first time with YM..please help

I've recently become involved in a relationship with a YM who is 19 yrs younger. We get on great but copped a hard time from some of my friends, one of which goes out with a man 22yrs her senior. I haven't met any of his family as i don't feel comfortable with the OW/YM situation yet but his birthday is coming up soon and he wants me to have dinner with his grandparents and his mother who is only a year older than me. Please advise?

Your friend doesn't approve yet is in an age gap relationship too?! That sounds rather hypocritical to me.

I think you should tell your partner that you don't feel completely comfortable with the age gap at present.

Originally posted by darkhalf
We get on great but copped a hard time from some of my friends, one of which goes out with a man 22yrs her senior.

Interesting, whan a man dates a much younger woman that is perfectly acceptable, but when a woman dates a younger man - she is considered weird. How hypocritical :)

Try not to listen what other people say in this case. A younger partner is a symbol of your freedom.

Hi darkhalf and welcome to agelesslove. I say that if you are interested in this YM, then go enjoy his birthday celebration with his family. I'm guessing he has told them about you and your age gap. If not, I'd make sure he's done that before you accept your invitation. No one needs any surprises, especially you while you are trying to sort out your feelings about the age gap.

And btw, your friend is a hypocrite. We can't have double standards in society and that person should really understand that.

whiterose is dead on right, and i dont like name calling but your friend is a hypocrite, maybe you should ask her if she is with her boyfriend because he is 20 years older and if that is why she choose him? gosh, self rightous people are brazen.

got a news flash for you though, the very fact he is inviting you to spend time with his family is saying one thing very clear, He values you, if you see this relationship as one that will endure and grow then his family are not going to mysterially vanish and one day you are going to have to deal with them, so maybe you need to face YOUR fears and go and have a nice time.

I would however ask him if he has explained that there is an age difference so that there are not any surprizes, if they are accepting then it sounds like you are about to meet very open minded people and this reflects on thier son/grandson.

Thank you all for your advice. I will go and have a good time. My YM hasn't told the family how old i am, and they think we're just friends, but i guess they have to find out eventually!

I'm glad there's a forum like this and all you great ladies sharing experiences. It's helped put my mind at ease to know there are a lot of people enjoying OW/YM relationships, and if other people can't deal with it then thats their problem.

Good luck with the family. My first encounter with my boyfriend's family put me in a house with ALL of them for a weekend. I was nervous but smiled and gutted it out.
That was Thanksgiving and by New Years everyone thought it was great. (They were drinking so they were being very vocal about their approval... it was hillarious!)
That was 2 years ago.. he was 18 1/2 and I was 43. Now 20 and 45... madly in love... so no matter what.... stick together and you will get through everything.
We have heard strangers make comments when seeing us together... like "she's paying him".etc.

All I can say about your friends who don't get it... some people never venture outside the box. Congradulations on your bravery and willingness to live your life your way. Have fun with it!