How do you go about telling your family?

I need some advice!

How did you go about telling your family about your OW/YM relationship?
We have been together now for a little under 6 months, and I just do not know
How to tell my mother about our relationship. I am 38 he is 25. His family all knows about our relationship and has been very supportive. On the other hand I do know for a fact that my mother will not be. SHe is the only family that I have left in this world and I do not want to hurt her but I want her to know about the happiness I have found with my younger man. I just do not know how to approach her on the subject. I am hoping that I will get some insight and support on how to accomplish this. Help!

Scared in Ohio!!!!!

To begin with, how would your mother react to you dating anybody at all, regardless of age?

And how about considering conversation with her in advance and prepare yourself with some positive aspects about your relationship with your younger man that will help your mother to understand that you are in a healthy and loving relationship and that she might be happy for you.

Good luck with your situation and perhaps someone else has more to say from experience.

Also, how often do you see her in person? Are you going to spend the holidays with her? Is she emotionally abusive or is it just the intial fear of telling her? She can't bite you... it would be nice if you can have her as a best friend to cheer you on but if she is just too closed minded at first, let it be.

She will come around if she sees that you are proud and not ashamed or defensive. It does take time for some families...

Are you and your boyfriend planning on living together? If you are still just dating, then there is no reason to rush in and tell her if you think she would be upset.... Just my 2 cents.... Good luck!:)

I believe that I told my mother in the same way that I told my son. Just like Charlotte suggested, I began talking very positively about him so that they could see how happy I am with him in my life. I also randomly brought up the issue of age gap relationships to gauge their reaction. Of course with my mom that was easy because my youngest brother has been married for 20 yrs to a woman 12 yrs older. In my case, it really was HOW I was meeting Remi that was of most concern. He and I met online and live in two different countries.

My son was the one I was most worried about, because when I first told him I was interested in Remi, he cracked up laughing. :eek: He did not accept the age gap at all at first. But, I just kept talking about him. I showed him photos and a video I made of our trip together. That helped him see that Remi is definitely real and that he is a very nice man.

I understand how if your mom is your only family member left that you are very worried about your reaction. But, at the end of the day, it is your life you're talking about. And, I am sure she would want you to be happy.

Best wishes to you!

Does your mom not know you are in a relationship at all?

You can tell her you are happily seeing someone but nothing says you have to report his age.

Yep, like Charlotte asked, how would you let her know you had a boyfriend who happened to be the same age or older? Would you automatically report on his age?

If she asks you outright, right up front, you could find a way to be noncommittal or smile and say "when you meet him, you can take a guess" or something like that.

From what I've seen, it's better to let people get to know each other, or at least get used to the idea that you're with someone in the first place. Then they tend to be more accepting because they see there's nothing to be afraid of. There's no reason to give people ammo to judge you with before the fact.

Hi, I'm right there with you. I'm 39 my guy is 25. My mother lives in another city so I don't see her that much. But I have not been able to tell her that I am seeing a younger man. I have been married twice before and so she is a little skeptical about my taste in men anyway.lol. I think she would freak out if I told her. His parents are divorced, he's told his dad about me, but not his mother. His dad is fine with it,but he said his mother might not like it at all. We have only been dating for a month so I think i'll wait and see how everything goes through the holidays and then maybe tell her at the first of the year. I agree with everyone here who says to accentuate the possitive about him first before ever bringing up his age. Then when you tell her if she flips she flips. Whatcha gonna do. I think at thanksgiving i will mention to my mother that I am seeing someone but not go into great detail. Let me know how yours goes.. GoodLuck!!

I obviously went about it all wrong or maybe no matter how I approached it with my family it wouldn't have worked for me.

Then again they don't say they dissaprove only because of the age difference.....it's just a part of it.

I'll tell you my story......just in case it can help you or anyone else for that matter but I really can't offer any advice.

My now husband and I met online (1st strike against us) and after almost a year of getting to know each other we decided he should come visit me.

It was wonderful and we were both very happy.

The only person I am really close to in my family is my brother who lives in Vegas......I talked to him about the relationship as it developed......he was ok with it (he met his 2nd wife online) but he worried that this guy was out to use me or was looking for a free pass to come to the US so he cautioned me many times....which he really didn't need to say because I am very cautious and I don't trust easily.

We made plans to take a trip to visit my brother and his girl....my intention being....to share my happiness with my brother whom I love to death and hopefully have a great time.

My husband is shy and gets extremely quiet around new people....especialy if he feels he is being judged....I knew this but with me and people he feels comfortable with he is just the opposite and actually has a very similar personality,sense of humor etc. to my brother so somehow I thought it would be fine for him and they would get along great.

As it turns out it was quite obvious that my brother was doing the big brother thing (I had never seen that side of him before and didn't expect it at all) and Tony was on trial :(

When your a shy person in an uncomfortable situation like that nervousness can get the best of you.

So between him not talking much and looking nervous about the judgemental questions being directed at him....Tony didn't pass the test.

They didn't like him....and told me I was making a huge mistake....they also told everyone else in the family the same thing and said so many awful things about him that it was unreal to me.

Deep down I knew they were wrong about everything and I did end up marrying him.......but it made me question my own judegement and caused alot of problems in our relationship....as I was suddenly having to choose between the only family I had and the man I loved....plus all the other issues that come along with an agegap relationship.

All of this has basicly severed any family support and ruined what I thought was a pretty good relationship with my brother (his choice)

In the end....I've learned to live with and it doesn't hurt as much anymore.It has actually taught me alot of really valueable lessons that I obviously needed to learn.

On a very positive note....my husbands family in England are all wonderful supportive people....even if they do question our relationship a bit :)