Made a big mistake!

Well its been awhile since i posted last.Ive only posted a couple of times so for those that dont remember what happened i'll recap it for you.My ex and i split up because she was to controlling i couldnt go anywhere or do anything i wanted to do.I couldnt even go visit family in florida.
I worked 60 to 70 hour weeks so she could stay at home with her son that is handicaped.She is 52 i am 33.Anyway a job came along that i could not pass up and since i knew we were having alot of problems this was my chance to walk away and say goodbye, since she was already talking to an older guy her age at work and was always saying that she need to be with some one her own age.
Well i toke the job with ford doing cutom paint for their new prototype cars and things were great for awhile.Moved to new york for this job and then transferred to florida some months after to be closer to family.Well the whole time i was talking to my ex over the phone.I do still love this woman and did want make things work after 8 years of being together it was hard not being there even though i knew it was hard on me and trying to work all the time and not having time to myself but i did it for her because i loved her that much.
Any way working for ford was cool for awhile but didnt work out because i had way to many problems with them trying to change my work all the time.I was told i had full control of my projects but boy was ford trying to get me to change up mu style to suit there taste.
Any way i left ford and started my own buisness agian.
So now here is where i made another big mistake.Money was short and the work was not coming in.And in all this im still talking to the ex and she is wanting to get back together and one thing led to another and now im back in texas.
This is where it gets screwed up(someone get a gun and shoot me please)I came back to her and things were great the make up sex and all.So now we are back together and this is good since i do still love her but then she starts in with the same things we split up over.She wants to quit her job agian and stay at home.Which means i would have to go back to working 60 to 70 hour weeks agian.I thought long and hard over what to do.Well since alot of my things are still in boxs and i havent fully unpacked from 2 months ago.I started taking things to a local storage.I have everything out but my computer and personal stuff.When she comes home from work im going to tell her that i am leaving agian.I hate to do it like this and if i am wrong i doing this i hope god forgives me.I just cant do this anymore.What was i thinking when i came back.I guess the age old saying that love is blind is true because i didnt see this coming.On the phone she said she would change and things would be different.Well that didnt happen.I guess it wasnt ment to be for me to have someone to love.I am so tired from traveling and unpaking and working my *** off to ake things work.
Oh man did that sound like a pity trip.Sorry im just felling like crap from all this up and down road i am traveling in life.Its starting to get to me.This means i get to spend the holidays by myself this will be a first in many years.Well ive got to run and get some things done today.Sorry for sounding so down but like they say it could be worse.Happy holidays to all!

Dang Txmale! You've ridden a roller coaster this last couple months now, haven't you? I remember you well and am glad you came back... but also very sorry things didn't work out on the second attempt with your OW.

I'm sending you out a huge cyber hug ((((((((((((txmale)))))))))))) and I honestly hope things start looking up for you.

~phosphorescent

Sorry you are in this predicament. I guess her telling you that she would change was just to get you to come back. And why on earth won't she work? The fact that she has a son to provide for, should be more reason to do so. If he's handicapped, I'm sure there are state programs that she can apply to where they'll send someone to the house to care for her son. I guess I don't understand why any woman would assume that it's ok for her significant other to work their *ss off to support her and her son.

Big hugs to you. Hang in there. Things will get better.

This relationship has not been easy for you, but you can't beat yourself up over it. People have done weirder things in the name of love. However the fact that you realized that as long as you were with her you couldn't live your life the way you wanted is admirable. And the fact htat you tried love again after being hurt is remarkable. But now it seems that you know. You seemed convinced this time that you will not go back. You have learned from your mistakes and made the best possible choice for you. Live your life to the fullest!!!!

MORE BIG HUGS TO YA!!!

Welcome back... I am sorry for the reason that you had to post, but sometimes life just throws those curves to us.

Is her wanting to stay home and you work double the only reason that you are leaving, or were there other things that she agreed to and it did not pan out? Does she know that it was this or the "highway"?

Don't feel like God will be angry with you. My idea of God, is that our good and happiness is never against God's plans. And why would anyone, who loves their partner, would want them working all the time, is beyond me. But didn't she not like you being gone a lot, or do I have you mixed up with someone else?

Any rate, do what you know in your gut that you need to do. That inner knowing rarely leads us astray. Good luck to you.

Thanks to all that replied to my post. Ive had alot of time to think about what i am going to do since ive decided to leave.I sat down and tried to talk to my girlfriend and i think she never realized that i do alot for her and i do work
longer hours than the average person.Thats because ive always worked those kind of hours.I was always working and it did take a toll on our relationship because of it. even before she decided she didnt want to work the first time.It has a lot to do with her family too.Her sisters do not work their husbands take care of them and they stay at home and i think she wants to be like them.But i have told her that i dont make the kind of money they do.I think she just wants better things for her and her son and sometimes i just cant do it.Im not rich but im not poor either.I live a comfortable life but i think she wants more than that sometimes.
I bought her a car three years ago and now she wants i new one because she doesnt like her car anymore.This car was brand new when i bought it.It now only has 15,000 miles on it.Her job is five minutes from the house.It still drives like a new car.I got this car in 2002 off the showroom floor for about
19,000.Now she doesnt want it,i told her she would have to do all the work trading it in to get a new becuse i didnt want anything to do with it .Why take back a car that is in good shape to get an suv that going to cost 38,000 for is beyond me.I couldnt pay for something like that for myself but she wants me to help her pay for it.I cant even get a new truck for my buisness.I drive a 97 isuzu hombre for work and it runs fine but i would like to have a new one.At least i would be using it for something that makes money and not for something to show off in.
I have no idea what to do.If she wants that kind of lifestyle i guess she will have to find someone that is rich because im just a humble painter making enough money to be happy the way things are.The way things are going im not sure if i should take a vacation anytime soon.I had one planned but now thats gone because of the work keeps on coming in and i guess i have to find another place to go.
I guess ill rent a house for now and try to buy one later.I hope i can do it on my own i guess time will tell.I was so looking forward to a vacation so i could relax some buts that gone too.
Im thinkig of going back to florida since there was alot more work ther but i kind of like dallas.But with no family here its kind of hard.Well this post is kind of getting long so ill get to the piont.She wants better things that i cant get her and im leaving because she said she would change and didnt.Oh and she still for some reason thinks that because most of the people that i paint for are woman that i am sleeping with them.
Im not that goog looking LOL.After working all day and getting all sweaty.I dont think that would turn a woman on.
Anyway she just cant change and im done trying so damn hard to keep this going.
Maybe ill find someone that will love a hard working down to earth guy like myself for who i am and not for what they could make me into or get me to do for them.Like john lennon once said "All you need is love"Well thank for the support and hope to talk to you people soon.Hope everyone had a good thanksgiving.

Well, I think you are right about the car. Definitely don't give her a dime for that or put your name on any papers. She does sound like she is only interested in your money. Too bad.
Take care...
Barbara