My son, Jake

I have been reading about the ADD, ADHD, autism, etc....and I wasn't sure which thread to participate in, because my son has not been diagnosed yet. I don't know if sharing in the whole process would help anyone...but Im going to give it a shot.

My son, Jake is 10. He has always been a fairly quiet, mellow child.

He has always had some difficulties in school. He was very slow to learn to read, and at one time they thought he might be dyslexic. Apparently he isn't. Jake is 10, but he can't tell time and he doesn't know the difference between a dime and a quarter or a penny. A lot of things like that he doesn't know. He just learned to tie his shoe last year, finally.

If I am sitting with him and doing his homework, and helping him, he seems to "get it", and will complete it. However, a couple days later, if we sit down to the same exact thing over again, I have to re-explain it. At one time "they" told me he had a problem transferring things from his short-term to his long-term memory. Now "they" think he doesn't have any problem with that any longer either.

They have given him a battery of tests three times at the school since he was at kindergarten, and his IQ is normal. (Im not sure how this plays into it, but apparently has something to do with determining if you are learning disabled).

So...and Im sorry this is long...over Christmas break, he started developing these symptoms that I can only identify as obsessive/compulsive...

He is doing these strange movements with his hands constantly, especially when he is talking to other people. I can't describe the movements, but he doesn't seem to realize he is doing it, and does it constantly. Also, a lot of times when he is talking, he rubs his ear over and over and over.

He also has HUGE mood swings.....He gets angry over very small things that never used to bother him, and throws a HUGE fit....crying, screaming or in general being nasty to everyone. Then maybe 15 minutes later, he seems remorseful and apologizes.

He also has become obsessed with food. He inspects the plates to see if they have a "speck" on them, and sometimes I have to wash his plate two or three times. He is worried he is going to get food poisoning or "mad cow disease", and interrogates me about what is in the food I made. He checks all the expiration dates on the food. He inspects his food, and if he finds a "speck" in it, he will cry, throw it away and refuse to eat.

Out of frustration, I drove him to McDonalds the other day to eat...because he always enjoyed Happy Meals. I paid attention to what he was doing, but didn't comment...and he picked through all his fries, inspecting them and rejecting about half of them. When he found one I guess he found acceptable, he would bite the middle of it and put the ends to one side. He also picked parts of the batter off of his chicken nuggets and discarded them.

It seemed to me the parts he discarded where the darker-colored parts, the fries that were more brown than the others, etc.

This all came on very suddenly. I have no clue what this is...whether is stress-induced, or this is something he has had all along which affected him being able to learn, and just now is progressing into other symptoms.

Until now, if you met him, you would really have had no idea he had any sort of difficulties whatsoever.

I have an appointment with the school psychologist on Monday....beyond that I am not sure how to progress. I am completely....distraught.

Does this sound like obsessive/compulsive disorder to you all?

We have not had any unusual stresses at home..but he has had some stress at school due to being behind in his homework, and having to miss all his recesses and stay after school.

I will keep everyone updated as the process continues until I have some sort of diagnosis.

It popped into my mind that if you have insurance, you should take him to a psychiatrist. This sounds like the compulsive/obsessive description that I heard about on the radio which can be treated with medication, not only therapy.

Good luck with everything. I know this must be very hard to deal with.

Hi Jo...

I would agree these new behaviors sound somewhat obsessive/compulsive to me. But since they are newly developed I still am wondering why the other problems your son has had before these.

The things with the food remind me of myself when I was 7 or 8; I had a weird feeling about certain meats. Most notably chicken because if I could see "the veins" in anything other than chicken breasts Id not eat.
I also had a fear of "the specks". Id sort of fiddle with a speck of anything and then go about my business and forget about it. Then all of a sudden Id remember the speck, wonder where it had gone and feel sure I had EATEN it and was going to get horribly sick.

I think these behaviors lasted a little while and were during a time of big changes in my life.
A little later, I was in school and got up to leave and found myself literally paralyzed from the waist down.
The school had to have me carried into a car and driven home.

I spent a couple of days in the hospital, paralyzed (!!) and initially they felt I had Polio. In the end, it turned out to be stress induced and I had nothing wrong physically whatsoever.
This was about the time my mother remarried and moved our family out of NYC to New Hampshire. I was in the 4th grade.

I guess I just wanted to share some of the things which I have experienced personally which can be stress or dealing with life changes and how they can manifest physically.
I also wanted to say that my 12 year old son has those same mood swings right down to the remorse but he's always been like that---he gets it from his father and Im hoping he can learn to deal with the anger better. He's also fairly overwhelmed with Jr. High and Ive been in that school more times than I can count already this year. No fun....

I hope that youre able to find things to help Jake; Im sure that the school psychiatrist will be able to shed some light here.
~hugs~

Hmmm I would suspect a mild case of autism. Have you had him examined for that by your pediatrician? I would call your pediatrician and arrange for a consultation for yourself without Jake there. Go over all your behavioral concerns. Ask what tests can be done to help diagnose...

You are in thoughts dear. This sounds like a tough one...

I would tend to agree with marcy, but not autism. Sensory Integration Dysfunction. But, he's 10. You would have noticed much more extreme issues much earlier, not just learning issues.

I have scotopic sensitivity syndrome, which is a FORM of dyslexia, only it isn't testing through "dyslexia" testing channels. It's a disorder of the EYE. Might help him significantly to be tested for it, if possible. It's very common.

I would be disinclined to think ADHD or ADD.

OCD, maybe, but very mild.

More than likely, more than anything, it could be chocked up to starting PUBERTY. My sons cousin started at 9. Pre-teen years are 9-12. This causes major body changes, hormone changes, mood changes, etc., etc..

Rushing him off to a shrink is going to make him think there is something "wrong" with him. I mean, seriously wrong. And it just doesn't sound like that to me.

Different kids all transition into puberty much differently. I definitely went weirdly OCD for a while, but then worked my way through it.

~phosphorescent

I tend to lean towards OCD. And, possibly one reason this may have come on suddenly is maybe he is going into puberty. Puberty can trigger all sorts of changes and may even bring OCD to the forefront.

I would not delay in getting him diagnosed or treated. These issues are affecting his schoolwork and probably his social life as well. The sooner he is diagnosed and receives treatment, the better.

Best of luck to you Jody. You know I love you and am here for you anytime you need to talk. Poor little fella and poor mama. I know how much you love him and am sure you are very worried. :(

Thanks you guys, so much. ((hugs)) Im going to see the school psychologist first on Monday, because they are in the middle of testing him yet again at the school, and I want to make sure they know what has happened over the break. And maybe she will let me know where to go from here....

I don't know how to word this, so bear with me...but I have just had a real hard time adjusting to the fact that something is "wrong" with one of my children. I have two older children who are like....super acheivers. I have spent my whole life since I was 18 with my main focus on raising my kids.....I have never ever even left my children with a babysitter (only on a very rare occasion with my mother or family member). In a way, my children have been like..my biggest achievement. I guess I don't now how to word it, but Im just scared and sad. I suppose I will feel much better when I find out what I am actually dealing with here, and where to do from this point. The unknown can be very scary!

I love you guys, and I will keep you updated.

Do you have insurance? If so, I would still strongly encourage you to seek help from your pediatrician and/or private care. I know I'm a lot more suspicious than most folks, but I like to keep my care out of school and in my own hands. I'm concerned about labels that follow my kids and I have doubts about the quality of psychological care that is given at schools.

Toothaches = dentist, hurt arm = doctor, education = school, therapy = therapist... at least to me and I know that many, many would disagree with me.

I really agree with Marcy on this... if kids get a label in school, it's like the scarlet letter all the way through. I would talk with his pediatrician or the family doctor first and hopefully he/she would be able to refer you on to the next step.

(((hugs)))

Hello there Jo!

Although I do not post often, I am a consistent lurker and with great sadness read about the issues you are experiencing with your son. Please consider yourself hugged by me.

Anyway, as a parent of an adoptive child with differing abilities, I can empathize with you and your son. Please check out this link for Asperger Syndrome:
http://www.as-if.org.uk/index.htm
It is quite informative and may be of some assistance for you.

It is imperative that you get a diagnosis for your son from a medical professional first. Once armed with this MEDICAL diagnosis, you can go to the school and incorporate this with the school criteria for special education, based on your state educational requirements. I used to be concerned about 'labeling' my little boy with a list of diagnoses, but due to the changes in the federal laws in the last five years, my concerns now are minimal. My little boy is now 9 years old and has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome as his primary diagnosis (FAS), Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD), Asperger Syndrome, Oppositional/Defiant Disorder (ODD), Obessive/Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and ADHD too. However, with assistance from the school system and some counseling/therapy, he experiencing great success, both academically and socially.

I truly do understand what you are trying to express regarding your other children and Jake - my grown daughter was a member of Mensa when she was 10. When my son was 4, his IQ ranged in the low to mid 70's. I was concerned that I was not emotionally and mentally able to cope with the responsibility of raising a "challenging child" when I was in my mid 40's. Last month my son's IQ test results showed a great improvement and I am so grateful for all the extra assistance we received from the school system and medical system in area.

My son has all these medical diagnoses, but those diagnoses ARE NOT HIM. He is not dis-abled, but is differently abled.

Good luck - and please keep us posted!

Pam

Jody,

I kinda get the feeling it could be Aspergers as well.... here are some of the symptoms :

The following are a number of signs and symptoms that might be present in a child with AS:

-inappropriate or minimal social interactions
-conversations almost always revolving around self rather than others
-stilted or repetitive speech
-lack of "common sense"
-problems with reading, math or writing skills
-obsession with complex topics such as patterns or music
-average to above-average verbal cognitive abilities
-average to below-average nonverbal cognitive abilities
-awkward movements
-odd behaviors or mannerisms

*most children are often diagnosed with this disorder between the ages of 5-9 since it appears with a later onset.


I got this info from Kids Health.org (http://health.yahoo.com/search/healthnews?lb=s&p=id%3A8834) which I subscribe to on My Yahoo. It is very important to get your child tested . I wish you all the best in getting a proper diagnosis for your child...I myself would also make sure u have him seen by a CHILD psychiatrist over a school psychologist but thats just me.

Hey there...

First off, I just wanted to let everyone know, I didn't mean that the only person I was going to have evaluate him was the school counselor. It was just that they are in the middle of doing some school testing, so I thought I should go by the school and make them aware of the things that have started happening at home to take into consideration in their testing.

A specialist in Atlanta feels that this is not Aspergers, but more likely Tourettes syndrome or possibly actually ADD coupled with some obsessive/compulsive behavior. Soooo..she is sending me a list of specialists to to take him to be evaluated.

He has lessened up on the obsessive behavior about food some...but is still doing the strange movements with his hands about 90% of the time.

We're hanging in there, and I'll let you know when I get a firm diagnosis.

Wow Jody...

I didn't even think of Tourettes syndrome. My boss's husband has it. I was surprised when she told me because he does not have the outbursts of cursing and so on that I had always associated with it. I am assuming there are varying forms of it...

Good luck with the testing, I hope you find out something soon.

(((hugs)))

Poor Jody! I am so sorry that this is happening to you. We feel so helpless when our children are afflicted with a mystery disease. My son almost died from a mystery lung ailment when he was 13. I hope that you will have a diagnosis soon.

I just saw the movie "Lorenzo's Oil". Your son's symptoms seem to be similar to Lorenzo's, although his symptoms could be from a lot of other diseases as well, many of which have been listed here already. I copied a paragraph from the ALD site:


Childhood X-linked ALD. This is thought to be the most common. It is known as an x-linked disorder as the abnormal gene is located on the x-chromosome; it is carried by females (who have two x-chromosomes and so the healthy one effectively cancels out the other) and passed on to males (who have only one x-chromosome). It will usually present in boys aged between 4 and 10 starting with abnormal or uncharacteristic behaviour, coordination problems and a decline in school performance. This will normally progress to deterioration in all functions including speech, hearing, sight, swallowing, mobility and dementia usually within months of initial symptoms. The affected child will eventually be completely dependent and the family will need full support and assistance from the health and social services. Death will normally ensue within one to ten years. In some cases the disorder appears to arrest and the subject will live into adulthood.


Good luck. Let us know what happens on Monday.

Dang Patricia, that scared me to death!

Now, after reading that, you all just pray it's something like ADD. That certainly puts things into perspective in the whole....feeling sad for myself because my son is having problems.

((hugs)) Waiting to see a specialist.

BTW...when I mentioned they thought it might be Tourette's, my uncle has some form of this. Also, when we were younger, my brother developed some strange tics like clearing his throat, or walking and skipping every third step. Like 1love mentioned, neither of them had the vocal tics or more outward signs of Tourette's.

Considering all this, Im thinking that this is something I have passed on to him genetically. I have been reading up on it, and it sure sounds like they could be right.

Hi Jody,

Just wanted to post a bit of my experiences I have been through with my oldest daughter with you. She just turned 12 this past Dec. When she was 9 months old she came down with a sever lazy eye her vision in her lft eye was so bad that her brain had completely shut off using it.

Well I got her glasses, and then started eye patch therapy for that. Now as if this wasn't enough for her to deal with....by the time she reached 2nd grade which made here 8 to 9 years old she started having behavior problems at school. She didn't want to do her work/or homework, things just kept going in a downward slide.

Well like you stated then the school decided to run all kinds of tests on her. Of course the first thing I thought too was that she might be dislexic. Even now sometimes I wonder....just like every thing else there are many variations of it from very mild to extreme. But they said she wasn't. What they did find out was she had an IQ of 116. Which they said was high......said normal was around 100.

They then also inform me that she had a learning disablity in reading. Pretty much she couldn't read. Come to find out except for math (as long as it wasn't word problems) everything she knew she memorized from listening.

I of course had a very hard time understanding this seeing how she was as smart as they said she was. But was told that it was not uncommon at all for someone that was smart to have a learning disabilty.

Needless to say even after we got the problem diagnosed helping her was very hard. Her behavior through it was like trying to put a cat in a tub of water. She hated reading.....and at that time refused to do anything she felt she couldn't do perfectly. Art has always been one of her passions, and even it had to be perfect. If it wasn't she would rip it up and throw it away.

She also had a lot of social issues with other kids...to the point she did get violent with a couple of them....and still has some, but not any extreme ones anymore thank goodness.

This year has been the best she has ever had. I personally chalk it up to the fact that I think she has the best learning center teacher she has ever had, but also the class started out with 5 to 6 kids and now is down to 3. So I think that helped too.

I am proud to say she got her 2nd quarter report card and for the first time she made the honor roll. She now enjoys going to school She still doesn't sit and read like I'd like her to do. But for the first time her reading skills are at grade level. She is still having troubles with the concepts of what she reads so we are working on that now. But just getting her to reading grade level has been a great leap for her.

So your son's problem might very well be a learning problem that might just be getting missed coupled with the stress of not liking school because of it.

My daughter too had fits that would last a while, and did get picky about things. Especially clothing if it was a set like shorts or pants with a shirt she had to wear the matching set or it would upset her, and if one thing went wrong it would ruin her entire day. I also have a friend that moves her hands like she is signing sign language when she talks, and she doesn't even know she does it either. It is just a unconcious habit that she said she just started at some point, and does all the time now.

One other thing I wanted to say was if it is something that is genetic.....please try (I know it will be hard) not to beat yourself up over it. I fought manic depression for years, and last year was diagnosed bi-polar manic depressive. My brother has sever ADHD. When my brother was diagnosed ADHD my mom told the doctor how I was as a child and they said I most likely had it too, just not as extreme. They told my mom it was genetic and pasted from the mothers side. She got very upset even depressed thinking it was her fault that we had these problems because they told her that. I just want to say even if it is genetic.........it is NOT your fault. You have no control over genetic makeup or anyway of knowing what would be pasted to your children. I know how it tore my mother up when she was told that...making her feel like it was her fault. Please don't feel guilty for something you couldn't have control over. If that be the case.

Hope some where in my ramble you find something useful.

Raveness