My girlfriend ran away with the company CEO

Hello ageless friends,

"Un long dimanche de fiancailles" is the latest hot French thriller on screen. I called a friend to go to watch the movie together. But I don't have to go to the cinema for a thrilling story - I have my own life for that!

A month ago I decided to make a career move and told the company CEO in an unpleasant meeting that I'm leaving to begin work as an independent consultant. At that time my girlfriend lost her head and began a mad affair with my boss. "Double betrayal" would be a suitable name for this story. I played in ugly, stupid, jealous, comic and violent scenes. My girlfriend even threatened to charge me for sexual harassment...

Now, thinking about the past few weeks, I don't know whether to cry or laugh. Is this really happening to me? The script, in any case, is quite good :(

Anyway, it's time to change the movie. I'm really sick and tired of this confusing situation and want to move on. What would you suggest to my soul that is looking for a change? Any suggestions are welcome, no matter how unconventional or mad they are! There are no limitations. I'm the movie director :D

Maybe move to another country? I spent the last 10 years in 5 different countries so I'm always open to relocation opportunities.

Or take a holiday to ____ (fill in with a place you recommend)? Hmm, I'm thinking about a month or two of skiing in virgin snow...

BTW, if you wish to be a star in my movie, you can send me your vision.

Yavor

Yavor, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that this happened to you. And I am so amazed at your sense of humor about it all.

One thing is certain, if you are the same in person as your posts seem to indicate you are, then you will have no problems finding someone who is more worthy of you.

Thank you White Rose :)

Originally posted by whiterose
Yavor, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that this happened to you. And I am so amazed at your sense of humor about it all.

When nothing else works, humour is my lifesaver. What reads as humour is actually humour mixed with a good dosage of bitter irony. An attempt to drown all confusing negative emotions with something positive and unconventional. It doesn't always work, but keeps me away from feeling self-pity.

Self-pity is something I suffered from too much in the past. I also realised that self-pity is extremely egoistic to others. It really can burden friends and family.


One thing is certain, if you are the same in person as your posts seem to indicate you are, then you will have no problems finding someone who is more worthy of you.
She isn't unworthy. I think she's just lost and doesn't know what she's doing. Time will show this. But I can't really help her now, because the situation is so messed up.

Well, it seems that your gf has started a trend for you--a brand new life! Why not take advantage of that? It could truly be positive in so many ways! Give yourself permission to let go of her and find someone else to go out with. I think you will feel a lot better. We sometimes get lost in thinking about our partner when something lousy happens in a relationship...buit our ONLY power lies in changing ourselves and our circumstances. If that pony bounces you off, get right back up and ride him again!

Great post, legallyblonde.

Yavor: I'm terribly sorry you've been through so much this last month. I was wondering where you were!!! Your positive nature and upbeat character will definitely see you through this journey you're on...

I'm thinking of you. ((((HUGS))))
~phosphorescent

man...if that'd happen to me, i don't know what i would do...my whole world would fall apart.

that's one reason why i'm afraid to go into a relasionship

but it's pretty cool that you're being so upbeat about it.

Thank you for your powerful encouragement, Legally Blonde! Your words matched the longing of my spirit :D

Already in the months before this story I was planning to make changes in my/our life, including career-wise. Back then I really wanted to invest in our relationship and I was ready to make significant changes (me starting my own business, finding a new house, etc).

However I didn't plan that the changes would reach as far as this mad story and the subsequent breakup.

But there is a wise saying "Every evil is for good" and I now try to see the past events in this light.


Well, it seems that your gf has started a trend for you--a brand new life! Why not take advantage of that? It could truly be positive in so many ways! Give yourself permission to let go of her and find someone else to go out with. I think you will feel a lot better. We sometimes get lost in thinking about our partner when something lousy happens in a relationship...buit our ONLY power lies in changing ourselves and our circumstances. If that pony bounces you off, get right back up and ride him again!

The problem I have now is that I still care very much for her and I know that her flirt isn't going to bring her anything. There is still this tiny voice in me saying "Hold on, don't put a final cross on her". You know, sometimes she is such an impulsive child and I understand her very well...

But there's also this cheerful voice "Leave everything and start a new life!"

Now to me this isn't a very easy choice because I still don't know where I want to live and work, there are also various career opportunities that I want to explore.

Argh, choices are so much easier when one is BOUND IN A RELATIONSHIP ... LOL

Two places where I lived happily before I moved here were Southern England and Switzerland. I have good friends there and it may make sense to return. But I also need to admit that I feel charmed by the atmosphere of France (No, French is not my native language, but my 4th). Or I could go to a country where I haven't lived before.

I'm planning to visit my family for Xmas and then take a month to work as a ski teacher. Not to earn money, in fact I'm ready to work for free, I just love doing it - it is great to meet many new people, do some excercise, and share a few drinks in a relaxed setting when the hard day is over :)

Wow Phos, on this photo you look like the magnificent Jacqueline Kennedy, but much more appealing!



Yavor: I'm terribly sorry you've been through so much this last month. I was wondering where you were!!! Your positive nature and upbeat character will definitely see you through this journey you're on...

I'm thinking of you. ((((HUGS))))
~phosphorescent
Hugs-hugs-hugs too!

The problem I have now is that I still care very much for her and I know that her flirt isn't going to bring her anything. There is still this tiny voice in me saying "Hold on, don't put a final cross on her". You know, sometimes she is such an impulsive child and I understand her very well...

i know how you feel. i still care extremely for the ym who stole my heart, even though things have definately not been going my way, as of late. on one hand i secretly wish for the tide to turn in my direction, away from another's. but on the other hand, i still keep looking for someone who is capeable of giving me what i need and deserve.

i have a condo on the top of a mountain (skiing within walking distance) in the Black Hills (technically mountains) of South Dakota, if you may be interested in that as a setting for your movie ;)

Now that's place you should look into Yavor...

Although never been, but as a travel agent its a great place to kick back, ski and plan your next move...go for it...


Paris

Originally posted by Yavor
Wow Phos, on this photo you look like the magnificent Jacqueline Kennedy, but much more appealing!

:o Are you kidding? LOL. *runs and gives uber big hug to Yavor*

You know, the first time I saw your avatar, I thought you looked exactly like my college friend, who was from France, and he absolutely captivated me. Your avatar reminds me of him everytime I see it. As does your positive spirit. :D

~phos

exactly why i bought it. it is TOTALLY AMAZING :D

ok, so can anyone tell me how to get a picture from my computer into here?

Hi!


i know how you feel. i still care extremely for the ym who stole my heart, even though things have definately not been going my way, as of late. on one hand i secretly wish for the tide to turn in my direction, away from another's. but on the other hand, i still keep looking for someone who is capeable of giving me what i need and deserve.

I believe many people are capable, but are often hampered by fears and their own circumstances. I have observed - others and myself - that when somebody worries much about himself (job, money, children, etc.) it is very difficult to give love and affection to somebody else.

I believe the world could look completely different if so many people don't have to fight for their own survival. How can you love when you're fearful about your own existence?


i have a condo on the top of a mountain (skiing within walking distance) in the Black Hills (technically mountains) of South Dakota, if you may be interested in that as a setting for your movie ;)

Wow, thank you :)

I've already made a booking for a ski holiday, but I'm still intrigued! I found some info at http://www.blackhills.com/ but no mention about skiing?!

Hi Kimmy, my dear Collaborator!


Move to Dayton Ohio;) I'll be happy to collaborate on your movie.

Right, I think I should seriously consider planning a trip to the states now! I haven't been outside Europe yet :D

I just got a map of the US to see where South Dakota and Ohio are.

Paris, I read you're a travel agent and would to ask you how much money I need to budget for a 1 month trip to the states. The US dollar is a bit devalued against the Euro now, so it could be a good deal. What is the best season to visit the states? And how does one get around this huge country? Here in Europe everything is within walking distance ;)

Hi Kimmy,

Originally posted by kimmy
Forget the money honey. I'll pick you up at the airport.;)

I must admit I'm really amazed at your directness and persistence :)

I don't know whether this board has got love-surge protection, so I'll send you a PM to continue the talk in a more relaxed setting. I really wonder what kind of movie is this going to turn into :)

yavor I have two words for you - Australian summer - its so special, heat, light, beaches, outback, our dollar against the world currency (you win!!). even all the rock bands tour in summer so they can come and chill out. And believe me your delicious sense of irony will be fully understood - us aussies love taking the piss out of ourselves. bring your cossies and come on over the beer is cold, the weather's warm and the women are HOT. See ya in the sun. BTW excellent movie locations, I'm thinking Hugh Grant type ironic tragedy with v. happy ending mmm.

Originally posted by Yavor
Hi!

Wow, thank you :)

I've already made a booking for a ski holiday, but I'm still intrigued! I found some info at http://www.blackhills.com/ but no mention about skiing?!

try
skiiing (http://www.terrypeak.com)

and
condo (http://www.barefootresort.com)

don't know how much you looked at the black hills site, but there are a lot of really cool other things to do in the area too.

Mt. Rushmore
Devils Tower
Deadwood, an old west town (only complete town on the national register of historic places)

you can travel long distances by train, just are limited to the areas it reaches. more stops in the east, fewer in the west. then there is always busses, planes, and renting a car. we really have a good highway system.

Well, it seems like you have many "diversions" now to get your mind off that other woman. I just want to add that I did like your comment "that everything in Europe is walking distance!" That is why so many of you can speak more than one language....and that whole senario is what I find fascinating. The fact that you can travel only hundreds of miles and be in another country boggles my mind. You are right that the USA is immense.... and that is why most Americans have cars and insisit that driving is a RIGHT and not a privilege! We drive everywhere and FAR too without even batting an eyelash! Our sense of "space" is unique from our European brethren too, although I think the Aussies may have the same outlook. And even though we do speak the same languages, the dialect, colloqualisms and traditions often look like we live in different countries as one travels across the states. :D

And as a sidenote, now with the "united states of Europe" which is really called the European Union, your countries will be a force to be reckoned with, in my opinion. I have been studying about it since I am thinking of moving over that way to try to teach....well moreso toward the Balkans and even though they are not part of that group yet, I am still fascinated and in awe of that whole idea. May I ask what you thought of its constituition? TO me it is an exciting time to be European!

Have a good day.
Linda

BTW excellent movie locations, I'm thinking Hugh Grant type ironic tragedy with v. happy ending mmm.
Oh, I loved that :)

Originally posted by kimmy
Hey freespirit -- I want to come to Australia!

Kimmy, maybe instead of me coming to the US we should meet down under? :D


And as freespirit so accurately noted Yavor, you have a delicious sense of irony, which can be put to good use.

Humour is known to improve digestion ***LOL*** (I just came back from a newly opened French restaurant where I went with a colleague to test the food and the staff)


Often we select a line of work because we think it'll be financially rewarding or a family member pushes us toward it, when in fact it is not our calling or our passion. It is a great and wonderful thing when we question our choice of disatisfying work.

I chose engineering because I was fascinated by all that it seem to embody to me - system, structure, logic, perfection. But this enchantment began to fade away about 2 years ago.

It happened when I began to realise, that our civilisation actually has no technical problems to solve. That all our problems of today lie in our minds and spirits.



It's taken me many years to realize this about myself. When I worked for a few weeks at my corporate job, we would hustle papers here and there and much of it was bothersome work (for everyone) that was put into files that no one would ever see again. Mounds and mounds of files that got moldy in another building. It was disgusting.

Kimmy, The Archivist - I can hardly imagine that!


I thought -- I don't want to merely work with papers -- I want to do meaningful work that benefits people, and has real time results, that makes me feel alive and positively contributes something to someone.

I fully support you!


Yavor -- I think that is where you are at right now. It shows great intelligence that you are questioning your life's work.

Kimmy is trying to melt my heart with compliments - I like that ;-)


Things will work out for you Yavor. It is good you are not keeping yourself in a box and taking a defeatest attitude. Keep that spirit sweetie -- it will do you well. Here is a quote I found the other day that had inspired me:

"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily" - Napolean Bonaparte

You are a very special man Yavor, and I have no doubt that God can -- and will --use your talents and abilities.

kimmy
xxxx*French Kiss*xxxxxxxx
ooooooooooooooooooooo;)


Now Kimmy is turning my already molten heart into hot plasma ;-)

Hi Linda!

Originally posted by suicideblonde
Well, it seems like you have many "diversions" now to get your mind off that other woman. I just want to add that I did like your comment "that everything in Europe is walking distance!" That is why so many of you can speak more than one language....and that whole senario is what I find fascinating. The fact that you can travel only hundreds of miles and be in another country boggles my mind.

Hundreds of miles? Well, I have a house in Germany and work in France and I commute 35km (about 20 miles). About 35min to drive.

Lixumbourg is also just nearby - 40km away.


And as a sidenote, now with the "united states of Europe" which is really called the European Union, your countries will be a force to be reckoned with, in my opinion. I have been studying about it since I am thinking of moving over that way to try to teach....well moreso toward the Balkans and even though they are not part of that group yet, I am still fascinated and in awe of that whole idea. May I ask what you thought of its constituition? TO me it is an exciting time to be European!

Wow, I'm amazed at your enthusiasm! You should get elected into the EU parliament! I will vote for you!

There are still some EU-sceptics and bureaucracy to streamline, but you're right - the European Union is a great success in cooperation between coutries that have various cultures, traditions and ideas. I know of no other example of international cooperation on the same scale.

Looking to teach in the Balkans? I could recommend you the American high school in Northern Greece ( http://www.pinewood.gr ) where I graduated in 1998. It is an interesting place and not very far from Bulgaria and Macedonia. Although the school is American, I think most of the students come from Greece and the neighbouring countries. I had classmates from Greece, Turkey, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Albania, Yugoslavia and even Russia. If you're interested send me a message!


Have a good day.
Linda

You too!

for the information! I did write your former school using their contact page, bUT it would not send! It said it was undeliverable, so I need to look into another way to get to it! SO you have friends from all over going there.....WOW..... what an experience. I looked at the curriculum and WOWOWOW again! If only our REAL AMERICAN schools would be so dedicated to learning and have such a demanding curriculum along with a mandated homework policy, we would not be in the sinking ship we are in now. Our best and brightest need more than what we are giving them, esp. in regards to showing that we value education. I have had enough foreign exchange students to know that they DO VALUE education hence they take it much seriously. I know there is an Am. school in Skopje, Macedoni as well.... I need to get information about that institution too.

And yes smarty pants, I know one can travel just a few miles and be in another country as well! I was thinking of going ACROSS one and going straight into another! :D

Thanks again... and DO expect a pm!

Linda