my husband is the man of the house in my home and knows very much what he wants, its just that the last comment this guy said is that my husband would change his mind as i became older and want a younger woman, it stung and even though i did not believe it, it hurt.

thank you for your encouragement. big huggies.

oh kittylane, so sorry to hear that.
Dont let someones opinion of ALL men..., based on the way HE sees things,, ruin your day. Everyone is different. Usually the cheater likes to think EVERYONE cheats and so on. Just because this guy made promises he didnt keep or said things he didnt mean when he was younger only reflects what HE was like (and probably still might be) Just because he didnt know what he wanted when he was younger, has NOTHING to do with Adam and how he feels or how ANY other young man feels. For him to say Adam would leave you for a younger woman only says what HE probably would do or maybe DID. Adam picked you for YOU and if I were you Id just thank my lucky stars you got ADAM and not some jerk who thinks like this guy who obviously is very shallow and probably has a pretty pitiful relationship if he has one at all. :o

Kitty, my own mother said a similar comment on the day I returned from being with Remi. It felt like a dagger in my heart. So, I know how that feels. But, I think Charo's post said it all. We must find some way to not let those negative comments get to us.

DanE, what can I say? You are a wonderful man and I hope your g/f knows what a gem she has in you. Thanks for the sweet words you said to Kitty and me. :)

You know Kitty, what this person said, don't take it personally...the truth of the matter is, he is right about one thing...your husband will change...not because he wants to, but because he has to in order to grow emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and physically.

You know what...we all know that we change drastically in our 20s, but you know what, if I would've been married at 24 and had a loving and respectful relationship with my husband, my changes would've been that I would appreciate that as I am growing and changing, that I was so well loved so unconditionally that any struggles I might have changing, would've brought me closer to my husband because he would be ever patient, ever watchful, ever curious, ever supportive of those changes.

So yes, he will change, he has to, just to keep up with all his environmental changes happening outside of himself...but I believe when two people are married and supportive of each other, those changes just binds you closer together.

I remember once a talk on marriage in my Sunday School class, and teacher made a comment that has stayed with me always...she said marriage was instituted by God, so that we can learn the blessings of loving one person so well, that in our darkest hour we will bind ourselves to our spouse and love them in all their strengths and weaknesses as God so loves us. In this one relationship, we can become like Him, by learning unity, charity, support, love, nourishment, kindness, respect, SELFLESSNESS.

So you have a choice, don't let what others say become bigger then it is, they do have their opinions and it is their right to have them...but, whether you sweat the big stuff or the small stuff, this is about where learning to use the traits above can bind you to your husband and bring you joy in your hearts and in your home.

Paris

Awesome post Irparis!

Originally posted by Joe
Awesome post Irparis!

I second that!:)

I third that! Awesome post, Irparis! :p

Originally posted by 1love
I second that!:)

And I third that.

DanE

I've had so many lessons on Marriage, Family and Relationships along with my own individual progression in Sunday School, I proably could write a book.

Paris