SamRow
11-21-2004, 02:56 PM
I just wanted to thank everyone that has been here to support me through what I've been dealing with in taking my friendship with Tina to the next level. It still is a shock for me the fact that the first place I looked for an ounce of understanding would turn out to be this forum and that I would get an outpouring of advice.
To update those of you who have looked at and/or replied to my previous couple of posts I recently saw Tina and really got to the bottom of things with her. Despite my nervousness for what the outcome of all this would be, my gut instinct was that something good would come of it.
I told her that I knew she needed time and that I respected how fast of a change it is for her to go from being friends to quite a bit more, especially at this point in her life, but that I needed to know how she really felt. The last time she had told me she was "open to the idea" but that left me wondering how interested she really was. She asked if I needed her to define if "we're together" as of now or next week, or next month and I told her that's not what I needed. What I did need, though, is to know her intent and how much of a desire she has for us seeing each other. That's when it all came out! She told me how she feels safest when she's with me, and that she has a very high level of respect for me...to the degree she does for her father...and told me that I am more of a man to her than anyone else. She said that ideally she really wants to be with me but that this transition is very difficult for her to manifest into physical intimacy, but that she recognizes it's just something she needs to get over.
I asked what her hesitation or reservations are and she said she was scared to lose me as a friend if things didn't work out for some reason. This is where I had to clear things up a little. I told her that perhaps she is confused about how she feels about me, but that I am not. I explained to her that I have known this about her for a long time now and maybe she hasn't. Either way I told her that it's no longer an option for us to be friends....I like her too much and it would be detrimental to myself if I was to try and date other people while maintaining such a deeply rooted interest in her. The bottom line being that if we can't be together, I can't be her friend.
This may have come as a shock to her, but it's a reality for me. I think she may have even been waiting for me to put in that respect. To save you from too many details, we spent the rest of the evening in a much more intimate manner than ever before. I can't yet say that we ARE together, but we are definitely progressing toward that and I feel that we are both very much on the same page toward turning this relationship into the beautiful union I think it can be.
Again, it has been a very pensive, stressful, and slow couple of weeks for me. Thinking about her so much makes the clock almost stop, wondering when I'll see or talk to her next. Having had all of your advice and support really helped me get through a very difficult couple of weeks.
Thanks again!
Sam
To update those of you who have looked at and/or replied to my previous couple of posts I recently saw Tina and really got to the bottom of things with her. Despite my nervousness for what the outcome of all this would be, my gut instinct was that something good would come of it.
I told her that I knew she needed time and that I respected how fast of a change it is for her to go from being friends to quite a bit more, especially at this point in her life, but that I needed to know how she really felt. The last time she had told me she was "open to the idea" but that left me wondering how interested she really was. She asked if I needed her to define if "we're together" as of now or next week, or next month and I told her that's not what I needed. What I did need, though, is to know her intent and how much of a desire she has for us seeing each other. That's when it all came out! She told me how she feels safest when she's with me, and that she has a very high level of respect for me...to the degree she does for her father...and told me that I am more of a man to her than anyone else. She said that ideally she really wants to be with me but that this transition is very difficult for her to manifest into physical intimacy, but that she recognizes it's just something she needs to get over.
I asked what her hesitation or reservations are and she said she was scared to lose me as a friend if things didn't work out for some reason. This is where I had to clear things up a little. I told her that perhaps she is confused about how she feels about me, but that I am not. I explained to her that I have known this about her for a long time now and maybe she hasn't. Either way I told her that it's no longer an option for us to be friends....I like her too much and it would be detrimental to myself if I was to try and date other people while maintaining such a deeply rooted interest in her. The bottom line being that if we can't be together, I can't be her friend.
This may have come as a shock to her, but it's a reality for me. I think she may have even been waiting for me to put in that respect. To save you from too many details, we spent the rest of the evening in a much more intimate manner than ever before. I can't yet say that we ARE together, but we are definitely progressing toward that and I feel that we are both very much on the same page toward turning this relationship into the beautiful union I think it can be.
Again, it has been a very pensive, stressful, and slow couple of weeks for me. Thinking about her so much makes the clock almost stop, wondering when I'll see or talk to her next. Having had all of your advice and support really helped me get through a very difficult couple of weeks.
Thanks again!
Sam