Dress for the times, or dress for the age?

I recently went with a group of gals Christmas shopping. It's something we've been doing for years and we not only shop for our loved ones, but for ourselves as well.

Well we were at one of the malls in the area, and walked into this one particular clothing shop that caters mostly to younger girls. They've got a lot of cute things in there, and I've bought stuff for myself from them on several occasions.

I was looking at this one top, really cute style, with a scoop neckline, short cape sleeves, and a close tailored fit. One of the girls in our group saw me looking it over and asked if I was thinking of getting it for my daughter, who will soon be 17, and I said 'No, not really. I was considering it for myself.'

Well she looked rather stunned over it, and said 'You're in your 40's! You're not supposed to wear stuff like that.' And she was serious.

Now I don't know about any of you, but I've always dressed the way I wanted, in styles I like and that I feel suit me, regardless of the age group most likely to buy and wear them. I like tight jeans, and close fitting tops. My skirts are always a couple inches above the knee and not below. Although I do have a couple minis I wear on occasion. I might be a mom and a grandmom of 2 little ones, but I sure in hell am not about to dress like my grandma did, in big baggie housedresses!! :eek:

When my friend exclaimed over that top, the rest of us laughed about it, since the majority of us do buy a similiar style for ourselves, but it got me to thinking about it all. Obviously there are those certain people that think there is a specific dress code for 40 years and up. That after we reach that age, we become.. well, something not quite human anymore. That there is this idea of what a 40 or 50 year old should look like and when we don't fit that preconceived image, then something must be wrong.

Anyway, I like my baggy sweatshirts, and sweatpants too, but only for around the house. But I'm sure not going to wear that when I go out.....

I'm wondering how the rest of you gals feel about this.

I say wear what you want, and enjoy yourself. Life's too short to get caught up in pointless societal norms.

Of course I would say that, being in an age-gap relationship with a man 15 years younger than myself. :p

But seriously... I say wear whatever you want as long as it makes you feel great, won't land you in jail, and doesn't frighten small children. ;)

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

:cool:

Scarlet... yes, but have you seen the women who wear those hats? Plus, a simple poem has now become BIG BUSINESS for many but the poet!

AND... It is funny that you brought this up Lynn, (but is has been discussed before a long time ago) as yesterday I got a top I ordered from a catalogue, but after putting it on, I wondered, "Am I too old for this?" I agree to wear what you want... but with a caveat... within reason. I mean a 50+ year old trying to look like Brittany Spears would be abit ridiculous, as part of her "look" is her youth. Oprah had an article last year on what women over 50 should not wear like catsuits and mini-skirts. Well I am tall, and even though I don't have catsuits, I love "jumpsuits" and I look good in them, so why not? I do feel uncomfortable in mini's, but have no problem with above the knee a few inches. It all depends on body and mindset, I think.

Most of us here will not dress like our mother's did.... and if fact we have better chances of not doing, so since we are not at the whim of every designer who DECIDES for us what women should wear. BUT...What I have noticed is that hair style and clothes are what ages a woman the most. It is funny, as on a lark, I once went on Yahoo personals to see what other women my age looked like, and to be honest, most looked SOOO MUCH OLDER due to the clothes and the hair! The ones who caught my eye, were the ones who dressed up to date, esp with current hairstyles that really flattered their face NOW and not 25 years ago! I think one reason why many of us attract younger men is because not only our outlook in our heads, but our outlook on how we dress.

It is funny, but in class yesterday we were discussing a chapter from a book entitled "The Teacher" and it came up that most teachers seem to dress alike, esp. elementary school ones. A male student commented that he can pick them out in a group any time, and I concurred that when I went to a conference in Miami and didn't quite know where the conference room was , all I had to do was to FIND women who looked like that...and I did! After we all laughed, I did, however remind him that I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT, and he countered "Yes, and thank God!" So the point I am trying to make, is that certain groups of people can get to a point where he/she may think he/she HAS to dress a certain way, hence they become pigeon-holed/stereotyped, and it is up to people like us to BREAK that way of thinking! :D

This is a great subject!

One of my best friends who is the same age I am (42) is a perfect size 6 and has a really cute, updated hairstyle. She DOES dress like Britney Spears and she looks great! She had a boob job, so she's "perky" in her tops, and she has a nice, firm butt so low rise jeans look good on her too. Dontcha HATE people like that? :D Anyway, because I know her personality, which is fun, lively, vivacious, flirty, and spontaneous, I can't imagine her dressing any other way. She'd look utterly ridiculous in a business suit! That's just not who she is.

I'm similar to her in personality, but I can't dress like her because I don't have the body. Like others said, I have to dress for my body type. But if I DID have her body, I'd be dressing just like her. I don't think I'd look ridiculous, as long as I felt completely comfortable in what I was wearing. I wouldn't be dressing to impress anyone or gain attention, I'd be dressing the way I like to look.

So, more power to those who can dress "young"...I say, go for it! :)

I don't give a flying hoot how women my age are supposed to dress, actually.

My supervisor is just turning 41 and seems to be having a problem with it, since she keeps tossing in my face how I'm "too old" for this or that.

She's one of those that start out with, "well, not to be mean but".
I'm too old to have my hair as long as I have it, I'm too old for funky jewelry, I'm too old for flared jeans, etc. She, of course has super short spiked hair, fringed suede coats, low waist, big belted pants, etc. Hate to tell her, there isn't a whole lot of difference between 41 and 49.

Poo. Just push the ignore button.

I certainly don't dress like a teeny type, but I do wear flared jeans with nice sweaters, I do like funky jewelry sometimes, and I don't intend to go get the little old lady hairdo anytime soon.

I also love offbeat purses, I can be wearing boring black slacks and a boring sweater, but wear a cute bracelet and carry a beaded purse of some kind, and feel a little cool.

Personally, I loved the little old lady I saw downtown the other day, wearing a black and silver beaded jacket, black silky pants, with a black hat, with a silver band, and a silver flower on the band, and black tennies trimmed with silver. She had shoulder length wavy silver hair, and looked like she totally enjoyed life.

I tend to take my daughter's advice, quite often I'll say to her "Do I look like mutton dressed as lamb in this?" and she'll give me her honest opinion.
I would hate to look like I was trying to pretend I'm 18, but at the same time, I still have much the same figure I had then, so why not show it off?
I won't wear crop tops, because I hate my stomach, and my skirts have gotten slightly longer over the years, but apart from that, I wear what I like, and what I think will suit me.:)

@ MrsHedgeHog.... I agree with you that there are certain clothing that are exclusively for teens. Some of that crap I don't even want my daughter to wear, let alone me. I won't wear trash. Or even some of the stuff that's not crap, but way too youngish. No crop tops for me, although I still have a flat abdomen and no scarring. I don't mind maybe an inch of flesh showing during summer. And I do wear low rise jeans.

Nessa, I think that dressing for your size and not your age is a good rule for even the younger set. All too often I see these young heavy teen girls who would be better off wearing something less skin revealing. They wouldn't draw attention to their being big quite so much. Well, this is getting kind of off-topic....

I've never heard that poem before either. It's so cute.

I think for me it would be a mixture of both....dressing in style and keeping up with the times, but also keeping in mind my age.

Just because they make the styles in XL or carry the same styles in the "Women's" department doesn't mean its meant for the larger or older women. I have the same take on when they have the young teens styles in the children's department.

I dress with style, neatness, and what makes me "feel" comfortable, not necessarily what makes me "look" comfortable. Dressing with confidence and being secure about ones self is a true reflection of our individuality.

Since my younger age I've always dressed "leave something for the imagination" style, not the come hither big boy and see all that I got style.

I guess I'm saying I dress appropriate for my age with a certain individuality. And, I always always dress appropriate for the particular activity of the day.

Just my thoughts.......

Sora

There's a woman in my town... no idea who she is, but I see her walking around every so often... she's probably in her mid-to-late 40's or early 50's and she has long, luxurious, silvery-white hair that flows past her shoulders in waves. She always dresses very trendy and quite frankly, she looks great! I respect her for not giving in to the unspoken rule that women over 40 should cut and dye their hair to cover the grey. She sure didn't cover up her grey hairs -- and it looks beautiful, like silky moonbeams.

Someday I'm going to stop the car when I see her on the sidewalk, run up to her and say, "Just wanted to tell you -- you look absolutely fabulous!" :D

I was looking at this one top, really cute style, with a scoop neckline, short cape sleeves, and a close tailored fit. One of the girls in our group saw me looking it over and asked if I was thinking of getting it for my daughter, who will soon be 17, and I said 'No, not really. I was considering it for myself.'

Well she looked rather stunned over it, and said 'You're in your 40's! You're not supposed to wear stuff like that.' And she was serious.

Did anyone ever tell Tina Turner she shouldn't be wearing leather mini's and heels and to "dress her age?" I think not. I wear what fits, what looks good and what I feel comfortable in. I don't look 22 anymore so therefore, I don't wear low rise jeans or crop tops. Then again, when I did have the figure, I would never have wore them anyways. While I am always in the gym (partly because of my job) and partly because I like it, I still show the wear and tear of two babies and c-sections. My boyfriend finds me sexy and he is the one whose opinion matters. One of the sexiest things about how a woman dresses is the aura she has about her. Dress what makes YOU happy and feels good. I only hope to look HALF as good as Tina does at her age!

LOL! Last time I looked in the "juniors" section of the store, it was to find one of those micro-mini plaid skirts to dress as a "Lolita" for Halloween this year. (Trying to be ironic, yes.)

http://groups.msn.com/AgelessLoveUnofficalMemberPhotoAlbum/kristinampjeremy.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=3352

Otherwise, I don't like much of what I see there. But I have wandered over there on occasion to find something a little more sexy and flirty. It seems everything in the women's section has skirts below the knees (or owrse - AT the knees) and "practical" necklines, unless its formal wear. I want to look a little sexy sometimes, too, you know!

I also agree that you should dress your weight, not necessarily your age. Well put, Nessa!

Originally posted by kimmy
-- I'm pretty happy with my clothing choice, but am damn perplexed about what to do with my long hair. Trouble is, my hairdresser refuses to cut it off - she is my enabler!

only thing i have to say about your hair, is to heck with the "rules." do what you want with it, but if you decide to cut it, maybe donating it to Locks of Love would change her mind. ;)

in my opion, it is the size and shape that matters more than the actual age. as long as you aren't wearing the super sl utty, more than skin tight, teeny bopper stuff (which yes, i don't want to see on my daugher either).

i love Tina Turner, for LOTs of reasons, and she definately was able to pull of her look. she doesn't really dress like that for every day, just a more subdued sexy. and you have to remember her heyday was in the late 70's and 80's. so everyone was over the top :cool:

anyone ever watch "What Not to Wear" on TLC? they are all about dressing for your personality and the clothes making the most of your body style. they are always saying, "it isn't what size you wear, but how you look in what you are wearing."

they do have a few "rules," but they taylor them to the individual. and most are geared towords body style, not age. no one ever ends up looking like a dowdy grandma. i think the most used adjectives on the show are hot and sexy :cool:

I think, personally, you should dress in a way that is suitable for you.

Having said that I'd like to add that doesn't mean dressing in a "age appropiate" way or whatever.

If there is a style or color or what ever that suits your mood, figure, tastes etc then you will look good and should wear it.

Confidence is the key to wearing any style of clothing, and if you feel you look good (big butted moms of friends aside) then your confidence will carry you through.

There are so many fashions out there that look stupid and ugly, and the only reason they were created was because they weren't what was there before!

For myself and my daughter we prefer classic cuts and timeless styles, we both have broad shoulders and so don't need shoulder padding and narrow waists. She's high wasited so prefers jeans and pants that ride just above her hips.

I definitely, absolutely, dress for what looks good on ME and it has no connection with age. :P I am a petite size 0-4 depending, and I often shop in the Juniors section. (I agree with the ladies here who say that some of the stuff there is really inappropriate for *anyone* - I like things stylish, classy, and well-fitting.)

And I had already decided years ago that when I started getting gray hair, I wouldn't cover it. I have a little now, finally, and I really like it! I'm looking forward to seeing how my new look emerges more and more over time, actually. I think flowing silver hair is beautiful. Plus, when it's all gone pale...I'll bet it takes electric purple dye rather well! ;)

Originally posted by ScarletHawke
There's a woman in my town... no idea who she is, but I see her walking around every so often... she's probably in her mid-to-late 40's or early 50's and she has long, luxurious, silvery-white hair that flows past her shoulders in waves. She always dresses very trendy and quite frankly, she looks great! I respect her for not giving in to the unspoken rule that women over 40 should cut and dye their hair to cover the grey. She sure didn't cover up her grey hairs -- and it looks beautiful, like silky moonbeams.

Someday I'm going to stop the car when I see her on the sidewalk, run up to her and say, "Just wanted to tell you -- you look absolutely fabulous!" :D


My mom is like that. Long silver hair to her waist, beautiful. Doesn't dress 'sexy' per se, but trendy in a hip, off-beat way. Beachy trendy hippy style.

I had a great grandmother with long grey hair when I was a little kid. Use to wear her hair in a braid to her butt.

I'm never cutting my hair off. I cut it a few years ago when it was near my waist, and it won't quite grow back. It's about half way down my back.