Important Tips to having a Long-Term Relationships

Ok I thought this may be a good thing to see how us long termers keep them long term. We know it's not easy and you do have to work at it.... Do we all do it the same ? or are we all different? I think we are all different....

In my relationship I think the biggest thing that keeps us together is our honesty and our commitment......

How about you?

Well - the first thing I would say is LAUGHTER! My husband would absolutely agree on this. We have said many times that laughter and a sense of humor is what keeps us happy together.

Beyond that - commitment (commitment to the marriage as well as to each other), communication (which we sometimes still need work on - both of us), and a general wanting the other person to be happy. Both of us put each other first --- always.

Oooh! Oooh! I forgot one. I told my best friend this when I was matron of honor in her wedding.

MAKE A CHOICE to love this person every single day. Every day when you wake up, decide that you are going to continue loving this person. It sounds simplistic, but I think that a lot of people just expect to love when they feel like it and they think that love will always feel like it did at the beginning --- real love, and especially long-lasting love is a CHOICE.

My husband just called me to say that he was amazed and very, very happy that we just spent 5 days together, 24 hours a day, many of them with my family, and we never got on each others' nerves. He said that he was sadder than he has ever been to leave me when he realized that (he works in Chicago, but we live in San Francisco). This is after 2 years of marriage -- well, it will be 2 years tomorrow! :-)

If the relationship is basically good and full of love to begin with, then these are some things which I think which help keep two people in love:

Firstly, engage in `bonding' activities which keep the two of you close. Sometimes you have to make a conscious effort and think up some way to remain bonded....such as taking up a mutually enjoyable hobby or activity of some sort. Maybe have a child together? I'm not sure about that one but women have told me it can be the greatest bonding experience of all (but I've also heard the opposite so I'm not sure:)

Also, I think couples must strive for a good life together, to the best of their capacity. If you're struggling or, worse, one of you is struggling and the other is cruising along without pulling their weight, then this creates unbearable tension. You both need to pull your weight and do your best to create the life you want together. You need to have a goal, or a picture of the life you want as a couple. This creates meaning in everything you each do, and also to the relationship.

Just a few thoughts!

I think ours is that we are best friends. I don't need to confide in anyone else and neither does he. We don't want time away nor separate lives..... we WANT to be together....always. This is what works for us.

These are great!!! I soo agree with you all....

Just like madbess..another one for me and my husband is we laugh and laugh and laugh together.....We find humor in so many things... maybe no one else would but together we do and I love that......