long distance

hi everyone :D heres it is, and i hope i can get some advice from understanding people like you. ive been reading the forums for awhile now and i think now its time to introduce myself

i met B over the internet thru a hobby that we both share, he is 36 and i am 18. we started talking in january of this year and plan to see each other new years. well my mom isnt so understanding, she thinks hes a pervert, bordering on pediphile, etc etc.
i always kept the possibility in my head that he could be a psycho, but after 9 mths, i kinda let it go. we care for each other, i want to see him but i also dont want to sneak behind her back when i see him new years day. by then i will be 19, wont it be my own decision? :confused: i hope this is making sense, thanks for any help you could give me :p

Yes it's your own decision but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be safe. You should at least tell your mother, although she doesn't approve, that you plan on meetig him. Give her your iteninairy(sp?).

Where do you two plan on meeting New Year's? It would be best to meet in a public place. Even though you have been talking to him for a long time he is still really a stranger. Be aware of your surroundings. Bring extra money with you, enough to get out of the venue and back home should you be traveling far from home. If you don't feel safe or comfortable around him, go with your gut instinct and get away. Be safe!

BTW, welcome to Ageless. :)

we'll be meeting at the airport, cuts 6 hours down to 1 1/2 :D ill be very careful, and will be telling her that im going to see him for a few days. has anyone else met someone this way? howd it go?
thanks for replying to my post btw :D

Hello grinsmacker

well you're grown enough to make your own decisions; stop allowing your mother dictate your lovelife& go out there & see this man! before someone else grabs him before you do. I know how you feel i have been there, :) GOOD LUCK ALWAYS ASK GOD FIRST,

Hi grinsmacker (interesting name, btw). And welcome to agelesslove.

It is your life that you have to life. Your mother is having to adjust from being there to support you and help you grow, to now letting you go. It's not an easy time for her. So, be gentle with her and understanding. She loves you and cares about your welfare.

Now, I personally feel that you're doing a good thing by waiting a full year before meeting him in person. I know alot of people feel that those who meet in person, after having met online, should do so early on. But, I tend to disagree. I feel that a lengthy online relationship gives you more time to "listen and learn" about the other person. By now, you should be able to pick up on any red flags or inconsistencies, if there are any. Studies have shown that people who take their time in online relationships tend to have more successful relationships. We have a link on that somewhere here in the LDR forum. I'll see if I can find it and move the thread up so everyone can review it again.

I always encourage everyone to share photos, but more importantly, to view each other on cam so that you can be sure that the same person in the photos is the one you're seeing on cam.

I am glad that you'll be meeting in a public place. That's always best. Despite talking for a while, you do have to be sure at that first meeting that he is the person you've been talking to.

I am one of those people who met someone from online. He and I met in a yahoo chat room and became friends who would chat occasionally about our families, our jobs, small talk. Over time, we became interested in each other. But, due to our age gap, and our distance (5500 miles), I was leery. But, eventually I agreed to consider a relationship with him. And, we have now been together a year as a couple. We met in person last March when I flew to his country to meet him. We spent two weeks together. While there, he proposed to me, and we are getting married as soon as his visa to come here is approved.

Having said all that, I do know that even after he is here, we still have much more work to continue to do on our relationship. Our lives together will finally just begin. And, we know that we have huge adjustments to go through. So, while our LDR will soon end, we know that we have another journey ahead of us to go through. :)

Again, welcome to agelesslove. I hope that you'll find the support and advice that you need here while in your age gap, long-distance relationship.

I couldn't find the particular link I was talking about grinsmacker, but I did start a new thread that contains a link to a wonderful website of information.

NEW THREAD (http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?s=&threadid=13629)

oh thank you all so very much! you are all very helpful, thanks again :D B also says what you say whiterose, that we have come to know each other better through the internet and phone conversations for this year then we would have in person. and I too agree with you both on that, "words" are easier to say on the internet. :)