The Ex Wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah ugh, me again! Anyone have the evil ex wife that will not go away??? OM and I have been dating for over a year, in which his ex knows about. She can’t stand it, she hates this and uses their daughter as a pawn to manipulate him and make him feel guilty.

The have a great little girl, who is bright and is at the age where she sees what her mother is doing and doesn’t agree, though doesn’t want to hurt her mother.

At first the ex forbid me to be around her, then she screamed that she wanted my OM to get the daughter more. He now gets her 2 days a week and every other weekend. Now the ex wants more money and is mad again because my children are around her daughter, in which she believes is taking time from her daughter. We are not there every moment.

She calls constantly. I am 12 years younger than the ex, I have never met her, and try to reassure their daughter that her mom is a great person and just doesn’t know me.

I do part time modeling and when my ad came out in a local ad, the EX FLIPPED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we are back to everyday calls, the ex telling the daughter that when M and I get married she will never see her dad because of me. Threats for them to move out of state, emails explaining that she is sure I am a ***** and after his money. She even told her daughter, that hasn't reached 12 yet that I was a trophy and that her father was going though a mid life crisis..... AHHHHHHHH
How fun it was for me to try to explain to this little girl what her mother meant by that..ugh

I was hanging out with OM’s daughter the other day and she stated that she wanted her dad and I to get married, though she wanted to live with us and she didn’t know how to tell her mom this.

It is always something, more money, more insurance, more time, less time! The latest is Christmas eve. They are coming over to my house with my family to exchange gifts and eat….the ex has flipped again and doesn’t want her daughter around me. OM stated that this was his time and he has had their daughter for the past 10 days and he will take her wherever he wants. So now she is just calling over and over and trying to talk the daughter into not going to my house…..

You would think that after a year, pending marriage she would MOVE ON!!!!

Oh, just to mention, I have never met her or spoke with her. She has only seen me in the Sunday ads.....

Hey there...

I don't know what to do either... I have a husban with an Ex but she doesn't bother me.... I particularly don't care for her... but its hard to hate her LOL when she's so nice to me and her mother is so...

All I can say is your OM needs to be the one to take this stand with her... and she' can't take it out on him with their child because fact is They are divorced and he can remarry and YOUR OVER LEGAL AGE... so she can do that all she likes but the Courts will see differently... Maybe it's time your OM takes her to court!!

Oh man, that sounds rough sweetie......That ex of his needs to MOVE ON and get a life. I don't really have that issue with my OM's ex, she pretty much stays away.....but there are times when she bugs the crap out of us. Usually having to do with their 4 kids........
I really don't have any advice except that your man, which I"m sure he is doing already, just needs to put her in her place - meaning, not in your guy's life-

Hi Insearch,
My friends Gav & Moya are dealing with a very similar situation to your own. Its been going on for more than two years now, ever since Gav met a younger woman (my friend Moya). There are two children involved from Gav's former marriage, and he pays a horrible amount of child maintenance which his ex wife & her new drop-out lover completely exploit.

The situation is still NOT perfect, not even after so much time. But two things have improved the situation somewhat....Gav learning to stand up to his ex and assert appropriate boundaries, and formalising all communication with the ex.

The relationship with the ex is now a business relationship, and should be treated that way. That means the ex is not entitled to call up all the time. Agreements should be put in writing. There should be set hours where the ex can and cannot call. If the ex starts to behave reasonably in the future, this formalisation may not be necessary, but right now she is out of control.

All the best! I'm sorry to hear youre going through this!

Yes, it is unfortunate that you have become the victim in this situation and your bf is going to have to establish rules with his ex and not allow her to freely interfere in your lives.

I have the exact opposite situation. My ex is engaged and it is his fiancee who causes all the problems. We have been divorced for over a year and I have moved on into my current relationship. She moved in with my ex 3 weeks after our divorce was final and has attempted to take over ever since. She completely runs his life which is fine by me...that is his choice. Where I have a problem is when I find out that she has called my children's pediatrician saying she is their step mother in order to get info on them and she even went so far as to put herself as the parent/guardian of my daughter on an enrollment form and me as an authorized pick up person.

She continually bad mouths me to other parents at my daughter's school and even was so brazen to do so in front of me to my daughter's teacher. I finally had to draw the line and tell him that he better set her straight or we are going to find ourselves back in court. She has to learn that my children have a mother and father and while she is an important part of their lives, she is not/nor will ever be their parent.

Since I drew the line with my ex, he has gotten firmer with her and I have seen improvements. I doubt she and I will ever be friends, but I have hope that one day we will be able to be in the same room together without wanting to inflict bodily harm. LOL

I'm sure you have already discussed your concerns with your bf, now it's a matter of him establishing those boundaries with his child's mother. Best of luck to you!

M needs to protect you, his daughter, and your children from this lady's behaviour. Its stressful for you, poisonous for his daughter, and annoying for your kids.

I too have an annoying ex, but not anywhere near that level. I'll keep you and M in my prayers. Best wishes.

DanE

Ha, my guy has been divorced for over two years, his children are all adults and parents themselves, and his EX still tries to put him on a guilt trip. I started dating him after they were separated, but she still doesn't believe it - and continually calls me THAT GIRL ( I am 43 years old !). His daughters are all very cordial with me, but sometimes it is tense, I'm sure they wish their parents weren't divorced but my guy has told me they have all said to him they have never seen him so happy. Big breakthrough was the oldest daughter asked me to watch her son (18 months) a couple of weeks ago. He is a joy and I was happy to help her out. As soon as the EX found out, all hell broke loose! THAT GIRL shouldn't be around her grandson, blah blah blah. I guess the moral of my story is I will never be accepted by the EX as someone who will be around and part of her children's lives, but that's HER problem. I just keep trying to take the high road.

I know how you feel. i have been with my husband for ten yrs. married for six yrs to him. he got a divorce from his first wife three yrs prior to me meeting with him. she never stops. when i first dated him his ex told him he was not allowed to let his children meet with me. this is six months into the relationship. she promised him if they divorced she would make the children hate him. that she did. she spent all of her time brainwashing the kids. they are now 21 and 18 yrs of age and they do not call him or anything. he is a super father to my daughter whom is 15. i dont understand why she does this stuff. she makes stuff up all the time. she says her kids cannot come to our home due to we have a little dog and they have allergies. i gave my dog to a family member so he could see the children. two wks later she bought a dog and two cats. she is evil. she swears at my daughter which is immature. she calls constantly for any reason what so ever. she lies, she prank calls our home,etc...she hates his guts over the divorce but she is the one whom cheated and bled him dry. he is wonderful and she is simple minded. he does not even feel as though he even has children. his kids call when they want large amts of money. he paid a sick amt of child support for both of them and never ever missed his payments. he even has them covered under his health insurance and they are over aged. he loves them. but they use him. i feel badly people out there act as such. i believe in karma.

It's funny, as my ex's new wife says, "There are 2 sides to every story and then there is the truth." I read stories of the horrible "everyone" and I'm sure most of them are... ...but I know for my ex, all over my professional community, the kids schools, among our friends, his business associates, "I" was the "psycho", the "B@tch" from hell"... I kicked this man out b/c he had a drug problem and I am a drug/alcohol counselor. A friend of mine told me his car was parked outside the local drug dealer's everyday after work and he flew into a violent rage stating her baby, "Would never see the light of day." We've been apart since 1992 (when my now partner was 10) and still he persists in spreading lies and rumors about me as if he knew anything about me anymore. His wife has sometimes jumped on the bandwagon, and sometimes been very good--depending upon how obediant I was being. I NEVER get child support--for our two kids who I have custody of and who live with me. My partner feels extremly frustrated by this and feels he would like to defend me. I can tell you my Ex was no Bruce Willis when it came to me pairing off w/a man 18 years younger than me. He simply remarked that my personal life was a disgusting repulsive joke. Now several years later, he has come to appreciate my partner--largely because he does all this driving for my kids to sporting events, etc. when I am working and cannot. But generally things just fall into the category of "What's vile about Mia."

I am in my 1st relationship where there is an ex and a child involved, I shouldn't have read this post now I am worried! LOL I hope I don't have to deal with crap like you guys...I'm not so sure I could handle it as well. :(