Intimidating

Hi I have been a member for a shortwhile and have read probably the most informative and enteratining things about relationships, sex, men and women on these discussion boards.

But my feeling is that this board seems to be very insular and intimidating, the reasons for my saying so is as below

1. Most of the veteran members seems to treat newer members (women veteran-male new comers) as pests that need to be shooed away-only ones that last are allowed to stick around.

2. There is a very strong bias towards (how shall I put it mildly) well I cant so Iam saying it-Whites I have not seen too many asian,black or others over here (I could be 100% wrong but thats what I feel)

3. There seems to be a burning desire among members to solve others problems (even if there are none- each time I wrote a post I was asked by more than one person to spell out what my specific problem was-What if I didnt have any and was just trying to provoke a few questions).

Iam sure my post would either be moderated or blasted out by all the veterans but hey I feel it I say it.

Hi I have been a member for a shortwhile and have read probably the most informative and enteratining things about relationships, sex, men and women on these discussion boards.

But my feeling is that this board seems to be very insular and intimidating, the reasons for my saying so is as below

1. Most of the veteran members seems to treat newer members (women veteran-male new comers) as pests that need to be shooed away-only ones that last are allowed to stick around.

2. There is a very strong bias towards (how shall I put it mildly) well I cant so Iam saying it-Whites I have not seen too many asian,black or others over here (I could be 100% wrong but thats what I feel)

3. There seems to be a burning desire among members to solve others problems (even if there are none- each time I wrote a post I was asked by more than one person to spell out what my specific problem was-What if I didnt have any and was just trying to provoke a few questions).

Iam sure my post would either be moderated or blasted out by all the veterans but hey I feel it I say it.

Does this belong in Sexually Speaking?

what Nessa said.

and yeah, looks like this is a thread for chit-chat.

Originally posted by sudzz

1. Most of the veteran members seems to treat newer members (women veteran-male new comers) as pests that need to be shooed away-only ones that last are allowed to stick around.


Well, there are an awfully high percentage of new male members (no pun intended) who seem to view this board as merely a "hunting ground" for picking up older women, or just randomly hitting on people, often in a very sleazy and generally not nice way. The reason many of the women here at ageless seem to ignore new male members is that they are often tarred with the same brush as the "scumpuppies" (as they were named). These guys are usually 16 - 18 y/o guys who PM random women with dodgy come-ons, and dont usually bother to post except for something like "17/m/alabama looking for an older woman to learn new tricks from" or some such drivel.

Guys need to earn respect here, and this is done by hanging around and being genuine. Dont just post in sexually speaking, for example. Share things about yourself. Dont just make sleazy comments and ask questions like "who takes it up the ***" for example.


2. There is a very strong bias towards (how shall I put it mildly) well I cant so Iam saying it-Whites I have not seen too many asian,black or others over here (I could be 100% wrong but thats what I feel)


I dont see this.
We cant control who comes to the board, and its pretty hard to see someones skin colour from thier posts (unless they have pics).
I dont see that it makes a difference anyway, this board isnt about racism issues.


3. There seems to be a burning desire among members to solve others problems (even if there are none- each time I wrote a post I was asked by more than one person to spell out what my specific problem was-What if I didnt have any and was just trying to provoke a few questions).


This is a support site. This is what we do. The quizzes and harmless fun are really just gaps in between solving peoples problems.


Iam sure my post would either be moderated or blasted out by all the veterans but hey I feel it I say it.

Does this break any site rules? no. so why would it be moderated?? this isnt a flippin' facsist regime. It annoys me that people assume mods are gonna edit posts to take out stuff that they just dont like. Thats not what moderation is about.

Any questions? :cool:

Aren't there 2 of these threads?

hi All. ok I've merged these 2 threads, but I can't remove the double posts, since they both bagan threads, and deleting them would delete the whole thread. I've also moved it here to chitchat, because so far, I don't see any need for this to be in sexually speaking, and I'm sure more members will post replies here in chitchat:)

i agree with nessa completely

and streff too

point #1. i have seen times when the teasing has gotten heavy when someone new (younger guys seem to do it most) comes and starts being inappropriate. but it is really just a light way of letting them know that garbage isn't going to be taken here.

point #2. i have seen posts on threads pondering this very question. but it more like, "i wonder if age gap is less common among other races" and "i wonder how we could get more diversity in our ranks"

point #3. DUH
did you read the home page before you joined? if you want to just debate an issue, maybe you should be posting it in the Discussion, Debate and Differing Views section.

i have really enjoyed the short while i have been keeping company with the wonderfull people here. they have always made me feel so welcome.

i have never liked going into chat rooms, because it always seemed everyone knew each other and were wrapped up in their own conversations, never talking to someone new. but the first time i went to the one here, everyone was SO friendly. it was AWESOME.

it has always buged me when people treat other people on the internet like there isn't a real person on the other end, not caring how they treat them. and in my experience, that is just NOT how it is around here.

I myself NEVER felt intimidated. I read (ONLY READ) posts for months before joining, but not out of fear. I felt I had nothing to add.

As for diversity, I am basically ... "white", and you would call my YM "Latino."

If anyone else here has an inter-racial thing going on and wants to talk, I am here.

Anyone who needs to understand Latino men better, I have years of experience and am happy to chat.

Thanks!

Originally posted by goingon40
As for diversity, I am basically ... "white", and you would call my YM "Latino."

If anyone else here has an inter-racial thing going on and wants to talk, I am here.

My lady and I are in the same thing. :)

Anyone who needs to understand Latino men better, I have years of experience and am happy to chat.

Thanks!

UH. . . Whaaaa. . . ! :D

Originally posted by sudzz
1. Most of the veteran members seems to treat newer members (women veteran-male new comers) as pests that need to be shooed away-only ones that last are allowed to stick around.

I have not seen evidence of this unless the poster has been offensive like some of the YM who have come to the board JUST to try and pick up OW. This board was quite warm and friendly when I joined and I think it still is.

2. There is a very strong bias towards (how shall I put it mildly) well I cant so Iam saying it-Whites I have not seen too many asian,black or others over here (I could be 100% wrong but thats what I feel)

Yes, I think you ARE 100% wrong on this point. In the first place, I don't think any of the members have ever asked a new member their race, culture, religion when they join. And I don't care about those things. We are all people . . . human beings . . . here to support each other and share with each other. For the record, I am "white" and my b/f is 100% Mexican American. No problem there.

3. There seems to be a burning desire among members to solve others problems (even if there are none- each time I wrote a post I was asked by more than one person to spell out what my specific problem was-What if I didnt have any and was just trying to provoke a few questions).

If the post looks like a problem and sounds like a problem, then we are going to try to help solve the problem. DUH . . . that' what we do.

I just want to say that, although I am a young women with an older man, I have never been affended or felt discriminated against. It is sad that you would imply these things, especially seeing how everyone here is in a relationship that most of the public looks down upon. I am sorry if you have felt that way, but I don't believe that it was ever anyones intention. It offends me that you would post here and make fun of the fact that people were asking you questions trying to help you, when all you wanted to do was "provoke" us. We are here to help each other, and for you to waste our time by playing some sort of game, offends me. If you ever do have a problem we will all be willing to help you, just ask.

Hello,

I'm not going to say sorry you feel that way because it's largely biased opinion on your part. As a single person who posts here I've gotten several PM's from young men that wanted to contact me, but many of them:

1: Have no posts on the boards so I can see what kind of person they are.

2: Have nothing on their profile besides their birthday

3: Send one line queries on PM

and

4: If I do meet them in chat or IM quiz me or tell me they are horny.

So...if you are a new person it is best to "show your colors" by posting on the boards a bit before trying to contact someone. One of the screening questions I ask in PM's is : Why did you write me?

If they don't have an answer, then they were just looking for a female...not a friend.