older woman relationship

I am falling in love with an older woman (she is 16 years older than me).

How can I tell if she feels the same way about me?

How would you tell if a woman your age was falling in love with you? How old are you?

OK, I looked at your profile and you are about 31. Have you dated much? Have you ever read a book about body language? That can tell you quite a bit. Have you asked her out?

Hi Johndoe624,
Tolaly,agree with Nessa and Yellowrose.A other good pointer is dont ever push or rush,let things just happen.You drop a few little hints,and see if she picks up on them.
Basicly,just be yourself.If she's realy interested,turst me....you'll know.Just let things happen,dont force anything...

These are a few a for my thoughts..

The Shadow

Thanks all for giving me some advice.

Let me give some of the details. I am married but now going through a separation (actually my marriage has been not very good for about 3 years or so--my wife and I in fact do not spend more than a couple days a week together so that we can avoid each other).

Any, the mature woman is coworker, we've worked together for about 3 years. Roughly a year ago, she started asking me out for drinks. Initially not so regularly, but as the year went on, we would meet about once a week or so.

Anyway in late October, I got up the nerve to tell her how I felt (over the phone unfortunately), and she got angry--saying "don't I think she deserves more than to be with a married man" Also she said that she didn't think I was interested in her since I had dinner with another female coworker. The only reason I did this was because she blew me off.

A few weeks later, we had dinner again and she told me that she often thought about having a casual relationship with me, but that she was never able to have a casual relationship with men and always wound up getting hurt (she has been divorced twice and has had two long relationships that did not work out).

We have a great time when we are together and seem to be so much alike, in fact I have never met someone that so much like me (maybe too much).

The other thing that bothers me about her is that a lot of people in my office have told me that she has slept with some other coworkers, so I feel a little rejected as well (I have never confronted her about this, and really don't care who she sees or doesn't see, but it does hurt a little that she spends probably the most time with me but won't enter into a relationship).

Finally, she knows about my marital problems and recent events. I am not sure whether I should call her or not or what I should do.

Some advice would be greatly appreciated. Am I wasting my time?

And you have how many kids?:cool:

Yellow Rose, I have one son--2 1/2 yrs old. she has no kids.

Is the relationship with your wife at the point that you both know its OVER, both have discussed dating others? Its all out in the open here right.....or what (you moved out I assume?)

we have lived apart now for almost a year, my wife wants to wait until the new year for the divorce.

However, I have not told her about my seeing anyone else.

The other thing that bothers me about her is that a lot of people in my office have told me that she has slept with some other coworkers, so I feel a little rejected as well (I have never confronted her about this, and really don't care who she sees or doesn't see, but it does hurt a little that she spends probably the most time with me but won't enter into a relationship).


I dont know, odd to me it doesnt concern you that shes slept around with other co workers. Sounds more like your more concerned that they got over and you havent . As far as "wasting your time", I personally think you might be better to get a divorce first before pursuing a "relationship" with someone else. How involved do you expect this woman to be since your still married?

my wife and I in fact do not spend more than a couple days a week together so that we can avoid each otherIf you are separated, why do you spend any time at all together? If it is because of your child, can't you see him on your own, without her?

Do you see that you separated about the same time that you started seeing this woman? And last... why bring a sweet little baby into the world when your marriage was already bad? Have you tried marriage counseling for the sake of the baby?

I guess I just can't give love advice when I think you need to get the rest of your life in order, i.e. the divorce, letting your wife know that you are dating etc. I do wish you the best of luck with your life... Take care.

Before you can start a new chapter in your life, perhaps it be best to finish the chapter you are on currently.

If you are married, separated, then perhaps it would behove you to terminate it prior to moving onto another relationship.

It saddens me that you have separated yourself from your baby when he/she was only 18 months old. Have you considered couseling for the baby's best interest?

Love,
Sora